


Tales From Babylon: Aaron and Brian

by Rivermoon1970



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), NCIS, Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Foursome - M/M/M/M, From Sex to Love, Healing from past issues, Infant Death, M/M, Men Being Stupid, Minor Character Death, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Timelines?What Timelines?, talking lots of talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:05:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 61,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970
Summary: Fairly new to Pittsburgh Special Agent In Charge Aaron Hotchner is dragged out of his apartment by his best friends Jackson Grimes and Tony DiNozzo to a night of fun at the predominantly gay club, Babylon. What Aaron didn't expect was to actually let loose and have. He also did not expect to meet the very complicated Brian Kinney. He thought it was just going to be a one-night stand, even he wasn't prepared for the strange complicated mess his life was about to take. In the end, he wouldn't have had it any other way.





	1. Cover

 

**Criminal Minds Big Bang 2018**

**Tales From Babylon: Aaron and Brian by Rivermoon1970**  
Pre-Show Criminal Minds  
Season 2-3 of Queer As Folk (US)

 **Beta** : [NimueOfTheNorth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NimueOfTheNorth), and [KliqzAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KliqzAngel)  
Amazing Art by: [KliqzAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KliqzAngel)

 

 

 


	2. Chapter One

 

_ Switch me on, Turn me up, Don't want it Baudelaire, Just glitter lust, Switch me on, Turn me up, I want to touch you, You're just made for love... Goldfrapp Oh La La _

 

“Boss, you need to get out of the office.”

“And why do you say that?” Aaron leaned his office chair back as he stared at his Agent as she took a seat on the other side of his desk.

“Because you have been working too hard. So has Tony. We haven’t gotten a case for a while, and yes I know that has let us take care of lingering paperwork, you and Tony are getting growly and scaring poor Dr. Reid.” Tara Gideon, Tony’s partner, smiled at Aaron.

“You know very well Dr. Reid can take care of himself.”

“I think you and Tony need to get to know him better, and going out would be fun.” Tara crossed her arms and bounced her leg, smirking at her boss.

“Maybe you’re right. It is Friday. I’ll call Jax and have him come along.”

“Great. We should go to Babylon.”

Aaron rolled his eyes a little and shook his head.

“Really, Tara?”

“Come on, you know you’ve been curious for way too long. Cut loose a little.”

Aaron contemplated all the ramifications of going to a predominantly gay nightclub. While his immediate superior knew his background, not everyone in the upper echelons of the FBI knew. It was a risk, but a fairly low one. Babylon was not the typical nightclub that one would find other FBI agents letting loose in. Watching Tara’s enthusiasm had Aaron’s mouth turn up in a tiny smile.

“Alright, we’ll go.”

“And dress hot.”

“He always dresses hot and he knows it. What are you two conspiring about?” Tony asked as he moved into Aaron’s office and took the chair next to Tara’s as he kept hold of the coffee cup in his hand.

“Going out tonight, and talking him into going to Babylon. We need to get him out of the office more.”

Tony almost spit out the coffee he had just taken a sip of. He looked at Tara, then swung his gaze over at Aaron.

“He would eat those boys alive. An Alpha male like Aaron oozing through Babylon? Jeez, I’d sell tickets to that.”

“He’s taking Jackson.” Tara grinned wide at Tony who almost choked.

“Oh, we must go. You and your bestie in a place like Babylon is going to be every one of those boys wet dream. Some may die just from the hotness the two of you exude together.” Tony teased as he sipped at his coffee.

“You two are terrible and I don’t know how you talk me into these things.”

Tara stood and walked around the desk, kissing Aaron on the cheek.

“Because you love us.”

“You two still have the Chandler files to finish up.”

“Right, Boss.” Tara almost flounced out of the office and went to her desk.

“Why don’t you invite Dr. Reid. I think Tara’s right, we need to get out more and we should invite him along. Kid’s new to the city, I think it would be good to take him with us.” Tony waited patiently while Aaron did his mental gymnastics of slotting each person into their place in his life. Dr. Reid was new and still an unknown, but Aaron knew Tony was right. 

“Go, tell Tara she can invite Reid.” Aaron went back to working on the budget reports for the office. He really hated the budget reports, it was one of the downsides to running his own office.

“I’m coming over, helping you dress.”

“I don’t need help dressing, Tony.”

“If you wanna get laid you do.”

“And if I just want to go out and  _ not  _ get laid?”

Tony just grinned as he stood, grabbed his cup and walked towards the door.

“Knowing you, you won’t even need to try. They will be all over you. You know you aren’t just Jackson’s wingman. The two of you together are terrors.”

Aaron smiled just that tiny smile once more as he waved Tony out the door.

Later that night Aaron was home getting dressed when there was a knock at his door. He wasn’t surprised to see Jackson leaning against the door jamb looking smug.

“So, the terrible two finally talked you into getting out and letting loose for once?”

Aaron couldn’t help the smile that split across his lips as he pulled Jackson in the house and kissed him. The two had been best friends since before junior high school and had shared much of their lives with each other. Jackson knew everything Aaron had gone through as a kid. His family had become a sanctuary for Aaron at one time.

“Hey,” fingers touched each other’s faces, a grounding technique they had developed over the years. 

“Hey yourself. You okay with this? I know how difficult it’s been for you lately.”

“Yeah, I think it’s time I get out there. I don’t even know what I’m looking for or if I’m even looking.”

“Don’t do that Aaron. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Just go with what feels good tonight. Maybe let yourself get laid. Doesn’t mean you have to make any kind of lasting commitments.”

Aaron picked up a picture he had on his mantel and took a deep breath.

“You’re right. It’s time to move on. You here to dress me?”

Jackson’s wicked smile had him sauntering into Aaron’s bedroom. Standing before the closet, Jackson looked through Aaron’s clothes, grabbed a shirt, a pair of old jeans that made Aaron’s ass look great, and a leather jacket.

“Tony called me, said to help you out and make sure you weren’t going to wear a suit. Put those on.”

Aaron lifted a brow. He was sceptical of Jackson’s motives, but he decided to indulge his best friend. Grabbing the jeans he started to slip them on over his boxers. 

“Un un,” Jackson pushed the jeans off Aaron, then the boxers, making Aaron step out of both. He could not help that his cock twitched when Jackson was practically eye level. He was prodded back into the jeans sans underwear. Sliding them up and over his hips, Jackson stood and brushed a kiss on Aaron’s lips.

“Like that. Just be careful of zippers.”

Aaron chuckled as he shook his head. Heeding Jackson’s words, Aaron zipped up, then slipped on the tight dark blue t-shirt and the fitted leather jacket.

“There, you’ll turn every head in the club.” Jackson fell onto the bed while Aaron grabbed a pair of comfortable yet stylish boots. As soon as he zipped up the second boot, a honk sounded just outside his house. Aaron knew that sound anywhere, it was Tony in his 1969 Mustang. It was going to be a tight fit for all of them, but they would manage.

“Come on then, loverboy. Let’s go have some fun.”

Aaron really didn’t know why he was doing this. He was past all the partying, one-night stands and general ridiculousness of what happens in a person’s life during their twenties. He had, had two vastly different relationships, was responsible for a whole office full of Agents that were still getting used to him as their boss. He had matured quickly, given his background. Sometimes he wondered if it was too quick, but Jax was there, helping to ground him, reminding him what it was all for.

“Alright, alright I’m coming.”

“Not yet, but you might before the night is over.”

“You are horrible.”

“Yes, yes I am. Now let’s go.” Jackson grabbed Aaron’s hand and pulled him out to the waiting car. Tara was in the front, Spencer was in the back, looking a little lost.

“Spencer, you look really nice.”

Spencer visibly swallowed as Aaron slid into the back seat, with Jackson following after. 

“Oh, ah, thank you, Sir.”

“Spencer, we are out of the office. It’s okay to call me Aaron, or if that makes you uncomfortable, use Hotch.”

Spencer blushed, and Aaron just smiled at him. 

“Where are we going first.”

“I thought we could go to Donovan’s for dinner, then head over to Liberty Street.”

“Sounds good.”

Jackson curled up against Aaron, the banter between Tara and Tony settling Aaron’s nerves as they sped along towards their destination. He had not been out like this in a long time and had no idea what to expect. 

Dinner was fun with Spencer opening up more, telling the group a little bit about his life. Aaron could relate to some of it, being smarter than the other kids, growing up too fast, and deep seeded father issues. Aaron wasn’t sure what it was that Spencer wasn’t telling them, but if there had been anything shady in the younger man’s background, he wouldn’t have made it as far as he had in the FBI. He would let the Agent tell them in his own time. 

“Alright kids and kidettes, here we are.” 

“I cannot believe you guys talked me into this.” Aaron shook his head as they all piled out of Tony’s car. 

“You are going to have fun, Aaron. Now, leave your jacket in the car.”

“Jax.”

“I mean it, show off a little.”

“You know I don’t stay in shape because I want to pick-up a quick fuck,” Aaron huffed, he was a little annoyed with his friends.

“No, I know you stay in shape because of those ridiculous triathlons you do. Now leave it in the car.”

“I agree, Boss, you should leave it.” Tony grinned and Aaron wanted to wipe that grin off his face. 

“Fine, fine, you guys win.” Aaron rolled his eyes as he slipped off the jacket and threw it in the trunk. 

“Now, come here.” Jackson beckoned Aaron over and poured some water in his hands from a bottle he had been drinking from, and messed up Aaron’s hair a little. “There, you look more presentable.” Aaron was pulled down into a kiss, which made Aaron chuckle. 

“Let’s go and get this over with.”

“I say he doth protest too much.” Tony teased as he sashayed just a bit as they walked out of the alley. Walking arm-in-arm the friends made their way to Babylon, where the bouncer took one look at Aaron and Jackson and waved their little group in. 

“See why he’s so fun to take out? He gets us into the best places.” Tony pushed Aaron towards the door. Draping an arm around Jackson, Aaron finally conceded that this might be fun. He looked back at the shocked look on Spencer’s face. With his ever present messenger bag gone, and the way Aaron assumed Tara had made him dress, the youngest of them looked a little shell-shocked. Aaron waited for Spencer to catch up.

“Just relax, Spencer and go with it.”

“I just never feel comfortable in clubs.”

“Well, you look great. I’m sure you won’t be lonely long.” Aaron smiled and was pulled along by Jackson.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Spencer said just loud enough for Aaron to hear, but he didn’t respond because he was being pulled onto the dance floor. 

Letting Jackson lead, the two of them made quite the pair as they moved around the dance floor. Aaron had a hand on the back of Jackson’s neck and their foreheads connected. Letting the music take them, Aaron was beginning to relax and just enjoy the night. 

“I’m going to go up to the bar and get a drink, think you can be a good boy?” Jackson teased as he started to move away.

“I’m more worried about what trouble you will get into.” Aaron watched his best friend walk away. He wasn’t alone long when a man moved over to start dancing with him.

“I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to leave.” 

Aaron could admit that the man was attractive, but he wasn’t fooled by the air of arrogance surrounding the man.

“Oh, and why is that?”

“To have a chance to dance with you, of course.”

Aaron gave him an appreciative look and moved in closer. Maybe he did need to get out of his head and have a little fun. He rarely indulged, but maybe he thought he should.

“I’m Brian, if you even wanted to know.” Brian closed the gap, the music changed and became a hard pulsing rhythm that Aaron let Brian lead, for now.

“Aaron. But, I’m sure you’ll forget by morning.”

Aaron slowly and subtly started to take the lead, and when he grabbed one of Brian’s arms and held it behind his back, he leaned in and kissed the man’s neck. 

“Something you should know about me, Brian. I don’t like to be led, in anything.”

“And I don’t bottom for anyone.” Brian pushed Aaron just a little away from him and looked him up and down.

“Then I guess all we get is this one dance.” 

Brian didn’t say anything else as they continued a silent battle for dominance.   
  
Meanwhile, Jackson was watching from the bar at the top of the stairs.

“I just don’t get it.” 

“I’m sorry?”

“I don’t get how my friend does it. Look at that guy, not your typical fare around here. He’s gorgeous. I mean, most everyone here is good-looking, but that, that is a class of man you just don’t see around here.”

“Well, I can tell you he doesn’t even try. I’ve seen men and women flirt shamelessly with him and normally he gently and shyly brushes them off.”

“Doesn’t seem so shy tonight.”

“Yeah, Aaron has a way to adapt to any situation. He found what he wants and now it’s an erotic dance of an Alpha male exuding confidence and dominance. I guarantee before much longer his partner down there will submit.”

“Brian? Submit? Never.”

Jackson turned to look at the man next to him and smiled.

“Oh jeez, there’s two of you?”

Jackson didn’t stop smiling as he turned to the bartender and ordered another drink for himself and his bar companion.

“Jackson, by the way.”

“Michael. So, you and tall, dark and dangerous?”

“Best friends. I had to drag him out here, but I’m glad I did. It’s nice to see him letting loose.”

“So nothing...you know….”

“Aaron and I? Maybe a school boy crush a long time ago, but we both got over it. We love each other, but it’s nothing more than a long, deep friendship.”

“How do you do it?”

Jackson turned to look at Michael and saw the look he was giving Aaron and Brian. Aaron had won the first battle and was leading the dance.

“Do what?”

“Let him go like that?” Michael barely said as he looked down at the drink in his hands.

“Because we both knew long ago that if we ever tried to be a couple, it would ruin what it is we do have. We’re platonic soulmates, but I’m strong enough in myself to know there is someone out there for him that isn’t me and I’m okay with that.”

“You’re gorgeous you know. You could have anyone in this club, yet you’re here talking to me, why?” Michael’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and Jackson wondered who or what had hurt him. He looked back down at the dance floor and knew that Aaron would be having a very good night. He looked back at Michael and smiled.

“You want to get out of here?”

“What?”

Jackson laughed as he grabbed Michael’s hand and led him outside. Stopping where Tara was with Tony and Spencer he smiled.

“I think Aaron is not going to be going back home with you, and this is Michael. Michael, this is Tara, Tony and Spencer. Say hello, then goodbye.” Tony’s laughter could be heard as Jackson pulled a very startled Michael along.

_________

“Why don’t we get out of here.” Brian looked Aaron in the eye, almost like a challenge.

“You lead.” Aaron pulled back just enough to let Brian lead him out of the dance floor. Aaron looked up and saw Tony looking down at him. A slight nod of his head told Aaron that Jackson found someone. Aaron chuckled slightly and shook his head. It had not taken his friend long to find a companion for the evening, or for several if he held to his M.O. When he slid into Brian’s jeep he looked over at the man and wondered what the hell he was doing.

“I don’t normally do this kind of thing.”

“What kind of thing,” Brian said in an almost bored voice.

“Go home with a stranger.”

Brian looked over at Aaron with an arrogant little smirk on his face. After a moment Brian chuckled and shook his head.

“Well, there is a first time for everything.”

After parking, Aaron got out first and followed Brian into the elevator. Before Brian could try to take control, Aaron pushed him against the back edge of the elevator, grabbed his wrists and held his arms above his head. Leaning down, he used his tongue to outline along Brian’s jaw, then his neck, and just behind his ear. Brian was trying to break out of the hold, but Aaron had him held fast.

“Yes, there is a first time for everything. You aren’t used to someone taking control, are you?”

“No,” Brian’s voice was breathless as Aaron worked to make him fall apart just a little.

“I’m going to take you apart, Brian. If you think this is just going to be a quick fuck, think again. I don’t work like that. If you can’t take that, then I can just leave and call a cab. But, I will take you, over and over again.” Aaron whispered in Brian’s ear. The hitch in his breath Aaron knew that Brian was fighting himself. The war lasted all the way to Brian’s floor.

“Don’t leave.” Brian finally looked in Aaron’s eyes and strained against the hold. The elevator finally stopped, and Aaron let Brian go. Stepping into Brian’s apartment, Aaron was impressed. He stopped just inside when he saw a young man pop his head over a chair he was sitting in.

“Never mind him, he’s my personal stalker.” Aaron had to hold back a laugh because underneath the snarky comment, there was affection. Of course Aaron had been trained to listen to subtleties, and see through masks. He was beginning to see through Brian’s mask he put up against the world. He had been hurt over and over and used sarcasm and arrogance as a barrier against everyone and everything. There was also a lot of underlying anger that the man had most likely never dealt with. Aaron wasn’t sure how much he wanted to peel back. 

“Don’t be a little shit.”

“I won’t.” The kid smiled and Aaron had to kick himself for the thoughts that flitted through his head. “Be nice, this one looks like a keeper.” The kid ducked back down and Aaron just shook his head. A hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back towards the bedroom that was cleverly cut off from the rest of the loft.

“Don’t mind him. He’s just here till he’s better. But, I don’t want to talk about my charge.” Brian pulled something out of his pocket. Aaron immediately recognized it and grabbed Brian’s wrist.

“No drugs.” Aaron took the vial out of Brian’s hand. “You do drugs, I’m gone.” He let his tone speak for itself.

“No big deal.” Brian started to strip and Aaron did the same. There was already lube and a stack of condoms on the nightstand. It gave Aaron pause, but then he looked back at Brian who was on the bed, splayed out, cock half-hard and Aaron lost his train of thought. He kneed up on the bed and crawled up Brian’s body slotting himself between the other man’s legs, pressing his own hardness against Brian’s. Grabbing his wrists, Aaron pulled Brian’s arms above his head and held him fast. The man wasn’t fighting him, at least not yet.

“I don’t bottom, so we’ll just have to figure this out now, won’t we?” Aaron’s voice was husky as he ground down against the man under him. Brian had tried to flip them, but Aaron used his strength and current position to keep Brian where he wanted him.

Leaning down, Aaron kissed the man under him while one hand explored the firm lines and planes of the body under him. His other kept a hold of the wrists in his hand, holding Brian exactly where he wanted him. Legs wrapped around his waist as hips moved against his, grinding together, as the kisses heated up. Aaron licked at the seam of Brian’s lips, encouraging him to open, their tongues just barely brushed together making one of them moan, Aaron wasn’t sure who it was. Aaron wasn’t thinking of anything other than the pleasure he could give to the person under him. 

Sitting up, Aaron grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Brian’s hip, lifting his ass higher up. 

“Yes, or no.” Aaron looked down and that same war was going on in Brian’s head. Aaron grabbed the lube and poured some in his hand and started to stroke the hard cock as the man tried to decide. 

“We could just do this, trade blow jobs, frottage, intercrural, you’re choice. But if you want to fuck me, that will have to be a no.” 

Aaron watched the play of emotions flitting over Brian’s face. He knew this was going to be a hard decision but Aaron was going to come out on top, however this played out.

“Fuck me,” Brian finally growled, but Aaron knew it was a hard won victory on his part.

Reaching over he grabbed a condom giving Brian full access to his nipple, which the man took full advantage of.

“Shit,” Aaron moaned as Brian licked and sucked at the hard little nub. Finally he pulled away and went about preparing Brian to take his cock. He thrust a single finger inside the waiting hole, and the little noises Brain was making spurred Aaron on. 

“Jesus, just fuck me already,” Brian’s breathless demand had Aaron chuckling as he grabbed the small towel on the nightstand to wipe his hands off. Now that his mind was made up, Brian was going to try to take back some control. This was exactly what both of them needed, dominance play was a huge turn on for Aaron. Slipping the condom on his already aching cock, Aaron had to wait a moment. If he pushed in right away, he knew he wasn’t going to last, and he wanted this to last. He wanted the over confident man to feel him for days. When Aaron finally trusted that he wasn’t going to go off like a teenage boy on prom night, he pushed in, giving Brian only enough time to get used to him then he was fucking Brian for all he was worth.

Brian was vocal, making little pleasure noises that spurred Aaron on. Hands gripped his ass, while lips and teeth did their best to leave marks on his chest. Skin slick with sweat, breath shallow, the sensation of his very nerves on fire all contributed to how hard and fast Aaron was moving his hips. Legs wrapped around him pulling him in closer. Aaron snaked a hand between their bodies and took Brian’s leaking cock in his hand and pumped. The precome making it easy as did the sweat from their bodies. 

“Fuck, shit, fuck,” Brian growled over and over as Aaron pushed him to that edge, then one good thrust against Brian’s prostate had the man spilling between their bodies. The tight squeeze of muscles around his cock had Aaron faltering, then he was spilling inside the condom.

“Damn,” Aaron managed as he laid his forehead against Brian’s. 

“Yeah, Jesus that was hot.” Brian pulled Aaron to him and kissed him. After a few kisses, and a slap to his ass, Aaron pulled away to go take care of the condom and clean up. He found the bathroom easily, then after he was done, he padded back to the bedroom where Brian was already falling asleep. Aaron shook his head as he grabbed his jeans and slipped them on, but didn’t bother to zip them up. He wanted something to drink before he slipped into bed. He had promised Brian he was going to use him all night long, and that was just what he was going to do.

Looking in the fridge he saw some bottled water, which he grabbed and poured a glass after finding one in the cupboard.

When Aaron finally looked up he saw the kid looking at him from where he was sitting at a bar stool.

Aaron stared back as he sipped the water. 

“How old are you, kid?”

“Old enough.”

Aaron looked over at the bedroom and saw that Brian was still asleep.

“You really care about him.”

The kid looked down at the bar and shrugged, then looked back up at Aaron.

“Doesn’t really matter.” 

“Feelings always matter. I’ve only just met him and I can tell there is a complicated man underneath that devil may care attitude.”

The kid looked up and smiled at Aaron.

“Yeah, there is. And people just keep fucking with him, not letting him grow up. Or when he tries, they push him back into that box they have created for him. He doesn’t trust anyone, not really. Michael maybe, but…”

“It’s not a good relationship?”

The kid shook his head and Aaron was beginning to understand that this young man was more empathic than people might understand. He saw a little of himself in the kid and wondered.

“What’s your name?”

“Justin.”

Aaron smiled and Justin visibly swallowed.

“I’m Aaron,” he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he dropped his voice just a little. Leaning forward, Aaron brushed a hand over a healing scar on Justin’s forehead. “What happened?”

“Don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Sometimes talking about things helps us get past them.”

“Therapy?” Justin turned up his nose and shook his head. “Was dragged to therapy once. My Mom was being weird and intrusive. Didn’t like it.”

Aaron gently cupped Justin’s cheek and ran a thumb over his chin.

“We all need help sometimes. There isn’t anything shameful about needing to talk to someone. Doesn’t have to be a traditional therapist. I know a Doctor, he’s a pretty good guy. Kind of a nerd, but so am I to tell you the truth.”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Hmm. Do you have a phone?” 

Justin frowned a moment then stood and walked over to the living area, grabbed his phone and brought it over to Aaron and handed it to him. 

“You ever need anything, you want to talk, or to take me up on my offer, call that number. I may not be able to answer right away, but I will answer.”

Justin smiled as he took the phone back and slipped it into his back pocket. Aaron stood and leaned back against the counter, drinking his water. They stayed there in companionable silence while Aaron sipped his water. 

“Um, can I...can I draw you?” Justin looked at Aaron, a little fear and hope mixed in his eyes and it broke Aaron’s heart because he had seen that very look in his own eyes as a teen. The need to feel wanted and accepted. 

“You any good?”

Justin scrambled off the stool and ran into the living room grabbed a pad and showed Aaron. Justin’s hand shook a little, but Aaron could see he was trying to concentrate to hold the pencil in his hand the right way. It made Aaron wonder even more what happened to him.

“How do you want me?” Dammit, that sounded way too sexual the way it came out. Justin just smiled as he moved back to his place at the bar. 

“Just like you were a moment ago, with your head down and slightly tilted. And, maybe slip your right hand in your jeans pocket.” Aaron did as Justin asked, his jeans slipped down his hip a little, and his unzipped fly opened just a little more. Aaron wondered what the hell he was doing, but the bright, enthusiastic smile on Justin’s face had him wanting to do whatever the kid asked.

“Perfect,” Justin was a bit breathless. Then the only sounds in the apartment was the sound of pencils and chalk on paper. “You’re beautiful. And you’re different from who he usually brings  home.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. You feel different. Like you have it at least a little together. You’re confident, but not cocky, ya know?”

“I think I do. I’ve had to grow up, fast. Learn to take care of myself. It helped that when I was at my worst, I had a mentor that helped me figure out my life. He made me talk to someone, and I will always be grateful for that.”

Silence reigned again, then after a while Justin announced he was done. Aaron looked at the drawing and his own breath was caught in his throat.

“That’s beautiful.”

Justin smiled wide and blushed a little making his youthful face beautiful. His hand shook a little still, but there was a cautious confidence in the drawing, almost like he was trying to get back something he had lost. The imperfect nature of the drawing charmed Aaron and he reached over and gently laid his hand over Justin’s, stopping the shaking. 

“Whatever happened to you, whatever you’re going through, know that you can overcome it, if you let yourself.”

Tentatively Justin curled his fingers around Aaron’s and brought their hands up to his lips. He kissed the back of Aaron’s hand, then closed his eyes as he laid his cheek over it. He took a deep breath and spoke once more.

“I wanted to draw you two together. Wasn’t sure how you would take that. Didn’t want to intrude.”

Aaron looked over and saw that Brian had rolled onto his back in his sleep.

“Tell you what, if you can be quiet doing it, I’ll make pancakes in the morning and depending on how I like it, I’ll buy it from you. Deal?”

Justin’s eyes widened and he nodded. Aaron moved around the bar and placed a gentle kiss on the younger man’s forehead, then moved back to the bedroom after rinsing his glass. He slipped off the jeans then crawled up on the bed, laying next to Brian. A couple of deep breaths later and Aaron fell asleep.


	3. Chapter Two

 

_ I know you don't get chance to take a break this often, I know your life is speeding and it isn't stopping, You take my shirt and just go ahead and wipe up all the, Sweat, sweat, sweat...by Daft Punk, Lose Yourself to Dance _

 

Aaron kept his promise to Brian and used him all night long after he woke again. In the early hours of the morning Aaron finally faded and fell asleep. When he surfaced again it was because his phone alarm had gone off. Getting up and turning it off, he pulled his jeans back on and went out to the kitchen. Setting his phone on the counter, he quietly rummaged around in the cupboards, finding everything he needed, Aaron went about making the promised pancakes. 

“I finished. If you want to look at them, that is.” Aaron wasn’t surprised when he heard Justin’s voice. Smiling to himself Aaron cleaned his hands off on a kitchen towel then took the drawing pad from Justin’s hand and sat down to look through them. 

Looking up at the younger man, Aaron tapped the table before standing and going back to cooking. 

“They’re beautiful.” Aaron had not expected what he had seen on the page. He had not thought about what Justin would see. He had worked through the emotions of the scars and who put them there, but it didn’t mean he liked to show them. 

“Thanks.” Aaron heard the smile in Justin’s voice. A hand on his shoulder had him turning just a little.

“You okay?”

“You saw the scars.” Aaron didn’t meet Justin’s eyes as he went back to cooking. “You made them beautiful.”

“Like I said, you’re beautiful.” Just leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed Aaron’s cheek. 

Aaron didn’t say anything as he finished up making the pancakes. After taking the bacon out of the oven, he then started to whip up a batch of eggs. His mind went over the pictures. The one of him going down on Brian, his back stretched out, his arms wrapped around Brian’s waist, the look on Brian’s face as he came. There was the one with Aaron on his stomach, an arm around Brian’s waist, a leg thrown over Brian’s as they slept. There were a couple of more and Aaron wondered if Justin was awake all night.

“Well, isn’t this domestic.” Aaron just shook his head at the sarcastic comment as Brian entered the kitchen. 

“Don’t flatter yourself thinking this was for you. I promised the kid.” Aaron turned and smiled at Justin. “I just happened to make enough for you.”

“For what?”

“Show him.”

Justin handed Brian the sketchpad while Aaron plated food for himself and Justin. 

“You want food, I’m sure you can serve yourself. Don’t worry, I always clean up after myself.” Aaron smirked at Brian as he leaned on the counter, eating. 

“You told him he could do these?”

“Yup,” Aaron popped the p for emphasis. “And I get first pick.”

Brian shrugged like he didn’t care, but Aaron saw the crack in the mask. After he left, though, Brian would just become a pleasant evening. He was more worried about Justin. 

“Not half bad.” Brian gave the sketchpad back to Justin, then he shuffled over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of coffee. Aaron watched him as he grabbed a plate and served himself some food. After a few bites Aaron saw his brows lift and the corner of his mouth turn up in an almost smile. “This isn’t half bad either. You don’t have to bother cleaning. I’ll do it.”

“Oh, I don’t want you to put yourself out.”

“It’s no trouble,” Brian ground out through clenched teeth. 

Aaron just chuckled and finished his food, He turned around and started to clean his plate and cup. He heard shuffling behind him, but didn’t turn to look. When a hand slid slowly down his back, Aaron shivered just so at the touch. 

“I didn’t see these last night.”

“That’s because I didn’t want you to.”

“Justin did.”

“Kid has an eye for detail. And, no I’m not going to talk about them.”

“Wasn’t going to ask.”

“Yeah, you were.”

Aaron was going to say more when there was a buzz coming from Brian’s intercom. The man walked over and leaned against the wall where the intercom was and pressed the answer button like it was an effort to do it.

“What?” Brian now sounded bored and upset all at the same time. Aaron had heard very few people that could pull off that aloof sound. 

“Uh, yeah, name’s Tony. I’m looking for my Boss.”

Brian turned bored eyes to Aaron and tilted his head just so.

“You know a Tony?”

“Yes, if he’s here it’s important.”

“Fine.” Brian leaned on the intercom and buzzed Tony in and gave him directions to the loft. A few moments later Tony was walking inside looking very put together. 

“Boss, we’ve been trying to get ahold of you. Dispatch alerted us that there is another one.”

Aaron sighed as he grabbed his shirt, socks and boots. Quickly pulling on the rest of his clothes, Aaron grabbed his wallet and walked over to Justin. He pointed to one of the pictures, gave Justin several bills, then a gentle kiss to his temple. 

“Thank you.” Aaron pulled out his badge and clipped it to his belt before he turned to Brian, gave him a kiss and smiled. “Enjoy the pancakes.”

“Wait, you made pancakes? Did you make your special fluffy ones?” Tony walked to the kitchen and saw the stack. “Ohh, I’m so taking one. And bacon. Alright, Boss. We have a crime scene to get to.”

“I’m sorry, did you say crime scene?” Brian frowned as he leaned against his counter. 

“Yes. I’m FBI.” Aaron enjoyed the startled looks on both Justin and Brian’s faces as he sauntered out of the apartment with Tony smirking at the two men before following Aaron.

It wasn’t until they reached street level did Tony give Aaron a very smug look. 

“Did you use the GPS to track me?”

“Oh, yeah we did. Have a good night boss?”

“My jacket still in your car?” Aaron glared at his agent.

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s do this.”

_______________________________

“That was the Governor. She wants us to step in and take over the investigation into these gay bashings. Locals aren’t going to like that. You going to be okay with that Tony?”

“Yeah, Boss. I’ll be fine. Those assholes can’t touch me.” Tony smiled.

“We’re going to have to go back to Liberty Street. Canvass the area, talk to the locals of the area, speak with some of the businesses. Someone saw something, we just need to know who, when, and where.

“Tony, Tara, you guys walk the streets, canvass the foot traffic. Agents Donovan and Michaels, I need you to start a door to door, Samuels, take this side of the street, Reid and I will take the other. Remember, there is a reason the Governor trusts us with this case. Anyone here have any homophobic leanings, I’ll personally see to it you never work this office again. I was put here to clean up this office and that is what is going to happen. Any of you have an issue, come see me before we head out.” 

Aaron walked briskly back to his office and put some of the files he had been going through away.

“Sir?”

“Yes, Samuels?”

The man walked into the office and looked at Aaron.

“I just want to say thank you. The previous Agent-in-Charge, he was a bastard and we all wanted him gone. I know there are problems in the Bureau, but for the most part Agents I’ve known have no problems with race or sexual orientation. All they cared about was catching the bad guy. Thank you for letting us do our job again.”

“It’s not a problem, Samuels. I know there are a lot of issues still to overcome, but in the months I’ve been here, you guys have done good work. All I ask is that you keep it up. Now. lets see if we can get anymore information.”

Aaron was about to walk out the door when his desk phone rang. He waved Samuels on while he took the phone call. Spencer was standing off to the side waiting for him. The call was short, and Aaron wasn’t quite sure how he wanted to deal with it. Grabbing his jacket, he walked out of his office.

“Everything okay?” Spencer asked as he fell in step with Aaron. 

“I’m not sure. A friend may be in trouble, that was a courtesy call. Listen, I’m going to swing by her house and see if she’s home before we start our canvass.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“Unfortunately, not. Come on.” Aaron led Spencer out of the office and to one of the Bureau SUV’s. He drove in silence through the streets of Pittsburgh, arriving at his destination a few minutes later. Walking up to the house, Aaron really didn’t want to do this, but he felt it fair his friend heard the news from him. He started to knock when a woman to the left called out.

“If you’re lookin’ for Mel and Linds, they aren’t home. Just left for the diner.”

Aaron lifted a brow and wondered at people that just gave out someone’s information like that. 

“And do you know what diner that is?”

“Oh, yeah it’s the Liberty Diner over on Liberty street.”

“Convenient,” Aaron said to himself, thanked the woman then headed back to the car.

“Everything okay?” Spencer asked as Aaron slid back in the driver’s seat.

“It never ceases to amaze me just how much some people will give out personal information of their neighbors.”

Aaron drove towards their destination. It was lucky that the place they were originally headed was the place that Melanie was going to be at. He also wondered at the fact that he was now on Liberty, one place that he swore he wouldn’t come down to, for the second time in as many days. Frowning he tightened his hands as he drove trying to come to terms with his issues with the predominantly gay area. 

“Hotch?” Spencer sensed his anxiety and Aaron knew he needed to try to relax. The night before he had been with Jackson and Tony, which eased his nervousness enough to let him let go for a while. But in the cold light of day, it brought back memories and things he would rather not think about.

“I’m okay, Reid. It’s just, when you’re bi, it’s like you don’t belong in either world. There’s this terrible push and pull. One side tells you that you aren’t gay enough and not allowed to have a relationship, the other side tries to force you to deny that you think about the same sex. You’re either ‘sitting on the fence’ or ‘haven’t really come out’. I gave up long ago trying to fit in. It still doesn’t make the prejudice on either side okay.”

“I’m sorry, Hotch. It never mattered to me. You’re a great boss, a better agent and someone I’m getting to know as a friend. Who you want to date is your business.”

Aaron smiled, but it didn’t really help much. He parked, pulled on Special Agent-in-Charge Aaron Hotchner around himself like the shield that it often was. 

“When we get to the diner I want you to give the profile to the others, I need to speak with Melanie if she’s there.”

“What’s going on here, Hotch?”

“It’s personal, Reid. A friend might be in trouble and I want to try to help her.”

Aaron was glad that Spencer didn’t ask too many more questions. The two saw their other teams canvassing where Aaron had directed them as they worked their side of the street till they got to the diner. Walking in Aaron scanned the room quickly, his eyes just grazing past Brian. 

“Anywhere you want, Honey.” A very brightly dressed woman with a big smile said.

“Actually I was told that Melanie Marcus would be here?”

“She’s right over there. What do you want with her?” Aaron lifted a brow as the woman’s voice turned slightly colder. 

“Aaron!” Justin called out from the counter. The young man smiled wide as they looked at each other. 

“Justin.”

“Mel is just over there, with the rest of the group.” Justin’s enthusiasm at seeing him almost made Aaron smile, almost. He had to tell himself he was on duty, this was a professional visit. 

“Justin, this is Dr. Reid. He’s the one I was talking to you about.”

Aaron could feel the glare aimed at his direction, but he chose to ignore it. 

“In fact we’re here on business. He’s going to be talking to everyone, giving out a profile and the reason for that profile. When he’s done, I’ll make a bigger announcement, but right now I really need to speak with Mel. Excuse me.” 

Aaron left Spencer with Justin as he walked over to the table where Brian and his friends were piled around. He noticed the frown on Brian’s face and it amused Aaron greatly that the arrogant, and aloof man was perturbed that Aaron wasn’t fawning all over him. 

“Agent Aaron, so  _ very  _ nice to see you,” Brian’s smirk was almost laughable, if Aaron hadn’t also noticed something else behind those eyes. He was also trying not to look at the baby boy that Brian was bouncing on his knee. The old pain flared up and Aaron had to try to tamp it down. This wasn’t the place to air his own personal sorrow.

“I’m not here on personal business.” Aaron turned to look at his friend, “Mel, I’m sorry to take you away, but I need to speak to you. It’s rather important.”

“Aaron, can’t this wait?”

“Not really.”

“Everyone, this is a friend and one time colleague, Aaron Hotchner. Aaron, at least meet my friends. Emmett, Michael, Ted, and this is my partner Lindsay.” Mel’s eyes softened when she looked at the boy in Brian’s arms. “And that is my son, Gus.”

Aaron shook hands and smiled at each of them. He had seen them the night before at Babylon. He only quickly looked at the baby, and tried not to get pissed off at Mel. He also knew a stalling tactic when he saw one.

“Mel.”

“Alright, alright. Come on, we can talk over here.” Mel stood and walked towards a smaller booth that was out of the way and quiet in the busy restaurant. He saw that Spencer and Justin were talking about...something, he wasn’t sure what, but then he handed Justin a card with his number on it. Spencer stood and walked to the front of the restaurant talking to several tables at once. He nodded to Spencer as he sat at the booth with Mel. He sat to where he could look around the diner and keep an eye on all exits.

“So, what brings Aaron Hotchner to this side of the Pitts.”

“Don’t give me that Mel. You know why I don’t come this way. And I’m not here on personal business, we actually do have Bureau business to handle. That isn’t what I needed to talk to you about, though.”

“Alright, just tell me.”

Aaron took a breath as he looked towards Lindsay and the baby.

“I got a call just before leaving the office. I have a friend at the Bar who will tell me when anything comes up. Often they need an impartial party to help them, and I’ve stayed active with them enough that they trust any arbitration I can give them.”

Mel visibly swallowed and leaned forward.

“Just tell me.”

“Mel, what the fuck were you thinking drawing up your own adoption papers? You aren’t a family or adoption lawyer. You don’t know the first thing about the legal issues surrounding adoptions. Plus, it’s a violation of ethics and a conflict of interest.”

“Aaron, it’s no big deal. I had one of the lawyers in the firm double check…”

“Stop. The state adoption board just got to your files. They saw the irregularity in the paperwork. There is a reason lawyers don’t do their own personal paperwork. I wouldn’t draw up my own will, I’d have someone like you do it.”

“Aaron, what are you telling me.”

Aaron leaned back and wiped his face as his eyes flicked to the baby. 

“You’re going to be investigated and it’s an almost certainty that the adoption will be invalid.”

“What the fucking hell?!” Mel almost yelled and several tables around them went deadly quiet. 

“I ask again, what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I wanted my son!”

“Don’t yell at me. I’m trying to help you. You need to contact Jackson, and don’t even try to represent yourself, Melanie. The Law review board isn’t going to be like a courtroom. This isn’t something you can talk your way out of.”

Mel slumped back in the booth and wiped her hands down her face. Aaron saw her trying to keep it together, but he knew this was probably killing her. 

“I didn’t think…”

“No, you didn’t. You are a better lawyer than this. I just don’t know what you were thinking.”

Mel turned to look at him with hard eyes that held too much emotion. 

“I was thinking about my son and his future. Not like you’d understand.”

Aaron thinned his lips and glared back at her. He turned almost deadly eyes on her as he reigned in the fury that bubbled up. 

“Call Jackson.” Aaron moved out from the booth and tried not to storm outside. He needed to calm down before he went back in there to give the stay safe spiel he had been giving at all the other businesses they had visited. 

“Aaron?” Aaron turned expecting to see Spencer, but it was actually Justin. 

“Go back inside, Justin.”

“What’s wrong? You look upset.”

“Yeah, Agent, what’s wrong?” Brian had come outside as well. He put an arm around Justin, and leaned against the boy. “Could it be this whatever it is with Mel?”

“Stay out of it, Brian. I just needed some air.”

“I think it’s more than that, isn’t it? You barely looked at Gus. Is it babies you don’t like? Or me?”

“Fuck off, Brian. You’re just angry that I didn’t fawn all over you the instant I saw you, or pine after you. Don’t worry, I’m not doing either.” 

Aaron looked off to the side and worked to get himself under control. A moment later Mel was running outside.

“Aaron. I am so sorry for what I said. It was cruel and I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, Mel you did. You wanted to hurt me and you knew just how to do it. This isn’t my fuck up, it’s yours. You need to get your arrogant pretty head out of that tight ass of yours and start using that brain I know you have. I have a rehearsed speech to give.” 

Aaron went back in the diner to give said speech while Mel, Justin and Brian stood on the sidewalk staring after him.

“What the hell was that about?” Brian turned to look at Mel.

“I said something I shouldn’t have. It’s not my story to tell, but you’re wrong. I heard what you said, and the problem is that he adores children.” Mel sighed and went back into the diner. She knew she was screwed, she just didn’t know how badly.

“Come on, I have to get back and finish my shift.” Justin was trying to work out what he could do for the Agent to thank him for inspiring him. He wanted to know more, and the fact that Brian was intrigued, even if he played being aloof, had Justin thinking. He walked back in, with Brian following after.

“....look, the profile you were given is just one of the parameters we are working with to try and find the perpetrator, or perpetrators that are attacking those in the community.” Aaron cleared his throat as he stood there, hands in his coat pocket, looking at everyone in the place. “I know you have no reason to trust me. You don’t know me, but I am going to do everything in my power to bring this person to justice. I do care, as do those in my office. The Governor herself asked me to take over this case. She knows my stance on Gay rights, hopefully all of you will too. If any of you has any problems with the local law enforcement do not hesitate to call my office. 

“Now, things I need from all of you to do my job, which is to protect you to the best of my ability. Please travel in groups. Don’t go out alone. If you go home with someone, let your friends, or someone you trust know. If you are out late, please call a cab and wait someplace safe, or call a friend. If a stranger is hostile, please don’t try to confront them on your own. And whatever you do, please do not try to take the law into your own hands. If you see something that doesn’t look right, call the locals, if they don’t help, call my office. 

“I know a lot of  you are scared, but I ask that you try and trust me and my team. Thank you.”

Aaron finished his speech, Spencer reiterated the profile, then they left. They had more places to canvass and give the same information to. The press conference he was going to hold would come later in the day, saying pretty much all of the same things he and his team were telling as many people in person as possible.

Getting back to the office later in the day, Aaron prepared for the conference, set-up the tip line, and touched base with the Pittsburgh Chief of Police. Even he was getting concerned by how many incidents of gay bashing there was happening. Aaron knew it for what it was. False concern because elections were coming up and he wanted to put up a good front. Aaron really hated politics.

“So, how’d it go?” Tony asked as he came into Aaron’s office and sat down.

“I think it went okay. The Chief of Police is going to cooperate for now.”

Tony snorted and shook his head.

“Of course he is, he’s afraid of losing in the next election.”

“Oh, I know this is all politics. If we don’t close this case, and soon, both the Governor and the Chief will rake me over the coals.”

“Hey, you have the best team in the world. You know we are behind you a hundred percent, Boss.”

“I know, thanks Tony.”

“Anytime. Spencer and I are going through all of the incident reports. I can’t believe the amount of corruption and willful disregard for the law. I hate that when we close this case, none of these asshole locals will get any reprimand for their prejudice.”

“I know. But, all we can do is work the case and find the pattern of corruption. Why don’t you and Tara handle that as a secondary investigation, but, keep it quiet.”

Tony’s grin held a little too much of a vindictive streak. Aaron knew how much he hated corruption in law enforcement, having been in the middle of incidents that had made him leave first Philadelphia, then Baltimore. Aaron was just happy that Tony had said yes to his offer first. He almost lost him to Gibbs and NIS.

“Will do, Boss.” Tony stood and went to his desk to get started on the dual investigations. Three  hours later, Aaron was back on Liberty Street, near the diner. It was a hot spot and a focal point of the community. It was the perfect place to give his press conference. He was asked to do it on the steps of the Pittsburgh PD, but Aaron just couldn’t bring himself to do that. Liberty street would make a bigger impact and make it clear that his office didn’t tolerate homophobia and prejudice.

Getting home, Aaron was exhausted, emotionally and mentally. He took a hot shower after putting his suit up and setting his shirt in the dry cleaning pile, the rest in his washing pile. He thought about the night before, Babylon, Brian, even Justin. It had been a pleasant evening, and Aaron could admit that he had needed something like it. After getting out of the shower, he dried off and wondered what to do with himself. Pulling on jeans and a comfortable shirt he padded out to his kitchen and scrounged up some dinner for himself. The silence of the apartment was getting to him.

Aaron knew it was probably a stupid thing for him to do, but he cleaned his plate, put on shoes and grabbed his jacket, and made his way out and back to Liberty Street.


	4. Chapter Three

 

 

_ Shout, Shout, Let it all out, These are the things I can do without, Come on, I'm talking to you _ _  
_ _ Come on, And when you've taken down your guard, If I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart, I'd really love to break your heart...by Tears for Fears, Shout _

 

Walking through Babylon he made his way to the bar. He could afford one drink. He ordered a beer, turned around and watched as male bodies danced and jumped around to the hard-pounding music. He knew of the backroom, but that had never been his scene. His night with Brian was a one-off for him. A way to release some of the tension he had been holding onto trying to get the Pittsburgh FBI office whipped into shape. 

“Oh honey, you look like you need to let loose a little.” 

Aaron turned his head and smiled at the younger man standing beside him.

“I’m just enjoying the view.”

“You were here last night, weren’t you?”

“I was. I have to admit that I was bored with myself tonight, decided to come back for some crazy, sadistic reason.”

The young man smiled.

“Sweetie aren’t we all ultimately bored with our own selves. I also saw you at the diner earlier. You really mean what you said?” the man turned to lean on the bar. Aaron looked him up and down, taking in the tight colorful pants, red button down that was on the feminine side, and a boa. Smiling he leaned in slightly towards the younger man.

“I do. But, I am not here to talk shop.”

“I’m Emmett.”

“Emmett, would you like to dance?”

“Oh, oh, you, you hunk of gorgeousness want to dance with me?”

Aaron laughed and Emmett made a little sound in the back of his throat that had him chuckling even more. 

“You do realize that smile is deadly. I mean, if you put your mind to it, I’m sure the bad guys would just melt right there at your feet.”

Aaron didn’t stop smiling. Emmett was quite the breath of fresh air. He followed the younger man to the dance floor and wrapped an arm around his waist and the other he laid on his hip.

“Well,” Emmet nervously laughed as Aaron danced with him, “You are good.”

“Yes, he certainly is.” Brian was there dancing next to Aaron and Emmett. 

“I thought you were a one and done kind of guy.”

“Still true.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Aaron turned back to Emmett and spun him making the other man laugh. He looked back at Brian who was glaring at him. 

“I need to talk to you.” 

“I’m not going to the backroom.”

Brian rolled his eyes and put on his bored look.

“I’m not asking you to.” Aaron was beginning to understand that the sarcastic tone in Brian’s voice was one of his defence mechanisms. 

“Emmett, I had fun.” Aaron kissed the younger man’s cheek making him squeak as he sashayed back into the crowd and danced with abandoned.

“I think you made his night.” 

The fond look on Brian’s face was a slip of the mask, and Aaron was even more intrigued by one Brian Kinney. 

“If you want to talk, not here.”

“The diner then.” Brian walked away and Aaron just shook his head. That man was an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a lifetime of pain. He walked through the crowd, then out the door and headed to the diner. He walked in and the same woman from earlier in the day was still there.

“Anywhere you want, honey.”

“Thank you.” Aaron walked to a booth, took off his jacket and slid in.

“Well, Mr. FBI guy. You know, you didn’t have to have that press conference down here.”

“Actually, I think I did.”

“Do your bosses know…”

“Do you ask all your customers about their orientation?” Aaron leaned back and looked the woman in the eye.

“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t assume that everyone who comes in here is gay or lesbian.”

“He’s bi, Deb.” Brian slid in across from Aaron. 

“Oh, well that’s alright too. What can I get you?” Aaron just shook his head, it wasn’t the first time he heard something similar. Almost like the person asking was disappointed in some way. That very attitude was what kept him from interacting with the community.

“Black coffee, and one of those lemon squares.”

Brian ordered coffee, then Deb turned and walked away.

“How did you know?”

Brian shrugged one shoulder as he leaned onto the table. 

“You look at both men and women. You have this little tell with your eyes when someone interests you. Saw it at the club last night, and again tonight.”

“There weren’t that many women there.”

“No, but one peaked your pretty little head, didn’t it.” Brian smirked and Aaron knew he was trying to make a crude reference about his dick. 

“I’m onto you Kinney. So cut the crap and the games, why did you want to talk to me.”

Brian sat back as Deb served their coffee’s and Aaron’s lemon square. He thanked the woman, who moved to go take care of some of the other tables.

“Make what’s happening with Mel go away.”

Aaron sipped his coffee and regarded Brian for a moment.

“I’m sorry. There isn’t anything that I can do.”

“It’s not right. She shouldn’t lose the adoption because of some error.”

Aaron pushed the plate into the middle of the table and pushed a fork over to Brian. The man, surprisingly took the fork and a bit of the treat. Silence reigned for a few minutes as Aaron was trying to think of a way to explain just how badly Mel had screwed up.

“She should have consulted an adoption lawyer. What she did was unethical and a conflict of interest. There is a reason lawyer’s don’t handle their own law needs. I hold my bar card as a prosecuting attorney and I have experience in family law. Mel is general counsel. She has no experience with adoptions. I wouldn’t represent myself if I was accused of a crime, I would seek someone who can defend me.”

“What’s the big difference?” Brian growled as he shoved away from from the table.

“You’re a smart man, Kinney. Even you should see the implications of what Mel did.” Aaron watched as too many emotions flitted across Brian’s face. He tilted his head down towards the table, playing with the coffee cup he appeared to be looking for the right words to say.

“You’re the father, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t going to sign them at first. Then shit happened and it was the best option at the time.”

“Actually it wasn’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

Aaron picked at the lemon bar as he took his time with what he wanted to say. 

“Mel and Lindsay are just a few months from common law. If they had waited, Mel could have done a step-parent adoption. There are a few states that recognize even same sex couples as common law couples. Believe it or not, there is a little known law in Pennsylvania that does recognize two cohabiting adults for seven years or more as a common law couple. I only know because of a case that came up when I first took over the Pittsburgh office. You could keep your status as the child’s father, and she could have opted for step-parent status. It still would afford her all of the rights and privileges as a normal legal parent.”

Aaron wished he could have eased the blow that he knew that information would bring. When Brian just laughed and shook his head, Aaron was seriously wondering about the man’s state of mind.

“Oh, that is just like her.”

“Honestly, I don’t think she knew. That’s another reason a lawyer doesn’t do their own personal affairs.”

“So what happens now?”

“She goes before a law review board. If she’s smart she’ll call my friend Jackson Grimes. We all went to school together. He’s damn good and her only hope of keeping her bar card.”

“And what can happen? How bad can it get?”

Aaron saw the subtle change in Brian. When it came to someone or something he cared about, he had it in him to be serious, to see the seriousness of the situation. Aaron still wasn’t sure if it was Mel herself, or some other reason he was worried, but it gave him further insight into the man.

“Worst case scenario is she could lose her card and be disbarred. The adoption invalidated, and all rights revert back to you and the birth mother. Best case scenario is suspension, taking ethics in law classes, retaking the bar and monitoring for a year. The adoption invalidated, but with a proper adoption lawyer, and all your options laid out, then it would be up to a Judge at that point.”

“Fuck.”

“Pretty much. She is going to have to be brutally honest why she did what she did and Jackson won’t let her get away with any bullshit. This isn’t something she can just file a motion on and get it over with. There will be an inquiry. But, if I know Jax, he will get her through this.”

Brian sipped his coffee and picked a little at the sweet treat.

“Something else you should know.”

“What?”

Aaron grinned as he sipped his coffee, drawing out the anticipation a little and making Brian watch him. The anticipation ramped up a little as Aaron took a bit of the lemon square.

“I bought the loft just under yours. And, don’t flatter yourself Kinney, I had put in a bid on it long before we met. I just got the news a few days ago that my bid was accepted, keys were delivered to me today.”

Brian raised a brow and let that sarcastic devil-may-care smile stretch across his lips as he leaned forward.

“And why should I care.” Brian leaned on the table almost like a challenge.

Aaron leaned forward across the table meeting that challenge.

“Oh, I think you do, and I think you are afraid to.”

The two men stared at each other, the heat and tension between them could almost be cut with a knife. Neither man noticed when someone approached the table.

“Wow, you two should just go somewhere and fuck it out. That’s some serious tension you got goin’ on.” 

Aaron smiled when Justin flopped into the booth next to Brian.

“Where were you earlier?”

Justin looked at the table and shrugged.

“Talking to Sap.”

Aaron saw it, hurt and a little anger in Brian’s eyes then it was gone, the hard mask of indifference firmly in place.

“So, still thinking about dancing I take it.”

“I need the money Brian.”

“I told you I would give it to you.”

Aaron watched the two argue as he finished his coffee. He had a good idea why Justin needed the money, and he had a solution if the two would hear him out. He bided his time as they both argued. They stopped only when Deb came over to refill his coffee.

“Hey Sunshine, what are you doing out this late, you have a shift in the morning.”

“I know Deb, I’ll be here.”

“Why don’t I take you home. I have an idea that just may solve your problem.” Aaron threw some money on the table and stood. He waited while Justin and Brian did their facial gymnastics, having a whole conversation with eyerolls and hand waves.

“Alright. You can take me home.” Justin’s tone was just this side of too sexual, but Aaron thought the boy couldn’t help it. He led Justin to his car and let the young man have his silence for a few minutes.

“My family runs a scholarship foundation. We have a benefit and awards ceremony every year and award five scholarships in ten different disciplines. The arts is one of the biggest and best. You should apply. In the meantime, I could use a part-time clerk. Nothing exciting, filing, helping input cold cases into the system. The office isn’t far and you get reimbursed for travel expenses. We can work around your school schedule.”

“What kind of pay?”

“12.50 an hour. You can just come in and fill out the paperwork. A quick background check and interview with my SIC.”

Aaron could tell that Justin was thinking about it as he fidgeted in his seat. Aaron pulled up in front of the building and let the engine idle for a moment.

“Do you want to come up and talk about it?” 

Aaron studied Justin for a moment, turned off the engine and nodded his head. His thoughts were flying apart trying to understand what the hell he was getting himself into. When they got out, he had an idea.

“Follow me,” he smiled at the confused look on Justin’s face. They walked to the building and instead of stopping on Brian’s floor, they stopped one below.

“What’s going on?”

Aaron didn’t say anything, just produced a key and opened the loft door in front of him. He had all of the amenities turned on earlier in the day. He had signed the paperwork a few days before, but with the hectic pace of the last few days he had not had a chance to come by.

“Wait, you bought this place?”

“Yes. It was weeks ago I put in the bid. Got the keys delivered to me today and have not had a chance to move in as of yet.”

Justin looked like he wanted to laugh as he walked the open area.

“What are you going to do with it?”

“I have a few ideas. I have a contractor coming over to start work on two bedrooms and rework the bathroom a little and do some add ons to the kitchen. Going to keep the rest of the loft open. I’ll move in, in the next couple of days and stay here while the construction goes on.”

Aaron watched as Justin walked around the empty loft. He went to the kitchen area and leaned against the sink. He knew Justin was trying to get his head together. He had a feeling Justin was trying to get through school on his own. Aaron hated the thought of him dancing at Babylon, and from the argument that Brian and Justin had at the diner, Brian had a problem with it as well. He wished he knew why he was letting himself get so involved in the lives of these two men so quickly. 

“Is that offer real?”

“Very.”

“And you’ll work around my school schedule?”

“Absolutely. If you want morning hours I can even drive you in once I’m moved in here.”

Justin’s smile as he moved quickly to where Aaron was standing was infectious. Before he knew what to do, Aaron had an armful of the young man, who was also kissing him. Aaron let Justin lead the kiss for a moment, then he was picking the boy up and setting him on the finished counter. Legs wrapped around Aaron’s waist. A few moments later, Aaron pulled back, and let his forehead fall on Justin’s.

“I...can’t.”

Justin cupped his cheeks with his hands.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Justin…”

“Please, stay.”

“Aren’t you involved with someone?”

“We have an understanding. Though, I think you are someone that can turn our world upside down just as much as we can yours. Don’t you want a little adventure in your life?”

“Oh, you and Brian are much more than an adventure. You’re a complicated mess.”

“Well, we all need to get messy every so often.”

The kiss this time was slower, with an underlying need that poured off of Justin. Aaron moved in closer, pulling Justin towards him enough that their cocks brushed up against one another, and Aaron could feel Justin’s arousal even through the jeans.

Aaron had no idea what he was doing, but he followed Justin back upstairs to Brian’s loft. He was gentle and the whole thing was achingly sweet. After he came and cleaned up, he wrapped his arms and legs around the younger man and held him close. Justin snuggled close and held onto Aaron. Aaron wondered about the affection he felt for Justin in so short a time, the young man had gotten to him. He wasn’t sure what it was, his youth, his infectious smile, or the insecurities hiding under the bold, confident demeanor. Aaron didn’t know, all he knew was, he was screwed.

 

Morning came too quickly, and when he felt another body in the bed he kept in the groan that wanted to spill out. It was Sunday. Aaron chuckled to himself and wondered how he could get so caught-up in just a day and a half. 

“Stop thinking so loud, you’re aggravating my headache.”

Aaron snorted as he opened his eyes to see Brian looking at him.

“Maybe you wouldn’t have a headache if you didn’t drink and do drugs, then fuck all night.”

Aaron slowly extricated himself from the octopus that was Justin and moved to sit-up on the bed. He wondered at Brian’s nonchalant attitude that he was in bed with his boyfriend and not one word of recrimination. Wiping his face he turned just enough to see Brian.

“Mind if I use your shower?”

“Be my guest.” Brian waved over towards the bathroom with the open glass shower. Aaron had no illusions on what that was about. Getting up he made his way over, not even trying to hide his nakedness. There was no point. Stepping under the hot water he let out a moan as the pounding water cascaded down his body. The opening and closing of the shower door should have surprised him, but it didn’t. 

“You can come to breakfast with us.”

Aaron opened his eyes to see Brian right there leaning back against the shower wall.

“And why would I want to do that? Maybe I want to go home and relax for awhile. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Tiplines are always a pain in the ass.”

“Meet the freaks. You know you want to.” Brian stepped closer and laid a hand on Aaron’s ass. “You’re hooked, and you know it.”

“I thought I was just a one night thing.” Aaron looked over his shoulder at Brian, watching the smug smile on his face.

“You had me, so that doesn’t count.”

Aaron laid an arm on the wall just above Brian’s head, leaning in close he was just a hairsbreadth from kissing Brian.

“Maybe I don’t want you to have me.”

Brian’s eyes travelled down Aaron’s body, a finger slowly slid down following the line of the water falling over Aaron’s skin. The finger continued down over Aaron’s chest, over firm abs, then over his hips, trailing over the pronounced V, and just touched at the curly hair surrounding the base of Aaron’s cock. The fact that Aaron’s cock twitched in response made it clear that he was turned on. It didn’t mean that he was going to fall at the feet of Brian Kinney. The man may be honest about who he was when it came to sex, but Aaron knew there was a lot more underneath. For some reason, some twisted, sadistic reason on his part, he was intrigued. Aaron wanted to peel back the layers of this complicated man and try to find the real Brian under all of the bravado he presents to the world. 

“Your cock tells me different.”

Aaron moved like he was going to press his lips to Brian’s.

“Luckily, unlike you, I don’t think with my cock.” Aaron matched Brian’s smug smile as he pulled back and turned around finishing up the shower. When he got out of the shower he turned and looked at the man still in there and liked the confused look on his face.

“I have to go back to my place and change. I’ll see you at the diner.”

Aaron walked out to the living room where his clothes were scattered around. He slipped them back on and turned to see Justin just waking up, smiling at him.

“Where you going?”

Aaron moved back into the bedroom and sat next to Justin. He lightly brushed the bangs out of Justin’s face.

“Home to change, then I’ve been invited to meet your friends.”

Justin furrowed his brows as he looked between Aaron and Brian.

“Huh. Well then, I guess we’ll see you there.”

Aaron leaned down and kissed Justin, “Looking forward to it.” After checking his pockets, Aaron didn’t look back as he left the loft. Taking his phone out of his pocket, Aaron called Tony and told him to meet at the diner, he wanted to introduce Justin to Tony. The two of them had a lot in common and Aaron had a feeling that they just might be good for each other. Stopping at home he changed into something more appropriate, then headed back out. 

Getting back into his car he was thinking about all the things he needed to get done for the move. The contractor was coming by that afternoon to lay out the plans Aaron wanted for the loft. He had calls to make to have certain pieces from his parents house transported to the loft. The rolltop desk, several of the bookcases, a coffee table and some other things he wanted. Sean hadn’t wanted anything from the house except the items from his own bedroom. They had already been transferred to a storage unit for him. Aaron toyed once again with just selling many of the antiques, and the house. He didn’t know why he was holding onto it so hard. If he did the money would go into the foundation. His mother had moved out a long time ago and had her own house with her business. Aaron admired his mother and what she had done to get him and Sean away from their father. He would have to call her and see if she wanted anything, then he was going to put the place on the market.

Pulling out of his thoughts, Aaron found parking on the street, stepped out and took a moment to himself. He looked around and still felt apart from this community. He was again wondering to himself why he was here. Why was he getting himself involved? 

Aaron remembered growing up and having no place to go to, no one he could talk to. When the first Gay and Lesbian Teen center was established a couple of towns over from Manassas, Virginia he had tried to go there and talk to the people there. There were two things that were immediately against him. He was a rich boy, and he knew he liked both boys and girls. The experience had been humiliating. 

“Hey, Aaron, right?” Aaron looked up and saw the young man that he had danced with the night before.

“Yes, it is. And I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.”

“Emmett Honeycutt at your service.” Emmett’s smile was infectious and Aaron couldn’t help it when his own mouth turned up at the corners. 

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Emmett.”

“So, where ya’ goin’?”

“The diner. I was sort of invited by Brian.”

Emmett stood there blinking rapidly at Aaron. 

“Well, this is a first. Come on honey, I’ll introduce you to our little Island of Misfit Toys.” Aaron laughed as Emmett took his arm and led him into the diner. “I know I shouldn’t pry, but I’m going to anyway. You looked like you were thinking pretty hard back there. If you ever need a shoulder, you can just give little ole’ Emmett a call.”

Aaron couldn’t help but be charmed by the flamboyant, but very sweet young man. 

“I will keep that in mind.”

“You know, outside the very hot, and very expensive suit, you’re so different. I bet you’re a beast when you really let yourself go.” 

“Sorry to disappoint. I’m not that exciting. Some sports, I do triathlons, read. Get pulled out by Jackson on occasion. Friday was very much out of my comfort zone.”

“Well, if you leave it to me honey, you’ll be partying like the rest of us.” Emmett smiled at the laugh that Aaron let out. “On second thought though, it might be a little unseemly for someone in your position. Though it could be fun.” 

“Emmett, you are a breath of fresh air.” Aaron squeezed his arm as they took the last couple of steps to the diner. As they were going to open the door someone else was there opening it for them.

“Tony! Right on time. Emmett, this is Tony DiNozzo, one of my agents.”

“Mmm, and a dreamboat.” Emmett left Aaron and took Tony by the shoulders as they all walked in together.

Aaron’s eyes sought out Brian, who was leaning back in a booth with Justin leaning against him. He also had the baby in his arms.  Their eyes met for just a moment, Brian almost challenging him, then he was moving towards the booth. 

“And the man of the hour. I was telling them all about how you bought the loft under me.”

Aaron had never met anyone in his life who could make almost every sentence that came out of his mouth sound sexual in some way. Before he could even think, Brian was pushing Justin out, telling the boy to sit on the other side. Again, Aaron knew it for the challenge it was. Brian wanted to see if he would sit down next to him with the baby in his arms. The two women in the booth were silent as they watched the little power play going on. 

Aaron slid in, then smiled at Mel.

“Hello, Mel.”

“Aaron. Look, I’m sorry about what I said. I know none of this is your fault. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I called Jax and we’re going to meet tomorrow.”

“Good. You know I’d help if I could, but…”

“I understand. I’d like you to officially meet my partner, Lindsay Peterson.” 

Aaron smiled as he reached across the table.

“Lindsay, nice to meet you in person.”

“Mel has told me a lot of stories about you, her, and Jackson when you were in Law School. Are even half of them true?” 

“Depends on what she told you. If it was that I was the stereotypical nerd who camped out at the campus library all the time, then yes, they are all true.” 

Everyone laughed, even Brian. 

“And that’s Gus.”

Aaron turned to look at the baby and that little stab of pain hit him. He wondered if he would ever get over it, or if it would always be there. 

“He’s beautiful.”

“Want to hold him?” Brian smirked as he held the baby out. Aaron swallowed hard, then took Gus into his arms. He pushed down the emotions as little Gus cooed and smiled up at him. When he looked up Mel looked shocked. She tried to cover it, but Aaron had seen.

“You know, he would have been five last month.” Aaron said then looked back down at the baby. “I don’t know if you know just how lucky you are.” Aaron looked up again and he didn’t know what it was on his face that had Lindsay reaching over and taking the baby back. 

“Mel said something happened. She didn’t tell me, but whatever it was I’m sorry.” 

Before Aaron could respond Deb walked over.

“Well, you keep comin’ in like this Mr. FBI, they just might keep you, ya’ know.” Aaron shook his head and didn’t stop the smile he gave to the eccentric woman. “What can I get ya’.”

“Coffee. And how about just some scrambled eggs, bacon, sourdough toast, and hash browns. And, whatever Tony back there is having, put on my bill.”

“Gotcha’, Honey. Be right up in a min.”

Aaron took his time as he looked down at the table a moment. Justin was watching him intently, he felt Brian’s stare, that half-bored, half-curious expression Aaron could picture in his head. 

“Haley and I had been together before college. When I got accepted to Law School, we broke-up. She said we should have the full college experience. I got the chance to explore that side of myself I had been denying for so long. I had a couple of relationships, one was long-term, but eventually it ended. Then, after graduating, Haley and I got back together. She got pregnant, and I got a job at the prosecutor’s office. In her second trimester, she developed gestational diabetes. We had to watch everything she did and ate. She ended up in the hospital at the beginning of her third trimester because the stress of having to be careful caused her to have preeclampsia. They tried to keep the baby in her as long as possible. When they couldn’t do anything more, everything went wrong. Haley died, and Jack only lived for a day.” Aaron felt the moisture in his eyes, but didn’t let it leak out. “I got to hold him once, even got to name him. A week later I had to bury both.”

Aaron turned to look at Brian who, for once, didn’t make a crude remark.

“That must have been devastating.”

Aaron turned to Justin who he could see wanted to reach out to him.

“I crawled into a bottle. Stayed there for a few months. Almost lost an important case and it was Jackson and his then partner Victor that pulled me back out. I’ve been able to get over Haley, but Jack...that doesn’t ever seem to heal.”

“I don’t think I could ever get over it if something happened to Gus.” Lindsay held her son closer and Aaron could see the compassion on her face.

Coffee and food arrived, and they all tucked into their breakfasts. Aaron took the time to get himself back under control.

“So, did you really buy the loft under Brian’s?” Mel asked as she popped a grape in her mouth.

“I had put a bid in a few weeks ago. I got the call last week. Now, I just have to see a contractor for some work I want done on it, then having some furniture shipped from Virginia.”

“What are you, some millionaire?” Brian’s tone was meant to get a rise out of Aaron. After taking a bite of bacon he turned to look and smirked at him. “No! You’re shitting me. You’re some fucking millionaire?”

“Oh, yes he is. So is Jackson.” Mel was enjoying the look on Brian’s face.

“Justin here should apply for the scholarship program.” Aaron stared at the younger man till he averted his eyes to look at the table.

“You can’t guarantee I’ll even get one.”

“No. I can’t. It’s in the foundation by laws that neither me nor my brother be involved in the selection process. But, Justin, your work is exceptional. I don’t see how you wouldn’t get one. A portfolio submission and an essay is all you need along with the application.”

“My father…”

“Screw your father. It doesn’t matter how much he makes. The Malcolm Hotchner Foundation chooses solely on merit. We have a separate selection process for hardships. Just...at least think about it. And, maybe talk to Tony. He more than anyone will know what you are going through.”

Justin looked up at the man who was joking and laughing with Emmett. Aaron wondered what Tony did, but the smile on Justin’s face was worth whatever his friend was doing behind his back. 

“Alright, alright I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now, I have to go. Contractor is coming by to look at the loft and we are going to get some plans sketched out. It was nice to meet you Lindsay. And...don’t take any moment with Gus for granted.”

“I won’t. Was nice to meet you too Aaron.”

Aaron stood and set money on the table for his and Tony’s meals, said a few words to Tony, clasped Justin on the shoulder, then walked out of the diner before he could get stopped by Debbie. He knew if he got caught by her, if would be a while before he got out of there. Walking back to his car, Aaron was lost in his thoughts. When his name was being called, he almost ignored it, but he turned around to see Brian. 

“Look, I’m an asshole.”

“Am I supposed to refute that?”

Brian looked off to the side, then back at Aaron. 

“Absolutely not. Can’t ruin my perfectly terrible reputation, now can I?”

Aaron stepped closer and itched to reach out to the man. Instead he settled for putting his hands in his pockets. 

“No. I guess we can’t have that. But, I think behind the masks, the bravado, the smoking and drugs, and fucking everything in sight, is a man who cares more than he wants people to know. You know I could stand here and profile you and you’d protest, or get angry with me because I would be right. I’m not going to do that. I don’t know why, but a dark sadistic part of myself somehow likes you. You may be an asshole, but you are honest, except when it comes to yourself.”

“You say the sweetest things don’t you? I don’t...fucking hell.” Brian looked down at his hands and Aaron could tell that he was contemplating something. Something that may even be uncharacteristic for him. He waited patiently. If there was one thing that the FBI had taught him, it was that patience always paid off. “You were right this morning. One and done, that’s who I am. But, hell I want to see you again.” 

Aaron leaned against his car and crossed his feet. He looked around him a moment and contemplated what Brian was saying. He knew if he took that step that Brian was offering, his world could turn upside down. Was he ready for a complicated whatever it would be with Brian? Did he have it in him to take that chance? Looking up he saw the patient look on the man’s face, which he had a feeling wasn’t like him at all. 

“Let me take you to dinner. Tonight, Bella Sera Trattoria at 8:00.”

“Well, that sounds nice and all but I’m sure even you can’t get into the hottest Italian restaurant in Pittsburgh at such short notice. And, I don’t really do dates.”

“Oh, it’s not a date. Just two men going out to eat. And don’t worry. I have a permanent table there. I know the chef personally.”

Brian furrowed his brow and looked like he didn’t believe Aaron. 

“Fine. This should be interesting.” 

“Yes, it should.” Aaron stood and grabbed Brian’s jacket and pulled the man close. He pressed his lips to Brian’s in a quick semi-chaste kiss. “Very interesting.”

Aaron let him go then got into his car and drove off. 


	5. Chapter Four

 

_ Under neon lights, Under neon lights, Got no husband, Got no wife, All I want, All I want, All I want, Is this really all I want?...Eye to eye, face to face, I guess this is Heaven, Got no pride, got no name, I guess this is Heaven, I guess I'm in Heaven....by The Chemical Brothers, Under Neon Lights _

 

Brian stood on the sidewalk and wondered just what the hell had happened. He walked back to the diner and slid back into the booth across from Mel and Linds when Michael came in and plopped down next to him. 

“What’s with you?” Michael asked.

“I have no idea what the fuck just happened.”

“You? You always know what’s going on.”

“Well not this time, obviously Mikey.”

Lindsay was trying not to laugh watching Brian trying to figure out whatever it was that had just happened outside.

“Well, Brian, what happened?”

“I got asked on a fucking date is what happened.” Brian stared straight ahead, not really looking at anyone or anything. 

“You said no, right?”

“No, that’s the problem. I think I said yes.”

“Oh my god. Aaron has you all turned around now, doesn’t he. See, the thing you have to understand about Aaron Hotchner, is he’s very, very good at his job. He took profiling classes, has a BS in Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, and Criminal Justice along with a JD in Law. He never let anyone get away with anything. And the FBI? Well, they just honed those innate abilities of his.” 

“In other words, he can see through your bullshit,” Tony had called out from the other booth. “You should see him in an interrogation. God, it’s fucking hot.”

Four sets of eyes turned to look at the man behind them. 

“What? We had an on-again, off-again kinda thing for a while. We realised we were better friends. Doesn’t mean that I can’t still get hard watching him take apart a bad guy with just his very presence.”

Justin laughed, which made some of the others laugh as well.

“He’s not wrong. There was this one moot court session that after he was done with the witness I think he had more than half the class wanting to fuck him right there and then. Aaron in court is a thing of fucking beauty,” Mel smirked as she took Gus and held him.

“Great. Maybe I can take him apart a different way.” Brian sipped his coffee and started to actually anticipate the evening. “If going on this ‘date’ will get the man out of my system, well then I guess I’ll just have to sacrifice myself. Once I fuck him, then I can say Fait accompli, and that will be that, .”

Of course that was what Brian hoped would happen. With Aaron living below him, he had no idea how that was going to work. Justin was already infatuated with the man, and Brian could admit that he was just a little jealous of that. 

_______________________

Monday came and Aaron was pounding on the door to Brian’s loft. He waited a moment to see if it would open, then he pounded again. He wondered if Brian and Justin went out to Babylon after their not date, date. He couldn’t help smiling to himself when Brian walked in and was seated a few moments later at the table. When Piero came out and kissed Aaron on both cheeks, a flare of jealousy was in Brian’s eyes. Aaron liked that, a lot. 

_ “You really do know the chef.” _

_ “He was one of those failed college relationships. He’s also giving my little brother a chance as a sous chef. So far, it’s working out well. Maybe if we play our cards right, we can get a night at the chef’s table.” _

_ Brian looked suitably impressed. He didn’t even try to hide it. _

_ “Maybe I should become a kept man. Privilege seems to pay off.” _

_ Aaron just smiled as a waiter came by and he ordered a bottle of wine as well as an appetizer for the two of them. Before he finished an under waiter came over and presented them with an amuse bouche compliments of Piero. Dinner eased away from the snarky comments to a real conversation. Aaron always knew how to pull things out of people without trying, and he suspected that Brian never really had someone, other than Justin, who cared enough to actually listen to him. They eased into a great conversation about anything and everything. By the time they had espresso’s and a small trio of desserts to share, something had changed. Whatever it was, Aaron was cautious. He’s had his heart broken more than once, and this situation he knew could end in disaster, or something completely profound.  _

“Who the hell is pounding on my door at five-fucking-thirty in the morning?” Brian slid the door open and gaped at Aaron. 

“One of those for me?” Brian pointed to the coffee’s Aaron was holding in his hands. “Because if you are here at this ungodly hour you better have some caffeine for me.”

“Out late I take it.”

“How’d you guess.” The sarcastic smirk on Brian’s face had Aaron actually laughing where most people would be pissed or deterred. 

“Here. Thought you might like a red eye. And in the bag are homemade breakfast sandwiches.” Aaron pushed inside and walked to the kitchen and set the food and coffee’s down. He turned and went to the bedroom, smacked Justin on the ass to wake him up. “Come on, Sunshine. Get up and get dressed. We have work to do.”

Justin whined as he rolled in bed and looked up at Aaron. 

“It’s…”

“Five-fucking-thirty in the morning? Yes, I am well aware. Now, get up. We have a lot to do at the office.”

“I have to be at the diner by ten. And classes by 2.”

“I know. Today will be all about getting you vetted, and showing you around, setting your hours, getting your badge and showing you where you are going to be working.”

“You are a sadist.” Justin rolled out of bed, not caring he was naked, and went to the bathroom. Aaron went back to the kitchen and saw that Brian was eating.

“Not half-bad. And not full of fat and cholesterol.”

“Nope. Though I do indulge in bacon on the weekends. Avocado, egg whites, goat cheese and a whole grain bread. There is some fruit cups, and caramelized tomatoes in there as well.”

“Seems little brother is not the only chef in the family.” 

Aaron sat at the bar, grabbed his coffee and a sandwich, with a cup of the fruit and the tomatoes. 

“We could often be found in the kitchen back home. Our chef would indulge in teaching us all kinds of things. I can make a mean quiche. If I get really adventurous I can put together a chocolate cake that would have you thinking you just came in your pants,” Aaron purred as Brian leaned in towards him. 

“I don’t eat cake.”

“Everyone eats cake. After my place is finished, you and Justin should come to dinner. I’ll make a pasta bolognese you’ll never forget.”

Brian picked at the fruit cup that he pulled out as he leaned in a little more. The two men were almost close enough to kiss. Aaron knew it for the game that it was, and he could say that he was enjoying it. 

“Well, are we going or what?” 

Aaron turned his head to look at Justin.

“You at least look professional. Here, food and coffee. You can drink the coffee on the way, but no eating in my car.”

“Fuck, you sound just like Brian.”

“Something we have in common then.”

“Whatever.” Justin grabbed his coat and slipped it on, then his bag. Aaron stood, grabbed the coffees and the food and took Brian by surprise by kissing him on the side of the mouth. 

“Kid has no idea about cars does he.”

“Doesn’t appreciate them unless they go fast.”

“Hmm...we’ll see.” Aaron pulled away and slapped the bag against Justin’s chest for him to take then the two were out the door and soon driving away. 

A few minutes into the drive, Aaron could almost feel that Justin wanted to say something. 

“I know what you’re doing, you know.”

“Do you?” Aaron side eyed the younger man.

“You see through all his bullshit. I do too. He’s never going to be completely faithful. At least, he’s not ready to. But, I don’t know how you’re doing it, you’ve gotten to him. Even if you let him fuck you, I don’t believe he’ll stay away.”

“In other words, Brian will want some weird quasi relationship while he figures out that he has some more growing up to do to leave all the drugs, sex, and partying behind him. That you love him and want to protect him.”

Justin sipped his coffee as Aaron sped through the streets of Pittsburgh towards the FBI offices. 

“I do love him. Not that he’ll ever say it back.”

“Justin, if you want….”

“Stop. I love Brain, I don’t own him. As much as we mean to each other, I think you could mean something too. I think you could get through to him in a way that I can’t. Just don’t expect fast miracles. That’s not how he works.”

Aaron was amused by the fact that an eighteen year old was giving him advice on how to read people. He had already pegged much of what Brian was. He knew he would have to be patient if this was what he really wanted. He had only known the two men for three days, but those three days had changed him. 

“Listen. I know it bothers a lot of people in the community that I’m bi. I need to know, before this goes even further, if it bothers you.”

“I don’t care. So you like to look at and fuck women as much as you do men. Why should I get upset at where you want to stick your dick.”

“Okay, duly noted.” Aaron took a sip of his coffee and knew he liked Justin more than was probably healthy for him. Hell he had taken the younger man to bed. While his colleagues didn’t give a shit, if the higher-ups at the Bureau knew he had bedded, and wanted to bed again, an eighteen year old, his career could be turned upside down. Of course they didn’t need to know what he did once he left work, that was his private business.

“Justin, when we get to the office, there is one thing you should know about me. I’m a very different person once I step through those doors. Some days you won’t like me. I’m a hard man, and no that isn’t a veiled reference to my cock.” Justin just raised his brows and tried not to laugh. “I ride my team...you know what? It doesn’t matter. Just, I can be an asshole in the office. You will also see case boards, some we call murder boards. They are active, ongoing investigations. We also have a room with all of the case files and notes from the current wave of bashings. I need to know if you are going to be okay with that.”

Justin frowned as he turned to look at Aaron. 

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”

Aaron gripped the wheel tight as he turned into the parking garage, his face a stone mask. 

“Because your file is there as well. I didn’t know until Saturday morning when we got the files from Pittsburgh PD. I wasn’t going to bring it up, but we have reason to believe that your case was the catalyst. We just don’t know why. Nothing we discuss inside those rooms leaves those rooms. I just wanted you to know, and I also want you to know that we are taking this very seriously.”

Justin looked down at his coffee cup and sighed.

“Thank you. For telling me. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

“If it gets to be too much, we have some good people that you can talk to. Sometimes it’s good to get things off our mind, and a stranger, or someone impartial may help in ways that those who love us, can’t.”

“A shrink?”

“Psychologists trained to deal with trauma and PTSD. We all need help sometimes, it’s not a sign of weakness. But, I won’t push, just know you would have someone to listen if that is all you need.”

Justin just nodded as they got out of the car and walked to the elevator. Aaron showed him the desk that he would be using, which was just outside his office. Aaron put his things down, then gathered up all the paperwork that Justin would need to fill out. As soon as Mallory arrived Aaron would have her show Justin the ropes. 

Settling at his desk, Aaron started to get working on some of the files that had piled up. Expense reports, budgets, assignments, new cases, custodial inquiries, and more. Running an office took a lot of paperwork. When he finally came up for air, and to get a cup of fresh coffee, he saw Justin wasn’t at his desk. Grabbing his cup, Aaron made his way to the small kitchen to see that a fresh pot had been made. He walked back to the main bullpen, but didn’t see Justin there. Aaron had not told him that he couldn’t walk around. He was going to give him a tour anyway later. Letting his instincts lead him, Aaron found the young man standing in front of the caseboards for the bashing cases. 

“Somehow it wasn’t fully real, in my head. It’s like I remember it through what others told me. I see it, in my mind, but its like…” Justin’s shoulders slumped as he pulled out a chair and sat. Aaron moved fully into the room and sat at the table across from him.

“Like its a dream that’s too real, but you can’t connect to it. You know it happened, you live with the reality every day of the aftermath, but your emotions won’t let you  _ feel  _ it.”

Justin looked over at Aaron then back at the caseboard.

“Yes, exactly.”

“It’s called disassociation. Happens to a lot of trauma victims. It’s a way to protect yourself, a way to distance yourself from the incident. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Let’s you heal physically, and mentally. Gives you time to learn to deal with whatever happened. But, there’s a consequence for staying disassociated.”

Aaron turned to look at the board for a moment, giving Justin time to think.

“What is it?”

“If you don’t connect emotionally to what happened to you, Justin, it will come back. Maybe not now, maybe not for a long time, and maybe tomorrow. You don’t know when, but those emotions of anger, pain, hatred, helplessness, all of that will hit you and when it does that is the potential for lashing out, or finding an unhealthy outlet.”

Justin continued to stare at his photo on the board as he stood and walked towards it. Gently he touched the picture, read all the notes that had been made and stood there for a few moments. Aaron let him, he knew Justin needed this. He needed to see it and hopefully to feel it. Ignoring what happened wasn’t going to make it go away.

“How do you do it?” Justin turned and furrowed his brow, his lips set in a grim line. “How do you come in here and look at all these faces, knowing you couldn’t do anything to stop it at the time? How can you look at all these people and not let it drive you crazy?”

Aaron stood and walked over to the caseboard. He closed his eyes and started talking.

“Paul Sanderson, Anton Walker, William Banes, Silas Carpenter…” On he went naming all of the victims. “And, Justin Taylor.” Aaron opened his eyes and pointed to the caseboard while he looked at Justin. “I do this for them. To find the person doing this and bring them justice. I know you didn’t get the justice you deserved. The Judge, let’s just say I don’t have a lot of respect for him. Mel did a commendable job, but it wasn’t enough. I want justice for all of these victims.”

“How do I find closure? I didn’t get closure. Not really.”

Aaron led Justin back to the table and sat him down, with Aaron next to him. He turned Justin to look at him while he leaned forward and looked him in the eye.

“We could use your help. There is a real possibility that the person doing this was the person that attacked you. I want you, if you are willing, to tell me about that night.”

“Like I said…”

“There is a technique we use to help victims and witnesses try to remember what happened. In their own words. Nothing you say would leave this room, and we stop any time you feel uncomfortable.”

“What would I have to do?”

“You would close your eyes and focus on that night. I’ll walk you through a series of questions, let you try to see it, feel it, talk it out. I’ll take your hands and if at any time you feel stressed or uncomfortable just squeeze them, okay? ”

Justin licked his dry lips, looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. 

“Alright. I’ll try.”

“Okay, close your eyes and I want you to think about earlier in the day. Tell me what you were thinking, feeling.”

Justin smiled and Aaron reached out taking Justin’s hands loosely with his.

“Daphne had come over, we were just talking, playing around. I felt good, happy even. We had dinner with Mom and Dad. Then I got dressed, Daphne went to her house to change. She then came to pick me up. Mom took a million pictures.” Justin laughed as he held Aaron’s hands loosely. 

“Mom’s always do that.” Aaron chuckled along with Justin.

“We got to the school and I was a little nervous, but I just said fuck them. Who cares what the fuck they think. I am who I am and I can’t change that. I went and got Daph a drink, the band started playing some bumping music and we started to dance. It was nice.” 

“Sounds like it was. Prom’s are a mixed bag. What were you feeling?”

“Relaxed. I was happy, but disappointed Brian hadn’t shown up. I thought it was a foolish wish. I set it aside and decided to have fun anyway.”

“So, you were dancing to what was being played, having fun. No one bothered you or tried to come up to you?”

Justin swallowed, but stayed relaxed. 

“No. Everyone just stayed a little bit away from me, but I wasn’t there for them. I was there for Daph, and I guess for me as well. Right of passage and all that bullshit.” Justin chuckled, but squeezed Aaron’s hands.

“Justin, what’s happening?”

“The music, changed and I couldn’t believe it. There was Brian. He looked so gorgeous in a tux. If I could have I would have dropped to my knees right there in front of everyone and totally sucked him off. He was hot.”

Aaron tried not to laugh, but Justin’s descriptions had him almost breaking character.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“The music was some sappy 80’s song, the lights had dimmed a little and everyone moved back around us when we started to dance. Brian is an amazing dancer. It was…” Justin started to shake a little and Aaron saw a tear slide down his face. “It was like a dream. I forgot about the people around me, and only saw Brian. When it was over we walked out to his car.”

Justin’s breathing shallowed, and his hands shook some more. Aaron gripped them tight and and held on. 

“What happened, Justin?”

“Brian pulled me close, kissed me. It was like the best kiss ever. He wrapped his scarf around my neck, then let me go. I was floating on air as I started back towards the dance. Then out of nowhere…” Justin gripped Aaron’s hands even tighter. His eyes screwed shut and his breathing became erratic. 

“Justin, you’re safe, okay? You’re safe. You’re in the FBI, and we are just talking. No one is going to hurt you. I need you to take a deep breath. That’s it, now slowly let it out.” Aaron had Justin do that a few times, then the boy relaxed more. 

“Hobbs, he came at me, Brain screamed my name but he was too far away. I felt the...the bat and I don’t remember anything else. Next thing I know I’m waking up in the hospital.”

“Slowly open your eyes and look at me.” Justin swallowed and did as Aaron said. “I know you didn’t get justice. And, I know about you and Hobbs, it should not have been used against you in court. If the Judge had done his job, we wouldn’t be here trying to work this case. But, I promise you, I will get justice for all of these people.”

The tears fell and Aaron knew the dam was breaking. That part of Justin that he had tried to put away, that his mind tried to forget had broken free. Aaron pulled the younger man closer and hugged him. To anyone in the office it was just Aaron comforting a victim. Many people had seen him do it on more than one occasion. But the few that knew him well would see if for what it was. Aaron cared for the young man, maybe more than was healthy for him. He let Justin purge as he came to terms with what had happened to him. When Justin pulled away, Aaron grabbed the box of tissues and gently wiped at Justin’s face. 

“He almost took my art away from me. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t found other ways to draw, to paint.”

“I think you would have eventually dealt with all of this, then tried to find something new, something different to do. It might not have been the same, but it would have been something.”

Justin looked down at his hand, flexing it and took a few deep breaths.

“I almost quit because of this. But, I can’t.”

Aaron smiled and nodded a moment.

“No, you can’t quit. To quit would be to let him win, and I know you won’t let him win.”

“Thank you. I know that’s not enough, but thank you.”

Aaron knew the young man had a long way to go, but he was starting somewhere, and that was what mattered. 

“Now, how about we get back to work?” Normalcy, Aaron knew, helped a lot of victims work through what happened to them. He had a feeling doing something normal would help Justin. 

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.”

____________________________

Aaron looked around his loft and loved the new additions. The bedrooms fit very well with the rest of the space. There was still some work to be done in the kitchen to what he wanted, but for the most part everything was near completed. The furniture had arrived two weeks prior and Aaron had to store some of it for a while, while other pieces could be brought in. 

Once that had been done, Aaron had been able to catalog what it was he needed, couch, chair, and a few other pieces filled out the rest of the space. Even after the bedrooms had been built, there was still a great open space feel to the rest of the place. The bookshelves blended well with the brick and exposed ceilings. 

Lounging on the couch after putting the files from the case away, Aaron was trying to let his thoughts go by burying himself in one of his beloved spy novels. He was frustrated. He was almost certain that these bashings were being done by Hobbs, but the problem was he had no proof, no evidence, no eye-witnesses, and none of the victims had seen the Unsub’s face.

It was Friday and if he had it in him he would wander upstairs to see what was going on with Brian and Justin. Time had gotten away from him and now it was almost a month since he had met the two, giving Justin a job and introduced him to Cherise, the resident psychologist for his office. She was young, vibrant and had a very approachable demeanor. It didn’t hurt that in her spare time, Cherise was a ceramic artist. In fact, Aaron had several of her pieces around the loft, as well as some pieces from the house. There was still furniture, art and other things at the house that he needed to find out if Sean or his Mother wanted and if they didn’t he thought about maybe selling what was left of the art through Lindsey. 

The furniture would be appraised by a local antiques dealer and sold off in one lot, he hoped. Then the house put up for sale. It was time. Time to cut everything that was his father’s out of his life. 

The knock on his door was unexpected and Aaron rolled off the couch to see who was there. 

“Yes?’

“Hey, it’s me. Let me in.”

Aaron smiled to himself at hearing Jackson’s voice. They had not had much time to spend with each other over the last few weeks as he had been busy with Lindsey and Mel, and Aaron had been hip deep in the bashings case.

Opening the door he was startled to see Tony and Spencer as well.

“I could say that this is a conspiracy to get me out of my loft, by the looks of the three of you.”

“Well, Hotch, you have been kind of holed up in here for the last couple of weeks. I called Jackson. Especially after you scared off the new intern, and I really liked them.” Spencer smirked and lifted a brow.

“Traitor.” Aaron joked. “You might as well come in.”

The three men walked in, Jackson stopping to give Aaron a hug and not quite chaste kiss.

“You are coming out. You need to blow off some steam. Tara is going to meet us at Babylon with her new bestie.”

Aaron was a little suspicious. Tara had not said anything about a new friend, but of course Aaron’s focus had been on the case.

“Oh?”

“Yes, that friend of Justin’s? Daphne? They’ve been hanging out together. It’s adorable.”

“Not as adorable as the good Doctor here.” Tony slapped Spencer on the shoulder as he moved to the kitchen to get a drink. “And I love what you’ve done here, Aaron.”

“Wait, Reid?” Aaron looked over confused. 

Spencer blushed deep red and had a little smile on his face. 

“Emmett and I have been spending some time together.”

“How have I not noticed?”

“Because, Boss, you have your nose buried in those files. Now, let’s get you dressed and we are going out dancing.”

“Tone, come on.”

“No, no protesting, Aaron Hotchner. You need a break and to get out of your head.”

“All right, all right. I seem to be outnumbered here.” Aaron stalked to his room where Tony was rummaging through his wardrobe. 

“So, when’s the housewarming?” Tony pulled out a short-sleeved cobalt blue button down that he had given Aaron a few years prior. It was cut to fit his frame perfectly. He then grabbed a pair of black jeans and his boots. Aaron didn’t argue as he changed what he was wearing.

“I’m waiting till the kitchen gets finished, then all of you can come, get drunk and warm my house, so to speak.” Aaron stood up after putting on his boots, Tony looked him over, then pulled the shirt out of his jeans, ruffled his hair, stood back and smiled.

“There, come on.”

Aaron followed Tony out of his room and felt a little shy about how he looked.

“Wow, I should hate you a little, you know.” Spencer was leaning against the back of the couch with his arms crossed. “No one’s boss should look that good.”

“Hmm, I agree. Come on, I bet a certain Liberty Street lothario will command all of your attention this evening.” Jackson threaded his arm through Aaron’s and pulled him towards the door.

“Brian and I...I have no idea what we are. We’ve gone out a few times. And don’t give me that look I know what I’m doing, and I also know exactly who Brian Kinney is. I also have some theories on his behavior. But, that’s for us to work out, if there is anything to work out.”

The three men were silent as they listened to Aaron. When they hit the street, they all piled into Jackson’s car and took off.

“You care about him.’

“I know I shouldn’t.” Aaron looked at his best friend and sighed.

“Hey, whatever you want, Aaron you know I support you. Just make sure this isn’t like Trevor where you were trying to fix all his problems. I don’t want to see you that hurt again.”

Aaron nodded and knew that Jackson was just trying to look out for him.

“I know Jax. But, Trevor was a long-time ago and I’m not that naive.”

“No, you’re not. Alright I’ll leave it alone. Come on, let’s have some fun.”


	6. Chapter Five

 

 

 

_ What you touch do not feel, Do not know what you steal, Destroy everything you touch today  _

_ Please destroy me this way...by Ladytron, Destroy Everything _

Jackson parked near the club and they all piled out of the car easily making their way through the crowd, then inside. The music was thumping, the dancers were lively and the crowd was just like the first time Aaron had come. They made their way to the bar on the upper level.

“Well, hey look who it is. Mr. dark and dangerous FBI guy.” 

Aaron laughed as Emmett bypassed him and went right for Spencer, kissing him. They broke apart and Emmett turned to Aaron and smiled.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, you’re dark and dangerous in your own right.” Aaron was surprised when a kiss was placed on his cheek. “That’s for what you’re doing for Sunshine down there. He’s a good kid,” Emmett whispered in Aaron’s ear. Aaron blushed as he leaned against the railing and saw Brian dancing with someone, a little flare of jealousy sat in Aaron’s belly. He swung his gaze to where Emmett was looking and saw a smiling, dancing Justin and felt a little sense of pride in how the young man had grown and started to work through his issues over the bashing. 

Aaron turned back to look at Brian as a beer was being pressed into his hand. 

“Oh, you’ve got it bad, my friend.”

“And if I do?”

“Dangerous territory, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, Jax. Maybe I am getting in deeper than is healthy for me, but something about Brian. Don’t give me that look.”

“What look?”

“The, ‘you’re doing it again, Hotchner’ look. I don’t know, something tells me I need to see this through.” 

“Just, be careful. I happen to care very much for you and don’t want to see you hurt in the middle of Kinney’s games.”

Aaron turned and didn’t notice that Brian was staring up at him. Pulling Jax into his arms, Aaron kissed his cheek, then sipped his beer.

“I love you worry, Mother Hen.” Aaron teased.

“Screw you, Hotch.” Jax teased back.

“Now that would ruin our beautiful friendship.”

Jackson snorted as the two of them finished their beers. They were both watching the dance floor a few moments, then Aaron signalled with his head that he was going down stairs. He looked around and saw that Tony was already down there, dancing with Justin, Emmett had pulled Spencer down and was trying to loosen up the young Genius. Jackson followed behind then got lost in the crowd as Aaron made his way to Brian. 

“I could come up with some cheap pick-up line, but frankly I’m just too tired. So, why don’t we dispense with the come-ons and just dance.” Aaron settled his hands on Brian’s hips and pulled him close. 

“Aggressive. That’s supposed to be my move.” Brian pulled Aaron closer and kissed him. Their bodies pressed together as they moved to the thumpa-thumpa of the music. Aaron admitted, if only to himself, that there was a certain thrill to it all. 

“Thought I’d mix up the rules a little. Should I assume that you’ve already made your rounds, so to speak?”

“And what if I told you I’ve only been dancing?” Brian smiled as he too settled his hands on Aaron’s hips.

“Then I would ask where the real Brian Kinney was?”

“Maybe he was waiting for someone in particular.”

Aaron knew he was very much playing with fire, but he had played it safe most of his life, having to be so careful around his father. Even in college he rarely went to clubs and parties, always studying. If it hadn’t been for Jackson, he never would have gone anywhere or done anything. 

“I play for keeps, Kinney, you know that already.”

“I do. Maybe I’m enjoying being caught.”

Aaron wasn’t sure he knew what to say to that, so he said nothing, just let Brian lead as they danced.

“I want to thank you.”

“For what?”

Brian turned them around to see Tony dancing with Justin. The younger man smiling as Tony led. 

“That. He’s been...I don’t know, but whatever it is, he’s dealing with things better than how I was handling it.”

“I just made him face what happened, made him acknowledge those emotions. Let him make the decisions on how he was going to deal with them. Believe me, I’ve seen it go the other way too many times. Suppressing never helps anyone.”

“Is that Aaron Hotchner, F.B.I. agent talking?”

“Maybe a little. But, Justin is a good kid, and what happened to him, shouldn’t have.”

Brian had that little sarcastic smile on his face and Aaron never knew what to think of it. For a little while they let the music take them, dancing, teasing, testing. Aaron let go more and let Brian touch him, hands worked under his shirt, warm skin on skin and it made Aaron’s head swim a little. He moved in close and kissed Brian again. That was one thing he could very much get addicted to. Aaron was almost in that perfect place in his head where everything floated away, then it was shattered. By Michael. Aaron glared at Brian’s best friend that he interrupted an almost perfect moment. 

“Mikey, what the fuck is so urgent? Kinda in the middle of something here.” Brian didn’t even try to hide his frustration.

“You can sue me later. I need to talk to you.” Michael pointed a finger at Aaron, who was not amused by the gesture.

“So, talk.”

Michael rolled his eyes as he looked between the two men. 

“Fine, it has to do with  _ your  _ friend anyway.” Michael glared at Aaron as he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Aaron just raised a brow and kept his thoughts to himself. “Your friend is honing in on what’s mine.” 

Aaron looked to where Jackson was dancing with a rather attractive and only slightly older man. From the looks of things, Jackson had known the man longer than just this evening. That was what he got for burying himself in work. 

“Well, I think I need to see what’s up.” Aaron flicked his head as he looked at Brian who just shrugged that he didn’t care. The trio moved across the dance floor till they were next to Jackson and his new friend. 

“Jax,” Aaron used his teasing tone with his friend. “Who’s the friend?”

“Well, if you bothered getting back to me you would know. Ben, this is my best friend and pain in my ass, Aaron Hotchner. Aaron this is, well we’re still working on it, but this is Ben Bruckner. He’s a very sexy professor.” 

Aaron held out his hand and smiled.

“Nice to meet you Ben.”

“No, no not ‘nice to meet you Ben’. I want to know what’s going on here?” Michael now just looked like a petulant child and Aaron wondered just how much his mother had indulged and coddled him. 

“Well, Michael,” Ben wrapped an arm around Jackson and held him close. “We, meaning you and I, broke-up. I’ve known Jax a while, having met a couple of years ago at the college. He’s an adjutant professor at the college. Teaches in the law department. We ran into each about a month ago when he started teaching an Ethics in Law class and we’ve been dating since.”

“But...what about us?” Michael’s brow furrowed and both Aaron and Brian looked at each other and couldn’t quite believe Michael asked that question.

“Michael, there hasn’t been an us for over two months. You broke it off, remember? Now, if you’ll excuse us.”

Michael looked both confused and devastated and Aaron almost, almost felt bad for him. It was the next question that had Aaron’s jaw dropping. 

“Do you know about Ben?” The bitter tone in Michael’s voice as he addressed Jackson. 

“If you mean about him being positive? I was one of the first ones he told. He knew I was a lawyer and wanted some legal advice, then he needed a friend. And I can’t believe that you would be petty enough to bring that up. Now, I’m sorry if your feelings are hurt, but you need to come to terms that you gave Ben up and now we are together.”

Michael was about to say something when Brian wrapped a hand around his arm and started to pull him away.

“Come on, Captain foot-in-mouth. Let’s get you out of here before you say something really stupid.” Brian leaned back and kissed Aaron. “Sorry, got something to take care of.”

“Right. You know where I live.” Aaron smiled as he watched Brian pull Michael away from the dance floor and dragged him up to the bar. “So, that could have gone better.”

Ben chuckled and shook his head.

“You aren’t going to be a dick about this, are you?” Jackson looked between Aaron and Ben.

“Jax, why would I be anything but supportive? I know you, and you know how much I trust you. I also know how careful you are. Besides, you look happy.”

Jackson hugged Aaron and kissed his cheek then tucked himself next to Ben.

“My place is almost finished and I’ll be having a get-together. Why don’t you come, Ben. Maybe we can make plans to go out someplace not quite so crazy and talk.” 

“I’d like that a lot. I want to get to know Jackson’s friends and he talks about you with a lot of love.”

“We’ve been through quite a lot together. I’ll let Jax know when the house warming is. And please, no gifts. Mom sent a bunch of things along with the furniture.”

“Oh boy.”

Aaron laughed and clasped Jackson on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry she restrained herself and actually got me stuff I can use. I’ll leave you two alone now.” Aaron just nodded towards Ben then moved through the dancers. He saw Tony was still dancing with Justin and he moved towards them. Coming up behind Justin Aaron wrapped his hands around Justin’s hips and pulled him close.

“That shirt should be illegal,” Aaron said close to Justin’s ear, while looking at Tony. 

“I told him that myself.” Tony moved closer and Justin was kind of sandwiched between the two men. The music was a hard driving rhythm and the three of them moved together letting the music take them.

After two more songs, Aaron needed a break. He kissed Justin on the side of the mouth, running a hand over his exposed stomach at the same time. He still wondered what he was doing. He knew Justin had just celebrated his eighteenth birthday, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t still get into serious trouble with the Bureau if they found out. Aaron, though, didn’t care. He had kept so much of himself back, and after Haley’s death it had been hard to let himself get close to anyone. He would see where all of this took him, no matter what the consequences might be.

Moving through the club, Aaron made his way up to the bar at the top of the stairs and ordered a beer. Sipping from the bottle he turned around to watch what was happening down on the dancefloor.

“You looked like you were having fun, darlin’” 

Aaron turned and smiled.

“Emmett. How are you?”

“I have to thank you.”

“For what?” Aaron turned back and leaned on the bar, smiling at Emmett.

“Spencer.”

“Oh. I didn’t really do much.”

“I know, but he said you were the one to get him out. He’s sweet.”

“So things are going well with you two?”

“Yeah. He gets me, ‘ya know?”

Aaron looked down at the bar, then back to Emmett.

“Yeah, I do. He’s a good guy and I think you two are perfect for each other.”

Emmett smiled the biggest smile Aaron had seen him make. 

“Oh, honey, you really think so?”

“I do.”

“Well.” Emmett took out a fan and started to fan himself as he blushed really hard. Aaron couldn’t help laughing, which make Emmett laugh.

“And, can I say sweetie,” Emmett leaned in close and laid a hand on Aaron’s arm. “You are perfect for our dear Brian and Sunshine. Those boys need someone to balance them out and force them to acknowledge their feelings.”

“They are...work. But, as much of an asshole as Brian is, there is a good person hiding in there. I understand where some of it is coming from. If it hadn’t been for Jax, believe it or not that could have been me.” Aaron turned around again and looked down at the crowd. “I was angry like that for a long time. But, I had someone who helped me through it. Michael keeps Brian down. I don’t know what to do with that.”

“The way I see it is like this. The longer you are in their lives, showing Brian what his potential is, the better it will be. I don’t know if Brian will change all his ways, but I’ve seen him...calmer.”

Aaron’s thoughts turned inward as he contemplated Emmett’s words. He saw that the man cared about Brian. He didn’t always like what Brian did, but Aaron could see that Emmett cared, and he cared deeply. 

“I think I’m going to go in search of Mr. Kinney. You okay here by yourself?”

“When Spencer is tired of dancing, he’ll come up. I’m fine, Aaron. Go, shoo, go find your man.”

Aaron finished his beer and left the bottle on the bar. He gently gripped Emmett’s shoulder as he moved away and went back downstairs. Not seeing Brian in the crowd, Aaron had a pretty good idea where Brian had gone off to. He wanted to feel jealous, but he knew what he was getting into when it came to one Brian Kinney. 

Going downstairs to the lower level, he moved through the men engaging in various sexual acts. He finally found Brian up against a wall being blown by a complete stranger. Several men had approached Aaron, who gently turned them down with a shake of his head. 

Leaning on the wall next to Brian Aaron looked down at the young man on his knees, then back up to Brian.

“Just can’t help yourself can you?”

Brian turned and looked at Aaron a blissed out look on his face. But, Aaron saw something else. When he looked in Brian’s eyes there was nothing there. He felt the physical pleasure, but it didn’t reach his eyes. There was no meaning, no feeling and Aaron knew this for what it was, addiction.

“I could lie, but that’s what you have to understand about me. I don’t lie. What you see is pretty much what you get.”

Aaron carded his hand through the strangers hair, then gripped it tight, holding the young man’s head right where he wanted it. 

“Have you ever considered that you have an addiction? Does this kid mean anything to you past getting a blow job?”

“Are you gonna preach at me now, Aaron?”

“No. I knew what I was getting into, doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing this.” Aaron let the young man’s head go, he glared at Brian once, then stalked off. He heard Brian call his name, but he didn’t turn around to look. He had too much dignity. He wanted Brian, cared about him and could, if they gave it a chance, love him. But, not like this. Aaron stalked out of the club and to Jackson’s car. He forgot that he had not driven himself. He didn’t hear someone come up behind him.

“ _ Aaron!”  _ Aaron turned around so fast that he almost didn’t register that it was Jackson. “What happened?”

“I’m a fool, Jax. That’s what happened. I want to go home and, I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” Aaron leaned against the door and looked to the side and not at Jackson.

“I can get a ride from Ben. Take my keys, just be careful with her. I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

“I can’t take your car, Jax.”

“Yes, you can. Here. Go home and maybe tomorrow things will look better.”

Aaron pulled Jax to him and kissed him. 

“I love you, you know.”

“Yeah. I know. Go home.”

Aaron took Jackson’s keys and watched him go back into Babylon. Aaron drove himself home and poured a drink. He knew part of the problem was that he and Brian were two alpha males with very different priorities. Leaning against the sink, Aaron wondered just what the hell he was doing.

The pounding on his door had Aaron frowning and setting his drink on the counter. He waited a moment, and that’s all it took for the pounding to continue. Rolling his neck he figured that it was either Jackson or Justin. Walking to the door, Aaron pulled it open and was surprised to see Brian there.

“Who the fuck are you to dictate what the hell I do with my life?” Brian shoved Aaron away as he rushed into the loft.

“You just can’t admit you have a problem can you? You want everyone around you to dance to your tune, but when it comes to giving something of yourself, you can’t do that.”

Brian rushed at Aaron and poked him in the chest, yelling as he went.

“You come into my life and turned it upside down. I didn’t fucking care about anyone but myself.”

“Oh, right. So, Justin is just some afterthought then? Or Emmett, Michael and even Ted? You really don’t care about them?”

Brian glared at Aaron, his hands balled into fist as he stood rigid.

“ _ I don’t care!” _ Brian growled.

“ _ I don’t believe you!”  _ Aaron yelled back. 

“Why are you doing this to me? Why is this so important to you?” Brian threw his hands in the air and walked away, then stalked back towards Aaron.

“Because, despite that thick fucking armor you have, I care. I care about you. You aren’t the only one whose life has been fucked to hell. I want you, Bri. I want you to care about yourself. You are incredibly self defeatist. It’s like you don’t  _ want  _ people to love you.” Aaron felt his heart pounding in his chest. He looked at Brian with stormy eyes.

“ _ I don’t want it!”  _

“Fine! Then leave. Now!” Aaron turned away. He didn’t want to watch Brian walking out the door, it was breaking his heart and that right there told him how deep he had already fallen. He heard the slamming of the door and closed his eyes. Gripping the back of the couch, Aaron didn’t want to admit that he was scared too. Everything happened so fast with him and Brian, and he knew immediately he had screwed up. 

Laying down on his couch Aaron stared up at the ceiling and wondered just how much more he could have screwed that up. Closing his eyes, Aaron knew he needed to decide just what the hell he wanted. If he wanted to fight for Brian and all that came with, or to let something go that, in the end may be hard, but ultimately worth it. 

____________________

The pounding on his door had Aaron groaning as he rolled over on the couch. He had not realized he fell asleep on it. Grabbing his phone he looked at the time, which was after nine a.m. on a Saturday. 

The pounding continued and Aaron groaned as he stumbled up off the couch and to the door. He had a headache, and his body felt like shit, he really hoped it wasn’t Brian back for more blood. He wasn’t ready to confront the man yet. 

Flinging the door opened, Aaron was startled by Justin barging in and whirling around on him.

“I fucking thought you were supposed to be the fucking adult. What the fuck are you going to do to fix this?”

Aaron’s brain was trying hard to catch-up to an angry teen standing in the middle of his loft glaring at him.

“Justin..”

“No. You listen to me Aaron Hotchner. You were supposed to be there to help Brian. You were the  _ only one _ that was getting through to him and you go and fuck it up spectacularly? You know sometimes I wonder if I’m the only fucking adult around here.” Justin threw his arms up in the air and stalked over to the kitchen. Aaron stood there shell shocked.

Justin was making coffee, loudly. Aaron was rubbing at his temples trying to soothe the headache that he had woken up with.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the diner?”

“I traded shifts. Get in the damned shower, then when you get out, down a couple of cups of coffee, then march right up to Brian’s place and fucking apologize!” 

“I...”

“No.” Justin had just finished measuring out the coffee and poured the water in, then turned the coffeemaker on before turning around and leaning on the counter. 

“You have no idea what I was going to say.”

“You were going to make some kind of stupid excuse for your behavior.”

“How do you even know what happened?”

“I made Brian talk to me. It isn’t always easy, but I’ve learned over the last year or so how to get a reluctant asshole to actually open up on occasion.”

Justin sighed and walked over to Aaron, taking his hand and gently cupping his cheek.

“I know you’re scared. For all of your strength and stoicism, I can see the fear. And don’t think I don’t know what those scars on your back mean. Fathers can be assholes, and the ghosts of them can be far worse. You need to decide what you want, Aaron. I know you care for Brian and I know you could, ultimately, be good for each other. Don’t let your fear get in the way.”

Justin let Aaron go and started to go back towards the kitchen. 

“He isn’t the only one I care about.” Aaron laid a hand on Justin’s shoulder.

Justin turned around and stepped back towards Aaron.

“Aren’t you afraid I’m going to ruin your reputation?” Justin’s crooked smile had Aaron pulling the young man closer to him.

“No.” Aaron leaned down, cupping Justin’s face, Aaron kissed him. “You’re right. I figured it out last night. I am scared. But, I’m not like you Justin. I can’t deal with all the one night stands, the casual sex with nameless men almost every night.”

“Believe it or not, it’s hard for me too. I compromise with him and for now that’s all I know how to do.”

“And your casual encounters? Don’t they get to you?”

Justin pulled away and walked to the kitchen and started to pull items out of the fridge. Aaron had the feeling he was trying to work out what to say.

“I find I don’t really want them as much. Talking with Cherise has helped me work through all of these crazy emotions. I’m coming to terms with what happened and I know all of the fucking and drugs is just a bandaid. Tony has helped a lot, and...” Justin bit his lip in that way that drove Aaron a little crazy. “You.”

Aaron slid onto a stool and watched Justin for a moment.

“What do  _ you _ want, Justin? The four of us to somehow make a go of this? Isn’t that...”

“Strange?” The full smile did something to Aaron’s stomach that had him unconsciously rubbing it. “I do strange very well.”

Aaron laughed a genuine laugh as he watched Justin for a moment. He still had no idea what he was doing, but for some reason, that part of him that was part masochist wanted whatever this was as well. 

“Now, go, shower. Don’t make me tell you a third time.” Justin tried to look intimidating, but Aaron just laughed as he stood, gave Justin a quick peck on the side of his mouth, then went to do as he was told. 

When he got out and dressed there was more coffee and a plate with food. 

“You didn’t have to cook.”

Justin shrugged one shoulder as he leaned on the counter and ate from his own plate.

“I wanted to. I find I like cooking.”

“So, have you thought about applying for the scholarship?”

Justin set his fork down and straightened up. 

“I thought a lot about it. I know my chances are slim, but what the hell.”

Aaron smiled as he ate the food, impressed by Justin’s skill. Aaron was quiet as he ate, wondering what to do about Brian. He was conflicted still. Aaron was grateful that Justin was giving him the space to figure this out.

When another knock came, Aaron wondered what the hell was wrong with people. Rolling his eyes he opened the loft door to see Tony there.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I just got a fucking notice from my douchebag landlord that the owner’s are raising the rents. Again. I don’t know how much longer I can afford my place. They claim since all of these new higher end bars, coffee shops and restaurants popped up, the property is worth more. My ass it’s worth what the fuck they want to charge.”

Tony flopped down on Aaron’s couch, turned his head to see Justin who just smiled and gave a little wave.

Aaron shook his head making his way to his counter he grabbed his plate and coffee then joined Tony on the couch.

“What do you want to do?”

“I have to move. I don’t want to move, but fuck, I can’t afford what these assholes are charging.”

Aaron was thoughtful as he ate. He looked up at Justin who was looking at him, and the two had a whole conversation with just their expressions. It was crazy what Aaron was thinking. But, it’s not like they hadn’t lived together before. 

“I have an idea.”

“Oh?”

Aaron looked around his place and knew that Tony would respect it. The man was almost worse than he was when it came to keeping his space neat and clean. It was one of the things they had often argued over. One of them was neat, the other was positively OCD about it. Aaron couldn’t help how he was, part of it was how he was raised. 

“I have a second bedroom. Plenty of space. We could work out the office area over there.”

“We argued constantly the last time we tried this.”

“I’m well aware Tony. But, last time we were also lovers. Now, we’re friends.”

“And, you’d be closer to me.” Justin smiled as he bounced over to Tony and jumped in his lap. “I’m just right upstairs.” 

“I don’t know...”

“Why not? We could give it a trial run. You could stay here till your lease runs out.”

“How much do you want?”

“Just half the bills, nothing more. This place is paid for in full. If it works out, we can talk about contributing to the taxes and insurance, but other than that just the normal household bills.”

Tony stood and looked at Aaron a moment, then walked over to pour himself some coffee. Leaning against the counter he looked around the loft for a few moments while he sipped at his coffee. Aaron was patient, he knew this was a big decision for him and would give him time to mull it over. Finishing the breakfast Justin made, Aaron knew he had to go talk to Brian. He could admit that he was scared and that was why he pushed Brian away when he should have listened to him. 

“Why don’t you take your time, Tony. I...I have to go talk to Brian. I kinda fucked up last night.”

Tony set his coffee down then made his way over to Aaron.

“Look, I know what broke us apart, Aaron. You didn’t want to talk about all those things that scared you. Don’t do that with Brian. He needs to know you are just as scared of this as he is. I know you, and I know how you react when things get heavy. You and I weren’t ready because we were both in really bad places. You are ready for this if you give yourself the chance.”

Aaron let his forehead fall on Tony’s and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. 

“Thank you, Tone.” Aaron pulled away, then walked out and made his way upstairs to Brian’s place. He knocked and waited.


	7. Chapter Six

 

_ And the river flows beneath your skin, Like savage horses kept within, And all is wasted in the sand, Like breaking diamonds with your hand...by Royksopp, Running to the Sea _

 

Aaron wasn’t surprised that Brian didn’t answer at first. He knocked again, this time a little harder.

“Alright, alright, hold on.” Aaron heard through the door. “What the hell...” The door slid open and Brian stood there looking at him, expressionless.

“I was an asshole.”

Brian lifted a brow and stood there not saying anything. 

“I think we need to talk, but not with me standing out here like this.”

Brian waived Aaron inside then shut the door. 

“Alright, talk.”

Aaron leaned against the counter, crossed his arms and looked down at the floor. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts.

“I’m sure you can guess by now that I didn’t exactly have the most idyllic childhood. My father thought he could change me, I’m sure you can imagine what that entailed.” Aaron looked up to see Brian watching him and listening.

“I’m scared, Bri. I don’t admit that lightly but I’ve been verbally bitch slapped by both Justin and Tony. I can feel myself caring for you, possibly more if we gave it a chance. I know you’re scared as well. I see  _ you,  _ Brian. I see past the casual sex, the drugs, the masks you put up to shield yourself from feeling anything other than apathy and contempt. 

“I see the same scared person in you, that I feel. Love is frankly terrifying. I lost one person I loved and it nearly destroyed me. But, I think we have something here. You, me, even Justin. I don’t know what, but don’t you think we deserve to at least try?”

Aaron looked in Brian’s eyes and saw so many things there. His fear, the pain of his past, the need to please others to the detriment of his own mental well being. 

“I...” Brian turned away and walked towards the windows and looked out. 

Aaron moved over to him and wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist. 

“I know this will take baby steps. The only thing I ask of you right now is to stop the drugs.”

Aaron felt Brian take a deep breath. He laid his head back against Aaron’s and the minor shaking only lasted for a few moments.

“That’s all you ask?”

“Time together, of course. We continue how we’ve been. Even though it kills me, I won’t pressure you to give everything up. But, I want you to at least consider talking to someone. You know that what you’re doing is self-destructive. But, I’ll be patient. Show you that you are worth being loved, being cared for and taken care of.”

“Alright. No drugs.”

Aaron knew that was as good as he was going to get for the time being. This was going to take baby steps. He hoped to god he knew what he was doing. He was putting his heart on the line knowing it could be shattered to pieces.

Aaron turned Brian around and really looked at him and his earlier supposition was correct. Brian was scared. But, for now he would let it go, had to if he wanted to make a real go of this. Cupping Brain’s face he stepped forward and leaned in kissing Brian, pouring every ounce of emotion he had for the man into that one kiss.

Brian was the first to pull out of the kiss. 

“I want your ass, you won’t deny me this time, Aaron. Don’t worry I’ll make you feel good.” Brian started to push Aaron towards his bed while slowly getting out of his clothes. 

Aaron knew he had to give something of himself physically if they were going to make a go of it. He had never been penetrated, and it had been another fear of his. For all his bravado and devil may care attitude, Brain kept reassuring Aaron that he would enjoy the experience. 

Brian kept to his word and Aaron was surprised that his lover was being gentle. They were on their sides, Aaron had a leg thrown backwards over Brian’s legs. Hands gripped his hips and the slow, gentle thrusts were kind of making him crazy. He needed more, kept begging for it in incoherent words. 

“Shh, I’ll get you there, Aaron. I don’t want to hurt to you.”

Aaron swallowed hard and slowly let go, giving into Brian’s need for control. For all of the masks he hid behind, there was a caring, loving man underneath and Aaron would never call Brian out on what he was doing, which was, in all honesty, making love. A hand explored his back, touching the scars he barely let anyone see, let alone touch. A mouth kissed across his shoulders, and down as far as he could go, lingering on the thicker, more prominent ones.

Aaron was trying to control the shaking, the exposure and vulnerability were what he had been afraid of. He didn’t want Brian to hear the sob that almost escaped his lips, especially when a hand covered his heart and pushed him closer.

“No one’s ever gotten this close to you have they?”

Aaron almost couldn’t speak, he had to get himself together or the dam would burst and he didn’t know how Brian would take that. 

“No.” Aaron finally choked out as Brian’s cock just brushed over his prostate taking his breath away.

When Brian’s hand wrapped around his cock, Aaron bucked back into Brian, he grunted when a few moments later he was coming in Brian’s hand. Brian picked up the pace, chasing his release in earnest knowing he wasn’t going to hurt Aaron at this point. When Brian pushed Aaron onto his front, Brain took him, hard and fast. Aaron felt like this was a type of claiming as he curled his hands around the bars of Brian’s headboard. His breath hitched as he was pounded into over and over, then finally Brian fell over him, and on a grunt Aaron knew he had found his release. Aaron’s body shook as Brain pulled out, his body having a dry orgasm. He collapsed down even more, trying to get his breath back.

“I’m going to shower. You can join me if you want.” 

Aaron heard Brian’s footsteps towards the shower. Aaron turned on his back and catalogued the new aches in his body. It wasn’t wholly unpleasant. Staring up at the ceiling, Aaron was trying to figure out if he was different or not. Being taken for the first time was a new experience for him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, and it had nothing to do with the whole top/bottom issues inherent in sex. It had everything to do with his own issues about who he was and letting himself be vulnerable to another human being. Hearing the shower turn on, Aaron stood and felt that ache even more. He knew it would fade, but at the moment it was a reminder of what happened, how he put his trust in someone so completely. Aaron wasn’t even sure if Brian understood, or if he always just chased his pleasure and didn’t think of the person he was bedding.

Aaron slipped in the shower, Brian was on the other side scrubbing himself. Aaron closed his eyes and tipped his face up to the spray, letting himself feel the warmth of the water cascading over him.

“I’m going to Lindsay’s today and spend a little time with her and Gus.”

Aaron tipped his head back down and looked at Brian.

“Gus is a sweet kid.”

“She and Mel want to talk about custody again.”

“Do you know what you want?”

Brian looked out the glass door and licked his lips. 

“I want to be his Dad. I know I’ve been shit as a father lately, but I think...” Brian stepped under the spray, changing positions with Aaron. “I think I want to try. Linds said they got an adoption lawyer and they told Mel everything she did wrong. I kinda wished I was there.” Brian had a wicked smile on his face that Aaron just shook his head.

“Brian.” Aaron settled his hands on either side of Brian’s face. “I think you would make a wonderful Dad, despite yourself.”

“Yeah?”

Aaron smiled softly and kissed Brian.

“Yeah.”

Brian tilted his head down a moment then looked back up at Aaron.

“You could come.”

Aaron thought a moment.

“If you really want me to.”

“I’ll get the kid, he loves Gus too. Make a sorta day of it.”

Aaron could tell that it was an olive branch. Brian was willing to share something so personal and important to him, with Aaron. He was not going to waste this opportunity. Aaron told himself,  _ baby steps. _

______________________

Aaron was watching Brian and Lindsay stroll down the street till they almost disappeared. He could admit that Gus was an adorable baby and that Brian loved him.

“So...”

“Sorry, Mel.” Aaron looked down at the contract in his hands and went through it carefully. “It’s solid. You, as a step-parent, have as many rights as does Lindsey and Brian. You and Lindsey have the rights on raising Gus. Schooling, clothing, housing etc. Brian can have a say, but ultimately it is yours and Lindsey’s decisions. Now, you cannot leave the state, or even this city without express written consent from Brian. In medical emergencies, all three of you are allowed to make decisions. There are financial provisions that Brian has agreed to, even though you and Linds didn’t want anything. This was added of Brian’s own free will.” Aaron kept reading through then stopped. His heart pounded hard in his chest and he had to swallow a few time.

“Aaron?”

“All of you chose proxies in case anything happened to you.”

“Yes. We want to make sure Gus is taken care of.”

Aaron rubbed at his hair and tried to comprehend what Brian had done. 

“You alright?”

“Why did he choose me? He has friends that have known him longer.”

Mel laughed and shook her head.

“Come on, Aaron. Could you see Ted, Emmett, Justin or Michael with a baby?”

Aaron shook his head and handed the adoption papers back to Mel. He didn’t know what to think or feel about what Brian had done. He rubbed at the feeling in his stomach, trying to calm himself. He watched the street as his head spun with the knowledge that Brian  _ trusted _ him. Finally when he could actually speak again, he turned to Mel.

“Looks like you actually worked this all out.”

Mel looked over as Lindsey, Brian and Gus came back around. 

“I don’t know how he does it.” Mel glared towards the trio.

“Does what?”

“Gets all these people to think he’s this cool guy. I swear there are times I wish Linds had never met him. It’s like he gets this flock around him that act like they worship the ground he walks on.”

Aaron turned and narrowed his eyes at Mel.

“Really, that’s what you think? I know for a fact that Emmett sees through his bullshit. Ted wants to  _ be _ Brian he can’t look past his own self-esteem issues to be his own person. Justin loves him, but at the same time enables his behaviors because he wants Brian to know that  _ someone  _ in his life cares about who he is, flaws and all. Michael....” Aaron took a deep breath as he watched the trio slowly move closer back to the house.

“What about Michael?”

“Codependency at its worst. I know Jackson and I often act like Brian and Michael, but we knew when to let each other go. He’s my platonic soulmate and I would do anything for him. But, we let each other grow up, and we knew any type of intimate relationship would destroy what we had. Michael holds on because he is hoping to get his one wish.”

“Hey, Michael is a nice guy.”

“Is he really? I thought you were smarter than that Mel. You’re a damned good lawyer and are able to read your clients well, why can’t you read those close to you?” Aaron handed her the papers and wondered where Justin had gotten to. “And Lindsey? I think Lindsey likes being superior to Brian. She likes to lord it over him how ‘adult’ she is and that Brian should grow up. Yet, when he takes those baby steps, she slaps him down.”

“Wow. Oh wow. You too?”

“Me too what?” Aaron lifted a brow and almost fell over when he felt Justin sit behind him and wrap his arms around Aaron.

“You are totally taken in by him.”

“Oh, yeah. Watching the both of them is like watching a slow uncoordinated ballet. Unless they are fucking. If they’re fucking, it’s absolutely glorious.” Justin kissed Aaron’s cheek.

“Justin!” Aaron admonished as he wrapped a hand around Justin’s wrist and pulled him a little closer.

“What? It’s true.”

Aaron felt the heat rise in his neck and face. Mel at least had the decency to cover her mouth as she chuckled.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the great Aaron Hotchner blush quite that color.”

“That is a spectacular color.” Brian’s smile held just a touch of a smirk. He had Gus in his arms and had the baby laughing and cooing. “I think it’s your turn to hold him.” Brian looked at Aaron with a challenge in his eyes. Aaron hesitated a moment till Brian lifted a brow. Aaron took little Gus and held him close. “See? That so hard?”

Aaron held back the emotion that he felt swimming in his eyes. He didn’t even stop the smile on his face as Gus smiled and babbled at him.

“Sunny boy likes you.”

Aaron looked up at Brian and something settled in his heart. He knew, somehow, that the road might look long, but they would make whatever they were work.

“He’s a sweet boy.” 

“If you guys want to stay, I can put together some sandwiches. Nothing fancy.”

“Sure. Sounds good.” Aaron stood with Gus still in his arms. He figured this was going to be the closest he ever got to being a father.

He handed Gus back to Brian and leaned in to kiss him. 

“Bastard,” Aaron said under his breath, but with a bit of a smile on his face.

“Yeah, but you can’t help it. You like Gus.” 

“I’m going to go help Lindsay. Sign the papers. Your negotiator did a good job.” Aaron kissed Brian again and went to the kitchen to help put some food together for everyone. Lunch had been interesting to say the least. A part of him wanted to get down to the real reason Mel was so jealous of the relationship between Lindsay and Brian. It was going to take work, but as Aaron watched Brian feed Gus he knew it was worth it.

____________________

“Alright. I know this case is taxing all of us, but I have someone coming in from Quantico. He was my mentor before I was offered this office. He’ll be here tomorrow.”

“You called my Dad, didn’t you?” Tara asked as she looked over the case board.

“I did.”

“Hmph. I know he’s the right call, just warn me when he gets here.”

“Tara, when are you two going to sit down and talk? You know you’re going to have to work together.”

“I know. Don’t worry, Hotch. I’ll be my very best professional Agent.” Tara spun on her heels and walked out of the conference room. Aaron knew there would be conflict between the two of them, he wasn’t sure if he was a hundred percent prepared for it. 

“I know we’ve gone over this again and again. But, we’ll do it again till we get something. Alright, you guys have your assignments. We’ll meet back in here in three hours.” Aaron gathered his things and moved back to his office. The case had been taking up so much of his time that he had not had a chance to deal with other departments and their needs. White Collar had a fraud case they were pursuing, Missing Persons had budget requests, and there was more. Aaron already had a headache when Spencer walked in.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just really behind. I’m going to need Tony to take the lead on the bashing case. When Gideon gets here I want you and him to work on the profile that we’ve already lined out. For today, can you go see if Agent Riley needs help with their fraud case?”

“Sure. You know if you need help, Hotch, just let us know. We’re all here for you.”

Aaron smiled and knew Spencer was right. 

“Thanks. For now, I just need this bashing case to wrap up.”

Spencer nodded, stood and left.

“Aaron? I’m done with the boxes of files that Agent Parker gave me.” Justin sat in the chair across from Aaron.

“Okay. I’ll call her and have her bring some more up. I want to thank you, Justin for all the help you’ve given this office. These cases should have been put in a long time ago. I know it seems like a boring job, and I acknowledge it is, but you’re doing a good job of it.”

“I’m just glad that I never took the dancing job. I didn’t really want to do what...well thanks.”

“Justin. I know that some of these men take advantage. I’ve seen it in all communities, I’m just glad I could help.”

Justin smiled wide then left the office to go to his desk to do some busy work. Aaron watched him a moment and wondered at how resilient he really was. 

“Sir, I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop her. Just giving you fair warning.” 

“Charlene?” Aaron saw a well dressed woman barge into his office and glare at him. 

“It’s alright Charlene. I’ll handle this.” 

The receptionist looked flustered as she left Aaron’s office and went back to her desk. Aaron stood, and waited a moment to see if the woman was going to introduce herself. 

“I’m Jennifer Taylor. Justin’s mother. Now, I already know all about Brian and his...I’ve come to try to accept Justin’s relationship with the man, even if I don’t understand it. But, what I don’t understand is  _ you!” _

Jennifer threw a sketchpad down on Aaron’s desk.  It was open to a drawing Justin had recently done of Aaron in the shower. Then another one of him shirtless after a long case, having fallen asleep on Brian’s couch. 

Aaron set the pad down, then walked over to the windows and closed up the curtains. His eyes met a very startled Justin’s. Aaron shook his head because he saw that the young man wanted to come into the office. Then Aaron walked to the door and closed it. 

“Mrs. Taylor, please have a seat.”

Aaron moved back to his desk, then sat down. He waited till the woman was seated as well.

“Justin is eighteen. I know that doesn’t excuse anything, but I am not going to be ashamed of any relationship that I may or may not have with your son. Justin has a way of...”

“Getting who and what he wants with not one thought to possible consequences?” 

“Yes. Exactly. I won’t lie, Mrs. Taylor. You can ask me the questions that are clearly on your mind.”

“How do you know I have questions?”

Aaron smiled and leaned back in his chair. 

“Oh, that is not fair. I see why Justin is taken with you.”

“It’s my job to read and understand people. You want to know, yet you don’t at the same time, if I have had sex with your son.”

Jennifer kept looking Aaron in the eye as she crossed her arms over her chest, and her leg over the other.

“Yes. I do want to know.”

“Yes I have. And if you feel like I’ve violated your son in any way I won’t stop you from speaking with my superiors. You should know, however, that it was consensual.”

“Somehow that does not exactly make me feel better.”

Aaron leaned forward again and linked his hands together as he watched the emotions in Jennifer’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else you want. And, before you ask no I did not offer Justin a job here in exchange for sex. That is not something I would ever entertain. The circumstances of my job offer are Justin’s alone to talk to you about,  _ if _ he decides to tell you.”

“I just don’t understand his attraction to men older than him. You at least seem stable.”

“I could give you all the psychobabble about our formative years and the development of our love map, but frankly Justin is not your typical eighteen year old. His maturity is vastly ahead of his peers. He doesn’t find those in his peer group smart enough, or mature enough to be open to any kinds of relationships with them. 

“Look, what you don’t see in these are the long discussions I’ve had with Justin. I admire his mind, his talent, his perseverance, his resilience. He is a wonderful young man.”

“I don’t think Brian Kinney is all that mature.” Jennifer huffed as she bounced her leg in agitation.

“He’s trying, really hard. I don’t understand people that want him to grow up, then when he does, when he tries to change, he is just slapped down so hard once again.”

“You too?”

“Me too, what?”

“You know what? I don’t think I want to know. Just, I don’t want to see my son hurt.”

“I don’t want that either. I want to see him succeed. I do care, a lot for him.”

“I guess I just need to let him go.” Jennifer looked towards the window where Justin’s desk was. Even though the blinds were closed, Aaron could tell she knew where he was sitting.

“You’re his mother. You are always going to love him and worry. Believe me, I was worse at his age. I had a very rude wake up call before I really got my life together. Justin is way ahead of that curve.”

“You’re the one that got him into counseling, aren’t you?”

“I am. But, I let him figure it out on his own. He was confronted with the reality of what happened to him and I just suggested he speak with our in house psychologist. It’s nothing formal. They do things their own way and it’s working. Justin doesn’t like to be manipulated and I would never do that to him.”

“How is it you know my son better than I do?”

Aaron looked down at his desk and sighed.

“I’m not family. I listen to him and just try to be there for him.”

Jennifer sighed turning back to look at Aaron. 

“I just don’t want to see him hurt.”

Aaron didn’t look away from Jennifer.

“Of course you don’t want to see him hurt, neither do I. But, that’s unrealistic. He is going to get hurt. Life has a way of screwing with us. All you can do is let him know you’re there for him, no matter what his choices are. As long as they are legal and they don’t physically harm him, he has to learn to make those choices.”

“Well, I can say this, at least you sound like you’re an adult.”

Aaron smiled again when he stood up, signalling an end to the conversation. Jennifer stood as well and when Aaron held out his hand, she took it and the two of them came to an understanding. 

“He’s a good man. Get to know who your son really is, not who you want him to be.” Aaron escorted Jennifer towards the elevators.

“I’m trying.”

“That’s a start.” Aaron saw her onto the elevator, waved goodbye and went back to his office where he opened up his blinds once more.

Aaron knew Justin was going to run in and find out what was going on. Aaron picked up the sketch pad and looked at the new ones he had done. Aaron also knew what Justin went through physically to do just one of them. It made Aaron admire him even more.

Setting the pad aside, Aaron got down to work. He wanted to have his desk somewhat clear by the time that Gideon arrived the next day.

A few hours later Aaron was packing up and going home. He took a few things with him and would finish up later that night. 

 


	8. Chapter Seven

 

_ Something that you said, The look upon your face, Something in the way you hold me, I know what they say, I know what this means, I know that you never told me...by Saint Etienne, Burnt Out Car _

 

Walking into his loft Aaron smelled the most delicious smell. That meant Tony had cooked. That also meant he was upset about something. 

“Hey. What has you upset?”

Tony cracked his neck before he turned around to lean on the bar.

“My father called.”

“Ah.”

“I don’t want him anywhere near me.”

This was a minefield that Aaron was not prepared to walk. He knew that Tony had deep seeded issues with DiNozzo Sr, and frankly Aaron didn’t blame him. 

“What does he want?”

“What the fuck does my father always want.”

“Money.”

“I just wish he would leave me alone. Once and for all.”

Aaron sat on a stool after taking off his jacket and tie. 

“I wish I could help. That smells delicious, what did you make?”

“Chicken cacciatore. I have fresh pasta to drop in some water to have on the side.”

Aaron stood and walked around the counter. He pulled Tony in his arms and held him close.

“If there is anything you need, you know I’m here, Tone.”

“I know. I just wish Senior would just stay the fuck away.”

Aaron wished it too, but he wasn't sure how. Sighing, he kissed Tony’s forehead and then let him go.

“I made enough if you want to invite Bri and Justin.”

“Alright. I’ll go up and ask.”

Aaron quickly made his way upstairs and knocked. It took a moment before the door was opening and Brian looked like he had just gotten home. 

“Rough day?”

“You could say that. I wanted to strangle the new art intern. He was presenting me with these mockups that looked like they came out of the Nagel period of advertising. Jeez, where do they get these kids?” Brian joked as he walked by Justin, ruffling his hair.

“I don’t know, art school?” Justin shot back, grinning.

“Cheeky.”

“Which one?”

Brian laughed as he grabbed a water from his fridge.

“If you two are done. Tony made chicken cacciatore. He made enough if you guys want some. I saw some roasted vegetables and a salad.”

“Oh my god that sounds awesome.” Justin jumped up and grabbed a fresh, or what Aaron hoped was a fresh, tshirt. 

“I promise, Brian, it’s healthy. Tony is quite health conscious.”

Brian rolled his eyes as he finished his water.

“Sure, let me get changed.”

“I’m just going to head down.” Justin grinned as he ran out the door.

Aaron chuckled as he watched him go. He turned back to see Brian leaning against his bedroom doorway, no shirt and the top button of his fly opened. He crooked a finger at Aaron who walked over. Brain pulled him into a kiss that made even Aaron’s knees weak. 

“We have time. You could help me with something.” Brian’s eyes were half lidded as his hand covered the now obvious bulge.

“You don’t ever stop, do you?” Aaron kissed Brian’s neck and slid his body down Brian’s. He wasn’t opposed to some recreational fun before dinner. Might even ramp up his appetite. He made quick work of Brian’s pants and eagerly took the hard cock in his mouth. The obscene moan from Brian spurred Aaron on. 

He didn’t just give Brian a blowjob. He wasn’t going to be like the boys in the backroom of Babylon, or in the bath houses. He would show his feelings for Brian in how he worshipped the cock in his mouth.    
  
Hands gripped his hair, and when he rolled his eyes to look up he saw that Brian was more than enjoying what he was doing. Brian’s eyes were half closed, his mouth was slightly open and the fingers wrapped in his hair had Aaron moaning as well. He took his time, drawing out the pleasure and when he felt that Brian was close he relaxed his throat even more. Aaron pulled off and stood up taking Brian’s mouth in a kiss that made Brian moan in the back of his throat.

“Naked, on the bed, now.” Aaron’s voice was rough as he commanded Brian. Brian worked quickly on stripping himself. Aaron had not wanted sex when he came up, but seeing Brian standing there like he was made for sex, it turned him on more than he cared to admit. 

Naked and kneeling on the bed, Brian didn’t have to wait long before Aaron was there fucking him hard and fast. Aaron’s hand wrapped around Brian’s aching cock and was coming before he wanted as Aaron kept pounding into him. Brian heard more than felt Aaron getting himself off in Brian’s body. The two collapsed on the bed with Brian pulling Aaron close to him. 

This was a bit of a reversal. It was usually Aaron that spooned behind Brian. 

“Something I want to say.” Aaron started to turn around to look Brian in the face, but he was held fast by his hips. “Don’t turn around yet. I need to say this but I can’t if you look at me.” 

“Alright.” Aaron’s heart started to pound in his chest. He thought that maybe this was all getting too much for Brian and he wanted out. Aaron was surprised, though, by what Brian had to say.

“Look, when we go out, just us and even if it’s at Babylon, I promise no outside partners for that night.”

Aaron buried his face in the pillow a moment to calm the rapid beating of his heart. He smiled into the pillow and figured they were making progress.

“Can I turn around now?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah.” 

Aaron turned and looked Brian in the eyes. 

“Thank you.”

Brian rolled his eyes, but a hand caressed his hip. There was a war going on in Brian and Aaron would take the wins as they came. He knew he had pushed too hard recently, but this was progress.

“Don’t get all weird on me okay?”

Aaron leaned in and kissed Brian, gripping his hip, grounding the both of them. 

“Okay.” 

Aaron left it go for now. 

“We should go downstairs before they wonder where we are.” 

Aaron rolled off the bed grabbing his clothes and pulled them on quickly. Brian had gathered jeans and a tshirt and was quickly getting into them as well. When Brian took his hand Aaron tried not to be too surprised, he let it be and didn’t make a big deal of it. He knew if he did, Brian would back away. 

A few moments later they were in Aaron’s loft and didn’t see Tony or Justin. The sounds coming from Tony’s room told Aaron exactly what was going on. 

“I’ve never had Tony. He doesn’t like me, does he?”

“Tony?” Aaron looked towards the door as he checked on the meal in the oven. Tony had turned it down to keep it warm. Aaron pulled items out of the fridge and started to set the table. When he went back he grabbed a couple bottles of beer and handed one to Brian. 

“I think he likes you, Brian. The two of you haven’t really tried hard to get to know each other.”

“If, say, something were to happen?” Brian walked towards the couch and pulled Aaron along. “Would you get jealous?”

Aaron sat down, but Brian pushed him back then straddled his legs. 

“No. Tony is a good guy and I can say that I love him very much. He’s not just one of my best friends.”

“What happened?”

“Wrong time, couldn’t make it work, I was still grieving. A number of things went wrong.” 

“Am I to believe you are living together now and have not touched each other?”

“Contrary to what you believe, Brian, not all of us think with our cocks.” Aaron settled his hands on Brian’s waist and watched the smile on his lover’s face. 

“You didn’t say that a few minutes ago.” 

Brian leaned down and took Aaron’s mouth in a kiss so hot and sensual that Aaron couldn’t believe that his cock could respond so soon after. 

“If you two are going to fuck, please go to your room.” Tony was leaning on the couch and looked down at Aaron and Brian. 

“Why? They’re hot.”

Tony turned to Justin and pulled him into a headlock. 

“Oh yeah? How often do you watch them.”

Justin was laughing trying to get out of Tony’s hold. 

“Every chance I get. Unless they’re both fucking me. Then I don’t even think at that point.”

Tony looked down at Aaron who was blushing so red that he actually felt the heat in his face. 

“Can we eat now? I’m starving.” 

Brian and Justin started towards the kitchen, Brian having grabbed his beer, and went to go wait for the other two.

“That’s a good look.”

“What look?”

“You, being more open. Being willing to open yourself up to new experiences.” Aaron sat up and grabbed Tony by the shirt and pulled him forward. He placed a kiss on the corner of Tony’s mouth and sighed. 

“You know this is all crazy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you and I are going to keep this platonic?”

Tony leaned in and gave Aaron a real kiss. Aaron couldn’t help that his body responded to those familiar lips, and the hands curling in his hair. 

“Not in the least.”

_________________________

The case had stalled. No new bashings had occurred, but Aaron felt they were on the right track. He had one of his junior agents keeping an eye on Hobbs. Not knowing what else to do on the case, Aaron worked on the fraud files that his white collar guys were looking into. 

Gideon had to postpone coming out, they had a kidnapping case that took priority, but he called to say they had found the kid, thankfully, alive, and he would be arriving the next day.

It was midday when Simon came to him with some information. 

“Sir, I’ve been keeping an eye on Hobbs and I think I have something.”

Simon handed Aaron his action reports. Leaning back in his chair he looked them over, then rubbed at his temple.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Positive, Sir. I followed him driving by the building several times the last couple of weeks.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I’ll handle this.”

“Sir...” 

Aaron’s glare shut the young agent up.

“Alright.”

“Who is on him now?”

“Katie. She called in to say he was at his construction job for the whole afternoon. Went to lunch at Tully’s Diner, was there for an hour, then back to his job. No deviations.”

“Thank you, Simon.”

Simon left Aaron’s office. Looking at the folder, Aaron set it aside and contemplated what to do. First and foremost he wanted Justin safe. A part of him wanted to lie to Justin, to get him to go home for a while till Aaron could have his office take care of Hobbs. But, he didn’t want to lose the young man’s trust. 

Looking out his office window he saw that Justin was packing up for the day. Aaron knew he had a late class. He was so focused that he almost didn’t hear his phone ringing.

“Hotchner,” Aaron’s voice was more forceful than he had meant it to be.

“Now, is that any way to greet yer Mama?”

Aaron smiled softly as he leaned on his desk.

“Sorry, Mama. I was going over some reports. Why are you calling me at work?”

“Well, I’ll be comin’ to Pittsburgh, son. I have a multi-property deal and the developers liked my ideas.”

“Oh! Uh, I see.”

“You don’t want me in your territory? Is that it?” Aaron’s mother teased.

“No. No it isn’t that. I ah...I don’t have any room for you at my place right now.”

“Child, when have I evah expected you to entertain me? Don’t you worry now, the developer has arranged for a place for me to lay my head. But, ah do expect for you to go to dinnah with me every now and then.” Annabelle Eliza Hotchner never took no for an answer.

“I’d be happy to, Mama. Call me when you get settled and we’ll make arrangements.”

“You are not gettin’ rid of me that fast young man. Ah heard you put the house on the market.”

Aaron leaned back in his chair and waited a moment.

“I did. Are you upset about that?”

“No. I think it’s ‘bout time. I never understood your need to hold onto it. The past, Aaron Michael, is the past. No need to be holdin’ on.”

“Sean took what he wanted. Did you get anything you wanted?”

“There is nuthin’’ in that place that I want. I left with you and yah brother and three packed bags and ah nevah looked back. I want absolutely nuthin’ from yer Daddy.” 

Aaron heard the bitterness in his mother’s voice and knew the hell his father had put her through. Sean was the only one that came out of that place practically unscathed. He worshipped the ground their father walked. It took some time for Aaron and Sean to reconcile with each other and for Sean to accept the truth of the monster that their father was. 

“I’ll be goin’ up in a couple of weeks to meet with an appraiser. Sell everythin’ in one big lot. The money from the furniture and the house will be split between the trust and the charities.”

“That’s a good thing your doin’ Aaron Michael.”

Aaron knew the charities were a good thing. He was glad he had put Thomas as the executor of the estate and the trustee of the charitable foundations. He was carrying on the legacy of his grandparents. Aaron never understood his father’s hatred of his own parents. 

“Thank you, Mama. When do you think you’ll be down?”

“It’ll be a couple days. I’ll call when I arrive and we will meet for lunch. No arguments.”

“Then I’ll see ya then, Mama.”

Annabelle hung up and Aaron took a moment to settle. Phone conversations with his mother as of late had been emotional landmines for the both of them. 

Gathering up the files he wanted to work on that night, Aaron wanted to leave early. 

“Tara,” Aaron went to her desk to check on her. “Yer, Daddy is gonna be here tomorrow to go over this case with us. Are you gonna be okay?” Aaron leaned a hip on the corner that was clear of any files or personal items.

The smile that she gave Aaron had him frowning.

“What?”

“You were talking with your mother again, weren’t you.”

“Ah don’ know what yer talkin’ about.” 

“Ohh, boy. Boss, I think you need to listen to yourself. Of course it is sexy.”

“Tara!”

Tara burst out laughing and couldn’t hold back. Aaron glared at her, which made her laugh harder. It didn’t help when Tony came back to his desk after being in the archives for a while.

“What’s going on Boss?”

“Yer partner here thinks it’s funny when my mama calls and I can’t rightly help fallin’ back on mah accent.”

Tony sat so fast in his chair that he almost fell over. 

“Heh, well, I ah I gotta say Boss, it’s kinda strong after your conversations with your mother.”

“Why, are you blushing, Anthony?” Aaron stood up, turned around and smirked at his SIC.

Tony visibly swallowed as he looked up at Aaron.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe just, you have a certain effect. You know, on others.” Tony’s eyes widened as he looked down at his desk. “Oh look, I’ve got a new case. So I will see you at home.”

Aaron leaned down and decided to take a little advantage of Tony’s predicament.

“Oh, sugah, I cannot wait till ya’ come on home.”

“Now you’re just doing it on purpose.”

“Maybe ah am, maybe ahm not. You jus’ gonna have ta find out later now, aren’t you.”

“I hate you right now.”

Aaron chuckled as he grabbed his things and started to walk out of the office. He wanted to get home and just relax.

__________________

Stepping into his loft, Aaron did not expect to see what he was seeing. Strung across from one wall to the other were comic book panels. Feeling a bit confused on what was going on, he started towards his bedroom. Halfway there he looked over at his couch and saw a blond head laying on the armrest, and a dark head on the other. Setting his briefcase down and toeing off his shoes he walked over to see who was there. 

Justin was asleep on one half of his couch and Michael the other. Aaron was now even more confused than he was before. 

“Justin!” Aaron said sharply startling the young man awake. He smiled and rolled up on his knees, leaning up he kissed Aaron. It made Aaron laugh, but he still wanted to know what was going on. “What is all of this?” Aaron almost took a breath of relief, he had gotten control of his accent. He did not want to deal with any of Michaels negativity that would have come from it.

“This, this is our comic book.”

Aaron turned back to it and looked at a few of the panels. He raised a brow and was impressed. 

“You both were at this a while.”

“All night. We were in Brian’s place and just started to talk. It was strange how this all came together and before we knew it, we had half of a comic done. Brian was being a dick, so we came down here. I used the key you gave me, hope you don’t mind.”

“This is really good, at least what I read. But, why are some of them wrinkled?”

Justin stood up, which made Michael wake. 

“Oh. Sorry. He didn’t tell me this was  _ your _ place.” Michael sat up and rubbed at his face. 

“I don’t know what bug crawled up your ass, Michael, but as long as you are in my place, at least show some respect that I know your mother tried to instill in you.” Aaron moved to his room and quickly changed into running pants and a t-shirt. 

When he came back out, Justin was taking down the panels and putting them in order. 

“Brian got jealous and threw a tantrum. I don’t get what his problem is.” Justin sighed as he checked each panel. 

“The problem is his lover, and his best friend, in his mind, should not cross. He sees each of you as his, but doesn’t mean that you should mix.”

Michael frowned and pouted a little, which annoyed the fuck out of Aaron. He always thought that a grown man should not pout.

“That’s just stupid.” 

“Well, Michael, I’ve come to observe that you put Justin down every chance you get. Justin likes to make you crazy because of your piss-poor attitude. So you never got to fuck your best friend, get over it and grow up. I believe that Brian is just responding to how the two of you act. He could keep you separate, but now, he probably isn’t sure how to take you two getting along enough to create something unique.” 

Justin moved towards the kitchen and grabbed some water from the fridge. Michael stood there stunned and wide-eyed at Aaron. 

“What gives you the right to talk to me like that?”

“For one, you’re in my home. Two, you are one of the things holding Brian back from truly growing up. Your passive-aggressive bullshit, your gaslighting, the way you twist Brian around thinking that he can’t survive without you. Three, the way you treat Justin. If Brian is really your best friend, you’d let him live his life without your constant commentary on how he’s fucking up all the time. You berate him nicely, which damages his own self-esteem. Why do you think that he believes that fucking everything in sight is okay? It’s because his own self worth has been torn to shreds and you, Michael are part of the problem.” 

Aaron walked to his kitchen and pulled out a bottle of water himself. He leaned back against his counter and waited. 

“Well, you know what? We were doing just fine without you in our lives. You can just go crawl back to wherever you came from and leave us alone.”

“You mean, stop calling you out on your bullshit.” Aaron took a long swallow of water and tilted his head. “Don’t believe that you are capable of winning any kind of argument with me, Michael. I’ve taken apart serial killers that would make your stomach turn. I learned interrogation from the best and you are no match for me.” Aaron waited a beat before smiled sweetly at Michael, “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Fuck you.” Michael glared as he stomped towards the door grabbing his things as he went. Aaron turned to see a barely controlled Justin waiting to burst out laughing. 

“I have never seen someone take him down like that.”

“He’s an entitled twat.” Aaron set his water down and pulled open the freezer taking out one of the lasagna’s that Tony had made the previous weekend. Getting it in the oven on low to thaw first, then he would turn it up to cook through.

“I think he does love Brian in a way, but it’s possessive. Michael doesn’t want Brian happy because  _ he  _ isn’t happy,” Justin said as he continued to clean up the scattered pages of the comic.

Aaron listened as he pulled other things out of the fridge for a salad on the side and the focaccia dough. Tony had taught Aaron what to do with his food when they had been together previously. Aaron loved Tony’s Italian food, much of it was very authentic. Tony had spent a couple of years in Italy after he had been injured while playing college football. He had tracked down some relatives and went and stayed with them learning the language and how to cook the families favorites. Now, Tony spent many Sunday’s pre-cooking things that could be frozen and easily reheated.

“When did you get so good at observing people?”

Justin shrugged as he sat on one of the stools.

“Just always something I’ve done. Don’t listen to Michael, you’ve been good for Brian.”

The door opened as he was punching down the dough and stretching it out into a rough circle. He brushed on some olive oil, and covered the dough with a mixture of herbs, dried red pepper, salt and pepper. When it was about three-fourths through cooking, Aaron would sprinkle some fresh parmesan and mozzarella.

“That looks good.” Tony kissed Aaron on his cheek as he came into the kitchen. He saw the drawings stacked together on the edge of the counter and looked through them. “Justin, this is amazing.” Tony’s enthusiastic smile had Justin blushing. 

“You really think so?”

“I do. I love the name and a gay superhero is awesome.”

“Thank you, Tony. That means a lot.”

Justin looked around the flat, jumped down off the stool he was sitting on then moved to one corner of the open space. 

“You know, if you put in some stairs up to Brian’s, we could kind of combine the two places.”

“That is a lot of work. We’d need to get an architect and an engineer in here, and Brian would need to agree to have his floor cut out.” Aaron washed his hands then walked over to where Justin was standing. Aaron looked at the space and agreed that it could work, but he wasn’t sure if Brian would agree to such a thing. “We would have to have a long conversation with Brian, but I like the idea.”

Aaron smiled at Justin as he turned back towards the kitchen to finish working on dinner. 

Tony had gone to his room to change when there was a knock on the door. Tony moved towards the door and opened it. He was surprised to see Brian there.

“This is where he is.” Brian moved towards Justin, his eyes landing on the comic pages. “I take it you came down here to hide?”

“Not hide, Bri. I didn’t want to deal with your jealous bullshit. You have to know that I would never, ever sleep with Michael. He’s not my type.” 

Brian sighed as he pulled something out of his coat pocket and handed it to Justin.

“Yeah well, Debbie handed my ass to me. I admit that it’s good and it was childish of me to act like I did.”

Justin’s smile was contagious. It made the other’s smile as well.

“You think it’s good?”

“I do.” Brian leaned in and kissed Justin, then turned to see Tony and Aaron being not so subtle.

“What?”

Aaron lifted his brow as he leaned forward.

“I think that is the most adult I have ever seen you.” He gave Brian a quick kiss then turned back to check on the lasagna. He turned up the heat to let it finish. “Want to stay for dinner? Vegetable lasagna, focaccia, and salad. Simple, but Tony’s lasagna has been know to change your whole life.”

Brian laughed and leaned on the counter and watched Tony.

“Is that so?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Well, I can’t pass up the opportunity now can I?”

Aaron watched the flirting and just rolled his eyes. A part of him wondered, though. If Tony and Brian started something, would it help to curb Brian’s promiscuousness? Aaron knew Brian was most likely never going to be monogamous, but if the four of them could make some kind of go of what was slowly building, maybe it would be enough for Brian.

Aaron was quiet most of the evening as his thoughts turned inward. He had carried his wine glass to the couch and stretched out.

“You’ve been quiet all night. Something wrong?” Brian asked as he sat down after lifting Aaron’s legs up, then settling them on his lap. 

Tilting his head a little, Aaron took a few sips of wine, heard Tony’s door closing and lifted a brow.

“Kid is sex-crazed. Don’t know what I’m going to do with him.”

Aaron laughed, almost choking on his wine. The rare genuine smile he got from Brian was breathtaking. Aaron leaned over and set his glass down, the reached out to curl his fingers with Brian’s.

“I was just wondering.”

“Are you going to make me play twenty questions?” 

“No. But I don’t want you to get upset.”

“Ohh, one of  _ those _ talks.”

Aaron tilted his head down a little before looking up again.

“I noticed you and Tony flirting more. Got me thinking. It’s crazy, and it might never work, but this thing between the four of us is growing. I wonder if we’d be enough for you.”

Brian pulled Aaron’s hand up to his mouth and kissed each knuckle. 

“The more time I spend here, with you, with the kid, fucking strangers in a backroom of a dance club begins to lose its appeal. I don’t know, Aaron, but maybe I’m willing to try as long as you don’t push.”

“Brian, I’m still onboard with our agreement. It’s worked out so far.” 

“Sometimes I don’t understand you.” Brian leaned into the corner of the couch, pulling his hand back. Aaron was going to give him his space, but let him know he was there.


	9. Chapter Eight

 

_ Help I'm alive, My heart keeps beating like a hammer, Hard to be soft, Tough to be tender, Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train, Help I'm alive, My heart keeps beating like a hammer, Beating like a hammer, by Metric, Help I’m Alive _

Aaron knew he needed to tell the others about Hobbs. He just wasn’t sure how because he didn’t want to scare Justin. He already had one of the locals he had built a good relationship with driving by a few times a day. He also knew that his agents would help if he asked them too. Aaron just had not realised how difficult it was going to be.

“Hey, where did you go?” Aaron felt a hand on his neck and dark eyes looking intensely at him. Brian looked concerned.

“There’s something you guys should know, but I don’t know how to say this.” 

Justin and Tony were on the loveseat playing a racing game. Aaron preferred open-world role-playing games. He was currently almost ninety hours into Morrowind. 

“Maybe you should just tell us.” Tony turned around after turning off the game console, Justin slid into Tony’s lap. 

Aaron leaned forward, taking a few breaths to keep himself calm.

“There is evidence that Hobbs has been driving down this block several times a day.”

Aaron looked to see the blood drain out of Justin’s face. Tony kept his arm around Justin and held him close.

“I already have agents on him watching his every move. They are monitoring where he goes. I promise you Justin, he will not harm you again. I won’t let him.”

“You can’t promise that, Aaron.”

Brian was up and pacing, pain, guilt, and shame flitted over his face and it reminded Aaron that he had not talked Brian into seeing someone to help him work through what happened with Justin.

“Yes, actually I can. I have a local I trust coming by to check on us. I have agents in shifts following him. I have people watching out for all of us. He is not going to hurt us.” Aaron stood and knelt next to Tony and Justin. He cupped Justin’s cheek and made him look Aaron in the eye. “I promise you, he will not hurt you ever again.”

Justin slid off Tony and down into Aaron’s lap. Aaron wrapped his arms around the teen and held him close. He would do everything in his power to keep his promise. He kissed the top of Justin’s head, and let his eyes wander up to Tony’s. He could tell his SIC was thinking the same. Keep Justin safe. 

“You better keep your word.” Brian was pacing around and Aaron saw the worry in every line of his body. He knew Brian wouldn’t admit how truly worried he was.

“I always keep my word.” 

Brian left without a word and Aaron knew he needed time to settle. He wasn’t sure what the man was going to do, his normal MO when he was hurt or upset was to run to Babylon and fuck everyone he could. Aaron was worried but knew if he ran after Brian right now, it would push the fragile beginnings of what was happening with the foursome. 

“Do you want to go with Brian?”

Justin shook his head no and buried himself closer against Aaron. Slipping a hand in Justin’s hair, Aaron just wrapped an arm around him.

“I’ll go. I’ll keep him out of trouble.”

Aaron just lifted a brow and knew if anyone could charm someone out of their fear and anger, it was one Tony DiNozzo. Tony went to his room, which gave Aaron the chance to prod Justin onto the couch, with Aaron laying down first, then Justin doing his best imitation of an octopus. 

Tony came out a few moments later dressed to catch any man’s eye, but Aaron knew he would catch Brian’s.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful leaving, and when I bring the idiot home, we’ll be careful coming up.”

“Thank you, Tone.”

Tony bent down and kissed Aaron, then kissed the top of Justin’s head before he headed out.

Aaron knew this whole situation was bringing up a lot for Justin, he would be patient and wait for the young man to talk to him. 

“Do you know that he never once came into my room in the hospital. I was so mad at him, yet for some stupid reason I loved him still. The one thing he never did was make me any promises, even after I got better and we made agreements.” Justin lifted his head, scooted up Aaron’s body and looked directly in his eyes. “Don’t promise me something that you know you might not be able to keep.”

Aaron lifted his hands and held Justin’s face. Gently he stroked Justin’s cheeks, letting himself calm the thoughts that were swirling around in his head. 

“I don’t make my promises lightly, Justin. I am doing everything I can to keep you and Brian safe. Tony knows what to do, and yes we are trained to protect ourselves. I know it doesn’t  mean that he nor I won’t get hurt because our jobs are not exactly the safest. But, I know I am doing everything in my power to keep us all safe.”

Justin kept looking Aaron in the eyes, then sighed as he laid his head down on Aaron’s chest. 

“You better keep your promise.” 

Aaron felt Justin drifting off to sleep in his arms. The drama of the evening wearing out the youngest member of their foursome. Aaron placed a kiss on the top of Justin’s head and hoped to whatever deities were listening that he could keep his promise. 

The next day was going to be interesting as both his mentor and his mother were showing up. He knew his mother was going to want to come to the loft just to see how he was doing. Aaron wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, or for asking her about having a staircase built that went up to Brian’s loft. For some reason that one change was making all of this very real in Aaron’s head. For all of his talks with Brian a part of him was scared as well. This had the potential to go very badly, and he would lose not one, but three people he cared very deeply for. Aaron tried not to dwell on just how complicated his life had become, he would take one day at a time, one crises or drama at a time and work hard to keep them all together. Aaron realised that evening that what was happening around him was the building of a family. Four lost boys whose fathers had either irrevocably hurt them or abandoned them trying to find love, hope, and family in other ways. 

Aaron let his hands wander over Justin’s back knowing he wasn’t ready for sleep, his worry over Brian and where he went or what he was doing, Hobbs and if he was going to strike or just try to cause fear, Jason and his visit tomorrow to hopefully give his insight, and his mother. All of this was happening all at once and Aaron wasn’t sure where to focus his attention.

Aaron closed his eyes to try to calm the rambling thoughts in his head, and to attempt to stave off the headache that was building behind his eyes. Justin didn’t stir at all which Aaron was grateful for. 

The sound of a key unlocking the door didn’t startle Aaron, he would wait to see who it was before he did anything. The door slid open and Justin stirred, looking towards the voices coming from that direction. Aaron was almost surprised to hear Brian with Tony as they walked into his loft.

“Hey.” Justin couldn’t quite keep the sleepiness out of his voice.

“Hey yourself. Come on, why don’t we go upstairs and I’ll put you to bed.” Tony walked over and ruffled Justin’s hair as he slid off of Aaron, but not before giving him a peck on the side of Aaron’s mouth.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” Justin teased as he leaned into Tony’s body, who just chuckled at the sleepy look on Justin’s face. 

“We’ll be upstairs, most likely sleeping as I’m worn out. Don’t kill each other. I kind of like both of you.” Tony smirked as he turned away with his charge.

After the door shut, Brian and Aaron stared at each other for a few moments. 

“Don’t promise me anything. Don’t promise you’ll protect the kid. Don’t do that because you and I both know that is a promise you can’t keep.” Brian leaned up against the kitchen counter, ankles crossed and arms crossed over his chest.

“Alright.” Aaron waited because he sensed there was more that Brian wanted to say.

“You know I left here with one goal in mind. Get to Babylon, smoke a joint and find someone to fuck. Michael was there and I got the first and what do you think happened when I held it in my hand? Your voice asking me not to do drugs. No demands, no ultimatums, just one simple request. I gave it back to Mikey and went downstairs and started dancing. 

“There were the  _ hottest _ men there,” Brian use hand gestures and body language to emphasize his words. “And I was dancing, getting lost in the music, getting hard from the bump and grind. I look into this strangers face and I could just  _ tell _ he wanted to fuck. For me to take him, make him sweat and work for it, and I  _ wanted the same fucking thing. _ I wanted to forget, to make all of these feelings to go the fuck away.”

Brian looked over at Aaron who watched and listened patiently as Brian paced. At first Aaron was worried Brian had taken something by the way he was moving so fast back and forth across the loft.

“So I take this guy downstairs and slam him against the wall and it felt so fucking good.” Brian closed his eyes a moment and let a small shudder run through his body. “I shoved those tight pants that did very good things for his ass, turned him to face the wall and then...”

Aaron stood and took a step towards Brian, seeing his eyes shining and wild. He knew he needed to let Brian wind down, but he also wanted to show that he was listening, and that he was there.

“Then your face was right here looking at me. Trusting, letting me be a complete asshole because you are so fucking patient and understanding and in that moment...” Brian stopped and took a few steps closer to Aaron. He reached out and touched his fingers to Aaron’s face. “In that moment I knew if I fucked this man that I wouldn’t be hurting you, I would be hurting myself.

“I never wanted these  _ feelings _ . Yet, here they are, and here you are and you are just so goddamned agreeable to all of my stupid rules. You should have run screaming from me. Everyone else does.”

The pain on Brian’s face had Aaron closing the small gap still between them. Tentatively he reached out and wrapped a hand around Brian’s waist and pulled him closer. 

“You are so much more than you realise, Brian. I’ve never been afraid of the hard road and dammit, you are the hardest road I’ve ever travelled. But, and I want you to hear me, to really  _ hear _ me, Brian. You are worth every single moment. I saw through your bullshit the night we met. I saw  _ you _ . A man who has had people stomp all over him enough that he created this persona. You started to believe it to keep yourself safe. 

“None of this is safe, but what we have, what we are building it’s honest. No games. I’m going to say something and I know you may not be ready to hear it, but I will say it a hundred times a day till you really believe it. I love you. I know it’s crazy, and I know I may be a little insane, but I love you.” Aaron laid his other hand over Brian’s heart and looked him in the eye. “I know you aren’t ready to say it, but you are worth the wait.”

Aaron leaned in and held Brian right where he wanted him and kissed him. Aaron poured all his emotions into that kiss and felt the moment when Brian began to return them. Aaron knew he had to give something of himself to Brian after all of the sacrifices Brian was making for him. He had only let Brian take him the one time because for him, it was an incredibly intimate act. Aaron had always let himself become vulnerable and open when he let another in that closely. It was past time for him to let Brian see just how willing he was to be vulnerable for  _ him. _

“Take me to bed. I want to feel you inside me.”

Brian looked in Aaron’s face and whatever Aaron was showing him had him agreeing. They stripped each other, but it was slow and almost shy on both their parts. There was something bigger than themselves that was between them at this moment and neither man wanted to break the spell. 

Aaron crawled backwards on the bed and slid a pillow under his hips. There was utter silence in the room. The only noises were those that Aaron was making as Brian was gently taking him apart. They explored each other as if this was the first time they had ever been together and when Brian finally breached Aaron, there was no pain. 

Brian pushed Aaron’s legs up and bent down to get to Aaron’s lips, kissing him as he slowly moved his hips in an erotic slow dance, but Aaron knew what it was. Brian was saying with his body what he couldn’t with his words. The gentle cresting of Aaron’s orgasm was almost soul deep as Brian kept going. A few moments later Aaron felt the pulsing of Brian’s cock buried inside him as he too found his release. 

No words were spoken as Brian collapsed next to Aaron, wrapped around him, Aaron didn’t say a word as he felt warm tears on his shoulder. Wishing he could do more, Aaron just held Brian knowing they should clean up, but that could come later. The here and now was more important as Brian clung to him. Aaron knew Brian was on the precipice of breaking down his own view of himself and Aaron would be there to help him every step of the way.

____________________________

Morning came too quickly as Aaron cracked his eyes open, feeling himself almost trapped in the bed by arms and legs that held him close. Brian was behind him acting as the big spoon, which Aaron didn’t mind at all. It felt good and not just physically. 

“I can’t seem to want to get out of bed this morning.” Brian rumbled in Aaron’s ear. “Are you sure we can’t just blow everything off and stay right here?” Brian nipped at the back of Aaron’s neck and shivered a little. 

“Mmm, I wish we could. But Jason Gideon is showing up today. I think with his help we can move faster on this case. And...I’m meeting my Mother for lunch.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Then tonight she’s coming over for dinner. There is no obligation to meet her. I won’t push that on you.  _ IF _ you would like to, the invitation is open, but I’ll understand if you don’t feel ready.”

Brian was silent and Aaron had no expectations of him saying anything. 

“I’m going to shower,” Brian said instead. Aaron knew both of them were still raw emotionally from the night before. He let Brain have his distance and figured he would need time to process, or bury, Aaron wasn’t sure which he was going to do. But, he had a bet that Brian was processing and no longer burying. 

Grabbing sweats, Aaron pulled them on and walked out to see Tony puttering in the kitchen. Walking up to him, Aaron wrapped himself around Tony and laid his head on the back of Tony’s shoulders.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

Tony turned off the pan he was heating up and turned in Aaron’s arms. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry for ever being an asshole.”

Tony cocked his head to the side as he gently pushed Aaron towards the other side of the kitchen till Aaron had his back against the Island counter. 

“You were never an asshole, Aaron.”

“Yeah, I was. When we were together before...” Tony laid two fingers on Aaron’s lips.

“You were still grieving an incredible loss and didn’t know how to deal with all those feelings.”

Aaron gripped Tony’s wrist tightly in his hand and pulled it away from his face.

“No, I need to say this Tone. I need to stop hiding and pushing all of this down. Not facing what happened to Haley and Jack made me cold inside. I made myself not feel anything because I didn’t want to be hurt again. I thought Trevor leaving me in college was the worst thing I had ever experienced, but Haley...

“There were no words I had for that pain, none. You have no idea what it’s like to see a child at the age he would have been and wonder what he would have been like. It’s a pain that does not ever heal. I took that out on you, Tony. I was a controlling bastard and I know I hurt you in ways that you should have never forgiven me for, but hell. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last few months and I don’t ever want to see the fear and confusion I put in your eyes.”

Tony closed his eyes and laid his head down on Aaron’s shoulder, holding him close. 

“What the hell happened between you two last night?” 

“Some hard truths were spoken and it made me reevaluate our relationship. There is so much we need to talk about, Tone.”

“Can’t we just say it was in the past and move on?”

Tony lifted his head from Aaron’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. 

“No. The only way for us to move on and to make all of this work is honesty. Even telling Brian and Justin because they should know about before. They are in this too and I don’t ever want to lie to any of you about anything.”

Tony looked Aaron in the eye for a full minute before he leaned in and kissed Aaron. 

“Alright we’ll talk to them about our past. Now, go take a shower while I fix breakfast.” 

Aaron let Tony go and just watched him for a moment, then felt eyes on him. He turned to see Brian watching him with an unreadable look on his face. He wondered how much Brian heard, but it didn’t matter for now, talking would come soon. 

Aaron pushed off the counter and started towards the bathroom, but was caught by Brian. 

“Tony’s right. Whatever is your past is in the past.”

“I think it’s important for you and Justin to know. Believe it or not, the reason I understand you so well, Brian, is because I was you for a while. Just, not a particularly nice version.”

Brian watched as Aaron walked away towards the bathroom and Aaron knew this road he was on with Brian, as well as Tony and Justin, was as much about facing his own truth as it was about Brian facing his. Facing the terrible things he had done as well as the ones Jackson had been there to stop him from doing. He stepped into the shower and let the hot water cascade over him keeping the stormy thoughts and emotions at bay. By the time he was done Aaron felt more in control of his thoughts and emotions. Aaron hoped that when his mentor got there they could figure out how to find definite proof that Hobbs was the attacker. 

Getting dressed, then breakfast with all four of them seated around the table, for Justin had stumbled downstairs to see where everyone was, Aaron looked at his companions feeling emotions he had locked away after Haley’s death. A part of him felt lighter than he had felt in years. 

____________________

Aaron arrived early at the office with Tony and Justin in tow. Justin went to the small bunker near the lockers to get a little more shut eye before he had to start work at 7:30. Aaron wanted to get some work done before Jason showed up, and he wanted to talk to his old mentor before Jason asked to speak with Justin. 

Tony got down to working on reports left for him of Hobbs, Aaron was having Tony compiling the data while he looked for a way to legally gain entrance to Hobbs house. With so little evidence they needed some kind of break. The bashings had appeared to stop, but Aaron wondered if they would start up again if he pulled his agents back, and was he willing to take that chance. This was going on way too long and the agency had other more pressing cases to look into, but he didn’t want to be made out a liar. The public expected him to find the perpetrator and that was just what he was going to do.

A knock on his door had Aaron looking up then smiling.

“Jason. So good of you to come up and help with this. I have all of the case files and the boards set up in one of the conference rooms. Come on, I’ll show you.”

Aaron knew that Jason always wanted to get right to it, but when a hand stopped him he turned towards Jason and lifted a brow.

“Slow down, Hotch. We’ll get to that in a minute.”

“But...”

“I want to know how you are doing.”

“I’m fine, why?” Aaron was thrown, he should have expected that. Jason could be, at times, unpredictable. 

“Hotch.” Jason had a way of saying someone’s name that had them wondering what the man wanted. It was like he could and couldn’t see into you at the same time. Aaron sighed a little and moved back towards his desk, then Jason walked in and sat in a chair across from him. 

“Alright, I’m doing better than I had been. Getting this office going, training Reid, having Tony here it’s been...enlightening.”

“I’ve heard good things. But I heard that you are under a lot of pressure from the Governor to get this case of yours solved.”

“Keeping tabs on me?”

Jason sat back and popped a toothpick in his mouth and stared at Aaron with the most inscrutable look on his face. 

“Of course. Did you expect anything less?”

Aaron sighed as leaned back. 

“Yes, the Governor is on me about this case. I need to get it solved and these people need justice.”

Aaron looked up as Justin was making his way to his desk and pulled a new stack of files to be added to the internal database. 

“Hm.”

Aaron turned sharply to look at Jason. 

“You be careful, Aaron.”

“What?” Aaron mentally pulled on that stoic mask he was so famous for as he looked at Jason.

“You can’t fool an old profiler now.”

Aaron got up and closed his curtain and shut the door then sat back down. 

“It’s complicated and my private life has nothing to do with this case or any case that we deal with. Justin needed a job so that he wasn’t tricking himself out to customers at a dance club.”

“Right, Hotch. But, if it got out...”

“He’s of age and none of your business other than he is a victim of Hobbs.”

Jason stood and paced for a moment, then leaned back against the wall. 

“You have got to watch yourself Aaron. Letting in a boy that you’re...having a relationship with into this office can get you into trouble if anyone looks too closely.”

“This is about me coming out to the Director, isn’t it?”

Aaron glared at Jason as he pushed back from his desk.

“You know the Bureau doesn’t care. There are just as many agents who are gay or bi as there are straight. But, you also know that those agents are often put under scrutiny. You work on the edge of a large gay community. You held a press conference on the steps of a diner that caters to the gay community,” Jason moved and planted his hands on Aaron’s desk and leaned forward. “You bought your loft on the outskirts of the gay community and are selling many art pieces at a gallery...”

“I get it. I am doing good work here, Gideon. This office was a mess and these agents are good agents. They have given me 110% and I was honest with them from the first day I was here. If the Bureau has a problem they can go fuck themselves. I would never do anything to jeopardize my reputation, or the reputation of the Agency. “

Aaron was trying to keep the anger he was feeling towards Jason under control. He had asked the man here to help with the Hobbs case, not to get a lecture. 

“I’m no longer your student, Gideon. I know what I’m doing and I would very much appreciate it if you would stay out of my personal life. Now, if you want to look at the case files, then follow me. If not, then you can just go back to DC.”

“Hotch...”

Aaron had stood up and was walking towards the door when Gideon said his name.

“Look, I know somewhere in your head you think you are looking out for me, but I care very much for that young man. Like some of us, he’s had to grow up fast and he’s brilliant and talented and I am grateful he is someone in my life I can count on.” Aaron and Gideon stared at each other for far too long, then Aaron flung the door open and strode out of his office, Gideon right behind him. 

Aaron showed Gideon the conference room where everything about the case was housed then he left Gideon alone and strode quickly back to his office and almost slammed the door shut, but he caught himself before he did. Sitting back down he got to work on some of the completed case files from other teams that had been left for him. When lunch time rolled around he left without a word. He knew both Tony and Justin were going to corner him later that night, but right at that moment he needed the space to calm down. Plus, he had a date to keep with his mother.


	10. Chapter Nine

 

_ You can live your life lonely, Heavy as stone, Live your life learning, And working alone _

_ Say this is all you want, But I don't believe that it's true, 'Cause when you least expect it _

_ Waiting round the corner for you, Love comes quickly, whatever you do _

_ You can't stop falling... Pet Shop Boys, Love Come Quickly _

 

Justin had left the office about an hour before Aaron as he had the lunch shift at the diner. Aaron was actually a little on edge and wondered what in the hell made him suggest Liberty Diner as the place to go have lunch with his mother. There was nothing for it now, he needed to pull on his big boy pants, as Tony liked to say, and get on with it. After parking, Aaron stepped out and smoothed down his tie and pulled his coat around him to try to cut the chill in the air.

Walking in he looked around, saw Ted and Emmett, waved and looked towards the window where he saw his mom looking at the menu with a smile on her face. Aaron frowned and wondered what that smile meant. 

“Mr. FBI, it’s unusual to see you in here,” Debbie smiled at him, “In a suit. Not used to seeing you in...normal clothes.” Deb chuckled as she followed him towards the table. 

“Yes, well I am on the job.”

The thing that Aaron had learned about Debbie Novotny over the last few months was that she has a huge heart, but sometimes her words and actions were jarring. For some strange reason he actually liked the woman, even if he thought her son was a complete jackass.

“Hey, I know you’re still tryna figure this terrible business out. Thank you.”

“I’m just grateful that no new incidents have been reported, even if that makes my job a little harder.”

“You’ve also gotten to Brian. I always hoped that boy would settle down and ... well he didn’t have it so easy, you know. And, I know what you think of Michael...”

“Deb..”

“No, no I know my son and what a little shit he can be. I blame myself. I made a lot of mistakes and excuses for his behavior. I just...”

“You’re his mother. And, Michael is a grown man that needs to learn to let go of a teenage crush. I see a lot of myself in Brian and his relationship with Michael, and I can’t really speak for them, and I would never tell Brian who he can and can’t be friends with.”

Deb smiled at Aaron then patrons were calling out for things Deb was supposed to bring them. 

“You just take your seat hun and I’ll be right over.”

Aaron nodded then moved the last few feet towards the table his mother was at. Annabelle looked up and smiled softly as she stood.

“Aaron Michael, you look bettah, mor’ settled.” Annabelle laid a hand on his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

“Mama,” Aaron sighed and held her close a moment taking in her usual scent of Jasmine and Magnolias. It was a comforting scent, one he always associated with her. 

“Now, sit down and tell yer mama everything.”

Aaron opened his mouth to start talking when Justin walked over, set down a cup and poured the coffee in his hand into the cup, smirking at Aaron the whole time. 

“Do you need a few minutes?” Justin bit his lip as he kept that sarcastic little smile on his face. 

“Yes, thank you, Justin.” Aaron had caught himself almost calling the young man Sunshine. 

“Just wave and I’ll come right on over.” 

Aaron visibly swallowed trying to stop the heat he felt in his cheeks. He vowed to get Justin back later that night. 

“Ma’am, would you like a refill?”

“As long as you are done flirtin’ with mah son, young man.” Annabelle almost laughed at the brilliant smile that crossed Justin’s face. 

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll ever be done flirting with Aaron, ma’am.” Justin finished filling her cup then actually  _ sashayed _ away from the table. Aaron definitely decided that Justin needed a good spanking, and those thoughts he did not need while at lunch with his mother.

“Aaron Michael,” Annabelle hissed under her breath.

“Mama, don’t. I already got a lecture from Gideon.”

Annabelle sipped her coffee and shook her head as she set it down. 

“Ah just don’t want to see you doin’ somethin’ that could hurt you.”

“Ah know, Mama, but...” Aaron scrubbed his face, side-eyed Justin and just watched him for a moment. “It’s complicated.”

“Child the day your life isn’t complicated would be cause for celebration. Ah know you have not had it easy, lordy I tried mah best for you and your brotha. I know I stayed with that bastard too long and you...” Annabelle’s big blue eyes filled as she sipped her coffee. After composing herself she smiled sadly, “You suffered and no amount of I’m sorry’s will evah make up for it.”

Aaron smiled softly as he reached out and took his mother’s hand and held it a moment. 

“Mama, you don’t have to keep apologizing to me. Ah know how scared you were to leave Daddy, but you found the strength to leave him and ah admire that. You did an amazing job with Sean and myself. Ah admire you, you know.”

“Aaron,” Annabelle let a little sob escape as she dabbed at her eyes. “Ahm glad you believe so. Now, what’s good here?” 

Aaron and his mother were too much alike. They both shut down on their emotions when it got too hard or too much. He would let her have this, talking about his father and that time in his life always picked at scars that he would rather leave alone.

Debbie came over and took their orders then left. 

“If you can, would you like to come over for suppah? Tony was going to fix one of your favorites. Sunday dinner pot roast.”

“You’re buttering me up, aren’t you?” Annabelle smiled a smile that was almost an exact copy of Aaron’s. 

“Ah do want to ask you something, but it will have ‘ta wait ‘til you come by.”

Aaron could see his mother wanted to ask, but their food arrived and conversation lulled. Aaron became a little nervous because he wasn’t sure what his mother was going to think of his current love life or the favor he wanted to ask. 

“Tony and Ah should be home around 7. Why don’t we plan on 7:30.”

“Ah will be there. Now Ah gotta head back. Negotiatin’ contracts was never mah favorite part of mah job. Now, I’ll see you tonight.” Annabelle stood and gave Aaron a kiss on his forehead. “I love you and you know ah will always support you.”

“Thank you mama.” Aaron knew she always would, but it didn’t calm his nerves. 

Aaron stood up and paid for the food. Debbie had dropped off a to go cup of coffee for him. 

“Your mother is a lovely woman.” Debbie smiled as she took the money, Aaron told her to keep the change.

“She’s had it hard. Built her own company from scratch with two babies at home. Ah don’t rightly know how she did it. We nevah wanted for anything, she often sacrificed in the beginning.” Aaron took a deep breath and looked up at something on the wall to give him a moment to calm his own emotions.

“We do whatever we have to for our children.” Debbie laid a hand on his arm and Aaron looked down towards her. 

“Well, Ah need to get back. Make sure the office hasn’t been torn apart, not sure if it was a good idea to leave Tony and my old boss alone together.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Justin ran around the counter and told Debbie he was taking five. Taking Aaron’s arm, Justin walked Aaron out to the sidewalk. 

“You did not have to walk me out.”

“I did, just wanted to give you a proper goodbye.” Justin tipped up on his toes and kissed Aaron. “You looked like you needed that.”

Aaron smiled and gently ran a finger over Justin’s jaw.

“Thank you. Now, I really have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”

Justin smiled and practically bounced back inside the diner. Aaron watched and shook his head knowing his heart had betrayed him. He had gone a fallen for the two most unlikely men he had ever met. With too many thoughts swirling in his head, Aaron headed back to the office, hoping that Tony and Gideon hadn’t torn into each other.

___________________________

Aaron knew he shouldn’t have been worried about Tony and Gideon, he should have been worried about Tara and Gideon. When he walked towards his office, he heard the shouting coming from the conference room that had the bashing case housed. Sighing, he moved in there to find out what was going on.

“I’m telling you, Jason, we have a suspect. His name is Chris Hobbs and we believe that Justin Taylor’s attack was the catalyst. Why are you fighting me on this?”

“Because you haven’t looked at any other possible suspects.”

“ _ There are no other possible suspects. _ Don’t you get it? We have no motives, no DNA, no fingerprints, nothing. There is no physical evidence.”

“Which is why you should expand your investigation. Have you cross checked all of the victims to find any patterns?”

Aaron had not seen Spencer in the other end of the room till he spoke.

“Yes, Gideon. We’ve cross checked, and double cross checked. You see the geographical profile for yourself. We have too much crossing between all the victims as they are all young, gay men. They all fall in the age range that Justin is. Only three...” Spencer stood and crossed to the board and pointed out the older victims. “Are older. We think this was done either as a countermeasure, or they were frustrated and went after whoever they found that night. The only motive that connects them all is that they are gay.”

Gideon saw Aaron standing there leaning in the doorway.

“You agree that its Hobbs?”

“I do, or at least he is a suspect. Our analyst has done a thorough job in finding out as much information as possible.”

“And if you are wrong?”

“Then we are wrong and have to pursue other avenues, but at the moment we don’t have anything more than the muddled eye witness accounts.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Take Spencer.”

Gideon looked at Spencer then nodded. Aaron knew that Gideon admired the genius, but he also knew if Spencer went back to the BAU that Gideon would end up using the boy up and eventually tossing him aside. While Aaron admired Gideon, he wasn’t so young that he didn’t see through the older profilers bullshit. Aaron hoped that Spencer didn’t get infatuated too much by Gideon, the man could be, at times, mesmerizing.

“Come on, Spencer. Let’s see what we can get out of this Hobbs kid.”

Gideon stood and walked out the door. Aaron stopped Spencer before he went off with Gideon.

“Be careful, Spencer. Gideon can sometimes draw you in and make you believe he has your best at heart.”

“Hotch, I’ve known professors like Jason Gideon. If they didn’t pull me in, he won’t. I admit I admire him. He’s brilliant and I can learn a lot from him, but I’m not interested in going back to the BAU for quite some time.”

Aaron smiled and gently patted Spencer on the shoulder, then let Spencer go.

Both Tara and Aaron watched the two men leave.

“I’m surprised you kept as calm as you did. Though I could hear you from the elevators.”

“I’m sorry. I just...”

“You want him to listen to you like Gibbs does. You have a very complicated parental history, Tara. I don’t blame you for wanting the both of them to see you for who you are, but Jason,” Aaron sighed and shook his head. “He has a reputation for always wanting to be right, even when he’s wrong. Don’t try so hard. Just be yourself not what he wants you to be.”

“I will, Aaron.” Tara turned around to go back to her desk. Aaron couldn’t help worrying about her while Gideon was there. Leaving the conference room, he went back to his own office to get as much done as he could before he had to go home for the evening.

Walking in the door just before 7 p.m. Aaron was hit with the most delicious smells as he set his briefcase aside. He knew Tony had left an hour before him to get home and work on getting dinner finished.

“You know you didn’t have to do this. My mother would have been happy with something simple.”

“The day I don’t indulge a little for your mother is the day I lose my Italian cred.”

Aaron laughed as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around Tony. Aaron nuzzled his neck and took a deep breath. 

“Tony...” Aaron’s hands wandered down to Tony’s hips, holding him there. “Are we crazy? Do you think Mama’s gonna think we’re crazy?”

Tony turned in Aaron’s arms and gently cupped his face. 

“No. I think she’ll worry, and I think she may not understand what it is we have here, but I don’t think she’ll think we’re crazy.”

“We haven’t really talked about us and where we fit with this new dynamic.”

“We’ll talk about it. Just not tonight. Tonight, I get to cook for your beautiful Mother.”

Aaron let Tony go, but not without a kiss. Aaron went to change, then up to see if Brian was home. He wanted to tell him the idea for the staircase before his mother arrived.

The door slid open and Brian leaned against the doorway.

“You’re Mother still coming to dinner?”

“She is. But, I wanted to talk to you about something Justin had mentioned. I want to talk to my Mother to find out if it’s feasible.”

Brian looked curious, but let Aaron in by stepping back. Aaron moved towards the corner where Justin had suggested. Brian had very little in that area and it looked like it could be doable.

“Okay, why are you standing in the corner?”

“I know it’s last minute to talk about this, but what do you think of a staircase between our two lofts?”

Brian furrowed his brow as he shuffled to the corner that Aaron was standing in. 

“This is that area next to the bedrooms that I had no idea what to do with. It could come up here, out of the way in both of our lofts.”

“Huh.” Brian walked around the space and Aaron saw that he was seriously considering it. “I need to think about it. I don’t think I’m opposed, just need to think about what this means.”

Aaron turned towards Brian who was looking very thoughtful.

“So, it would kinda be like us living together, yet separate.”

“I suppose it would.”

“Huh.” Brian didn’t say anything more as he moved towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

“My Mother will be here at 7:30, and dinner is shortly after. You and Justin are welcome, but like I said before no pressure.” Aaron moved in close and just cupped Brian’s jaw. “I love you, and not meeting her won’t ever affect that.” A quick kiss, then Aaron was making his way towards the door. 

“Maybe, I’ll wander down with Sunshine. You know, just to say hi, or whatever.”

Aaron smiled then left to go back. He had given Brian a few things to think about.

__________________

Aaron wasn’t surprised to see his mother had arrived when he made his way back down to his loft. The more he thought about it, the more he really wanted the staircase. But, he would have to let Brian decide if he was okay with that. 

After shutting the door behind him, he looked towards the kitchen to see Tony and his mother laughing about something. He just leaned on the wall near the kitchen and watched them. Two of the most important people in his life were sharing a moment together and it made Aaron happier than he thought it would.

“There you are.” Annabelle turned to look at Aaron, a wide smile on her face. Aaron knew that no matter what decisions he made, she would always be there for him.

“Hi, Mama.”

“Tony was just regaling me with some of the more outlandish things y’all have had to deal with.” 

“It’s been a learning experience.”

Aaron stood up and gave his mother a hug. 

“Thank you for coming, Mama.”

“Wild horses, child.”

Aaron chuckled, it had been a favorite saying of his mother’s ever since he was little. When he was about to ask about her day, there was a knock on his door. Aaron looked at Tony, who raised a brow almost asking if Aaron was stupid. Somehow, he knew even if his mother didn’t understand she would at least support him, and that more than anything meant so much to Aaron.

Opening the door, Justin walked in first, giving Aaron a peck on the cheek. Then Brian sauntered in. He was doing it on purpose, Aaron knew. Before he could do anything Aaron was backed against the wall and kissed to within an inch of his life. Aaron wanted to protest, but then Brian did that  _ thing _ with his tongue that made Aaron forget everything around him. When Brian finally ended the kiss and pulled away, Aaron knew his face was flushed. He also knew what Brian was doing, trying to shock his mother.

“Hm, dear boy, the day anyone thinks they can shock me will be the day the good lord is draggin’ me to heaven.” 

Brian looked confused as he looked between Aaron and his mother.

“Mama may have had two boys at home, but that does not mean she was austere.” Aaron smiled and walked towards Tony who was holding out a beer for him. “Shall I properly introduce you, then?”

“Son, you’d best be tellin’ me what exactly is goin’ on here. You and sweet Anthony livin’ together again? The young man from the dinah and, who are you?” Annabelle’s gaze almost bored into Brian. 

“I see where you get it. But, I have to admit, her’s is scarier.” Brian smiled as he leaned on the counter.

“Mama, this is Brian Kinney, you met Justin at the dinah. Justin Taylor, to be precise. Brian and Justin live upstairs and...well...” Aaron was finding it difficult to form the words.

“Spit is out, child. Ah do not have all day, and Ah am hungry. Bettah to get all of it out in the open now so it does not spoil mah appetite.”

“Well, Mama, it’s a bit complicated, but we,” Aaron bit his lip as he looked around at the other three men. “We have a sort ‘a understandin’” 

“You mean you four boys are in some kinda poly relationship with one ‘nother?” Annabelle crossed her arms and leaned back against the cabinets in the kitchen.

“Yes, Mama.” Aaron’s voice almost squeaked.

“You boys all safe?”

“Mama!”

Aaron was blushing so hard he felt the burn in his cheeks.

“He’s so cute when he does that.” Brian chuckled and it made Annabelle laugh.

“You know you nevah kept much from me, Son. Ah just want to know y’all know what your doin’”

“We’re still workin’ things out Mama.”

“Hm. Alright, since that is out of the way, Anthony darlin’ Ah think it’s time you feed me.” 

The tension between the five of them broke as food was being laid out on the table. Even Brian wasn’t shy, though it was not typical of how he liked to eat. Talk was easy with the five of them as dinner progressed. When they all had their fill, Tony shooed them all off towards the couches where he brought out a tray of coffee and tea. Once everyone was settled, Annabelle turned to Aaron.

“Now, Aaron Michael, why don’t you tell me what you wanted to ask me.”

Aaron stood and walked over to the open area near the bedrooms. 

“Brian and I haven’t had a lot of time to discuss this, but I was thinkin’ ‘bout a staircase between our two lofts.”

Annabelle stood and looked at the area.

“Well, Ah’d have to do some checking, but Ah don’t see why it wouldn’t be doable. Ah’d have to come back with some basic equipment, then draw somethin’ up that would work with what you have done here.”

“Thank you, Mama.”

Aaron looked around a moment and saw what he had built. He was proud of his space and the life he was building. When his eyes landed on a guitar case. Frowning he looked back at his mother.

“Mama?”

Annabelle stood and brought the case over to Aaron and handed it to him. With shaking hands Aaron opened it up and gasped. 

“How?” Aaron sounded devastated even to his own ears. “I thought Daddy destroyed it.”

“Ah rescued it, and Ah’ve kept it safe for you, but never felt it was the right time. Ah figured it was finally the right time.”

Aaron held the guitar in his hands and felt his chest tighten as emotions he long thought buried surfaced. Gripping the instrument to him he felt like the walls of his loft were closing in on him. He looked past his mother at the wall and tried to get the breath he was holding to release. When he saw the concerned faces of the others he couldn’t be there anymore and ran out the door. Ignoring the shouting for him to come back, Aaron fled.

The roof he had discovered by accident one day. The other five lofts had space up there for them to do with as they wanted. Aaron had found his space and put up a wooden canopy, a couple of outdoor chairs, table, and two raised troughs that he was growing a few herbs. So far only he had been up there, he had not been ready to share this space with anyone other than Jax. He came up when he needed some space, to be alone to get his thoughts in order. The small fridge he had installed had some waters, a few beers and sodas. 

Slumping in one of the chairs, Aaron held the guitar close and closed his eyes. He let his fingers move over the strings, plucking out a tune. Before he realised what he was singing, he was halfway through  _ Here Comes The Sun _ by George Harrison. 

Aaron didn’t know how long he was up there as he sat on the chair looking out across the roof, automatic fairy lights came on around the rooftop as he worked to keep the emotions from overwhelming him. 

“ _ If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is to save everyday til eternity passes away just to spend them with you.”  _ Aaron kept singing the Jim Croce ballad, thinking about all the moments he wished he could capture with Brian. He felt his eyes fill as he sang, knowing his heart was lost. He tried to fill his mind with all of those moments with each of the men he loved, probably more than was good for him, but he didn’t care. This was better than being lost in memories of terrible words, and horrific physical harm. 

“ _ But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do, once you found them.”  _ Aaron heard the rooftop door open, but he refused to look to see who it was. He thought it might be one of the other residents. When the sounds of crunching under feet got closer he looked up and saw Brian coming towards him, Aaron just watched, but didn’t stop the song. 

“ _ If I had a box just for wishes, And dreams that had never come true, the box would be empty, except for the memory of you...”  _ Brian came close and gently laid his hands over Aaron’s, then gently wiped away the moisture he had not felt falling from his eyes. 

“You surprise me. You can play rather well.”

Aaron swallowed hard as he closed his eyes and leaned into Brian’s touch. 

“Why did you run, Aaron? You’re always the one that stays and fights through whatever it is that upsets him.” 

Aaron opened his eyes and saw such compassion in Brian’s eyes that it almost broke him a little more. Releasing the death grip he had on the guitar, Aaron allowed Brian to take it and lay it down on the table, he then straddled Aaron’s lap and held his face in his hands. 

“Talk to me.”

Aaron almost laughed. This was a major turn in their relationship, Brian asking him to talk. He probably would have if the memories he was trying to bury once again weren’t so painful.

“I never really wanted for anything, not really, but it all came at a price. ‘Be quiet Aaron’, ‘Only A’s Aaron’, ‘Don’t make me angry, Aaron.’ Perfection is impossible to live up to.

“I wanted to learn music. It was my second escape other than books. I was taking lessons in school and I fell in love with the guitar, but I can play a couple of other instruments. I didn’t want to ask my Daddy to buy me one, and I had saved up every cent my Grandparents gave me, or money I got for my grades, or for keeping my room clean. I had more than enough to buy it myself. 

“One day after school I made my way to my bank, don’t ask, and I took out just enough to buy the guitar that I wanted, case, strap, everything. It was the first thing I bought for myself that I didn’t need any help buying. I was so proud, when I got home I wanted to show Mama what I had done. She was ‘bout six months pregnant with my brother, so I went to her sitting room where she was resting and reading. I sat down, pulled out my brand spanking new guitar, tuned it like Mr. Perkins, the music teacher, had showed me, then I played her a song.

“Ah’ll nevah forget the look of pride on my Mama’s face.”

Aaron looked over at the instrument and started to shake a little from the memories.

“Daddy came home and I don’t know what I was thinking. I may have been all of ten, but I wasn’t a child. Hadn’t been for a while. But, like a child I had this fantasy that maybe something I did would make my Daddy proud. So, I knocked on his study door and he called for me to come in and I showed him my guitar and wanted to play something for him. 

“He had already been drinking and the rage that came over his face, I should have known,” Aaron let a sob escape as he wrapped his hands around Brian’s waist, more to give him some grounding than anything. “I was rooted to that spot as fear paralyzed me. Daddy wrenched the guitar out of my hands and threw it across the room. I heard it crack and tears fell down my face. That night was the first time my Daddy had given me a broken bone. He broke my arm, fractured my wrist, and...” Aaron closed his eyes as the rest of the words escaped him. 

Brian said nothing as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Aaron’s forehead. 

“He’s dead, Aaron. The sadistic son-of-a-bitch is dead and he can’t hurt you anymore.”

“That was the night Mama decided to leave him. After taking me to the hospital, she went home with a policeman to pack what she could and left with him. She had to answer some questions, but CPS let me stay with her. I hated him, Brian. I had so much buried anger inside me that I was so afraid that I’d become him.”

Aaron buried his head against Brian’s chest and wrapped his arms around Brian. He grieved for his lost innocence and lost youth. He grieved for all those things that a father should have been but wasn’t.

“I take it your mother found the guitar.”

“I didn’t know she did. I thought it was lost. I bought others over the years, but that one...”

“Was special.”

“Yes, it was.”

Brian moved off of Aaron’s lap and sat in a chair across from him. 

“I’d like to hear more.”

Aaron hesitated a moment, but the look in Brian’s eyes meant that he really did want to hear more. Aaron picked up the instrument, got comfortable in the chair and played. He lost track of the time, it felt like hours before he finally got tired, and the night air became too cold to stay out. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Brian stood and held out his hand for Aaron to take. Standing, he gripped the guitar in one hand, and took Brian’s with the other. They went to his loft, where Aaron was stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers, then prodded into bed. Brian slipped in behind him and pulled him close. The guitar was leaned up against the nightstand next to where Aaron was lying. 

“Sleep, Aaron. And maybe you’ll be able to deal with this better in the morning.”

Brian just held him close, whispering nonsense softly in his ear till between one breath and the next, he was asleep knowing that the next day just might be a little better. 


	11. Chapter Ten

 

“ _ Sick of all the insincere, I'm gonna give all my secrets away, This time, don't need another perfect lie, Don't care if critics ever jump in line, I'm gonna give all my secrets away” -  _ One Republic, Secrets.

 

Aaron felt warm and safe. For the first time in too long, he truly felt safe. The fact that it was with Brian Kinney was almost ironic. But, Aaron had seen in Brian a depth that others overlooked. Closing his eyes a moment, Aaron didn’t want to get out of bed, he didn’t want to go into the office and have to deal with the case, Gideon, and all the complications it brought. But, he felt the weight of responsibility as he opened his eyes and looked up to the ceiling.

“You think too loud, you know that?” Brian opened his eyes to look directly at Aaron.

“Sorry. Just thinking how I don’t really want to be a responsible adult today.”

Brian propped his head up on his arm and looked down at Aaron.

“That’s my line.”

Aaron snorted as he laughed and shook his head. 

“I thought bringing in Gideon would help, but now I’m not so sure. Then last night with my Mom.”

Aaron took a deep breath as his thoughts turned inward. He was thankful that Brian wasn’t pushing. He still felt a little raw from the emotional toll of the previous evening. Finally he pulled himself out of bed, grateful that Brian didn’t bring up what happened. 

“I was thinking that I’m not opposed to a staircase. I can see how it would be beneficial.” Brian had gotten out of bed as well and walked over to Aaron and wrapped his arms loosely around Aaron’s waist. “Even convenient.” The smile on Brian’s face Aaron could only describe as wicked.

“I had a feeling you’d come around.”

“Have your Mom work up something and we’ll see.”

Aaron gave Brian a not quite chaste kiss, then decided to take a shower. When he was done a cup of coffee was being pressed into his hand. 

“Aaron...” 

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now at least.”

“How did you know what I was going to say?”

“Because I’m learning your tells. But, thank you for being there, for listening.”

Brian leaned against his kitchen counter and sipped his coffee. He wasn’t quite looking at Aaron, he fixated on a spot across the room. Aaron gave him his moment as he found his clothes and quickly put them on.

“You’ve wormed yourself into my life. I may be an asshole, but I can listen when it’s important. You, Aaron Hotchner, are important.”

Aaron knew they were making progress. After pulling on his t-shirt he walked over to Brian, cupped his cheek and kissed him.

“I think it’s time Tony and I told you our story. I know you think it’s in the past, but you and Justin need to know.”

“If you really think so, then how about tonight. I’ll cook.”

The look on Aaron’s face had Brian chuckling.

“I do know how to cook. I just always did it for myself. I never had anyone that meant enough to me to do it. I promise it will be edible.”

Aaron laughed, gave Brian another kiss then went down to his own loft. He needed to clear his mind for the day ahead.

_________________

“You’re right, Hotch. Something is off with Hobbs. Went to talk to him with Reid and he’s definitely hiding something.” Gideon chewed on his toothpick and tapped the arm of the chair as Aaron took sips of his coffee.

“What are you going to do?”

“Gotta rattle his chains a little.”

“Just be careful, Jason.” Aaron watched Gideon for a few moments while the man ruminated over the case. Aaron knew to leave him alone while he was in this mode, when Jason Gideon didn’t want to budge there wasn’t anything anyone could do to make him.

“I won’t do anything without clearing it with you first, Hotch.”

Aaron knew that wasn’t exactly true, but he would play Gideon’s game for the short while, then pull on that rather long leash if the man got too out of hand. 

“Just keep me updated. What are you planning for today?”

“DiNozzo and I are going to take over staking Hobbs out.”

“All right. Don’t let Tony do anything stupidly heroic. He has a tendency to get himself in trouble.”

Gideon laughed as he stood up and went back to the files. Something had to break and it had to happen soon.

The rest of the day flew by as Aaron got caught up on budgets, assessments, phone conferences and more. When his alarm went off he had to look at his calendar to see what he had set a reminder for himself about. A lunch meeting with Lindsay at her gallery. Gathering his things together, he told his assisstant that he would be gone for a little while and if anyone needed him he would be on his cell. 

Aaron walked into the Gallery twenty minutes later. Lindsay met him in the front then led him back towards her office.

“Your family had some amazing pieces, Aaron. I know I asked already, but you’re sure you want to part with everything?”

“None of us want anything that my father collected, or anything that was left from the Hotchner collection. I’m sure, Linds.”

“All right. Well, we’ve sold quite a few pieces. We only put out about four or five at a time. I’ve forwarded the funds to the Malcolm Hotchner Foundation as agreed upon, but I wanted to give you a statement of what’s been sold already.”

Aaron took the envelope that Lindsay handed over. When he looked over the amount he was surprised. He knew they had some rare pieces, but he had not really cared to know more. The furniture had brought a hefty sum and the house was in escrow to a very wealthy buyer that wanted the space and the land. 

“I appreciate this. The foundation will be able to reach out to more kids with this money.”

“I’m glad.” Lindsay walked around her desk with a large portfolio in her hand. “Something I’ve been meaning to speak with Brian about, but I think you might be more reasonable.” Aaron wasn’t sure what Lindsay would want to talk over with him, but he had that feeling in his gut that told him this conversation might not go well. 

“What is it?”

“Here.”

Aaron took the portfolio that Lindsay was handing over to him. Taking it over to a table on the other side of Lindsay’s office, Aaron opened it and immediately recognized the pieces. This was Justin’s work. It appeared to be artwork that was before and after the attack.

“He is special, Aaron. He should be in New York, not here in Pittsburgh. He could go so many amazing places and actually do something with his art.”

Aaron leaned back against the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You’re right. He is special, but he doesn’t want to go to New York. He’s found a balance here, Lindsay. Dealing with the attack, staying in school, navigating relationships. Hell, he’s even talking to his mother more and repairing his relationship with his sister, and the success of the Comic. Now, you want him to leave all that to go to New York to chase a dream that he may not even want? Is that because you see yourself in Justin?

“You see someone young, bright, immensely talented who should get away from Brian because you are secretly jealous of  _ any  _ relationships Brian has with others. You know I thought for a while that Mel hated Brian for, well being Brian. But, what I think she hates is this bizarre obsession you have of keeping Brian in that teenager box you’ve kept him in.” Aaron stood and moved to where he boxed Lindsay in on her desk, his face so close that they were almost sharing a breath. Lindsay’s eyes were huge as Aaron softly laughed.

“You have such a deep crush on someone you can’t have and you are unwilling to let him go. You want to fuck Brian and you know you’ll never, ever get the chance because you don’t have the right parts. Having Gus is the closest you will have ever gotten. Now, Brian  _ is _ growing up. He has adult relationships and is learning who he really is outside of his friends like you.” Aaron stared at the woman, angry in her audacity for trying to poke her nose in where it really didn’t belong. Aaron pulled back and watched Lindsay swallow a few times before she righted herself.

“I am not trying to get in between your relationship with Justin. I just think...”

“That you want to live vicariously through an eighteen almost nineteen year old boy. It does not matter where Justin is, he will always find a way to do his art. In fact, Brian and I have a surprise for him, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with you. Now, Justin has already told you no. You need to respect his decisions.”

“And you need to respect that Justin has incredible potential.” Lindsay’s voice had risen which made Aaron feel so sad for her.

“What can he find in New York that he can’t find here. Galleries? He can commute. School? He is going to one of the best art schools in the country. Why should he leave to go do the same thing he is doing here? While I appreciate that your intentions are to help Justin, stay out of it.” Aaron grabbed the statement and almost grabbed the portfolio, but he would leave it with Lindsay for now. If Justin gave it to her, it was for a reason.

Stalking out towards the door, Aaron took a few deep breaths to get himself back under control. He almost made it, but Lindsay was right behind him. 

“I don’t want to fuck Brian.” Lindsay yelled, then immediately realised what she said as not only her boss but a couple of patrons were browsing the gallery.

Aaron turned around, grabbed her upper arm and frog marched her into an alcove. 

“I know my kind, Lindsay. You’re bi but are afraid to admit it to yourself, or to Mel. You love Brian, and I think at one time you might have been in love with him, but knew it wouldn’t ever go anywhere so you relegated yourself then to Big Sister, but still hold out this bizarre hope that you will be able to live out your college fantasy. 

“It took me a long time to come to terms with my own sexuality. I’m not going to hide, even here just to try to fit in and make people like me. You want to play games? You want to push whatever agenda you have onto Justin or Brian? Well, expect push back. I care too much for both of them to see someone like you, someone who can’t get their own head together, screw us up because you think you know better. Stay out of our relationship. Because, Lindsay, you won’t win.”

Aaron let her go and glared at her before stalking away from her. Aaron was pissed off and had too much energy to burn. He didn’t want to go back to the office in this mood, especially with Gideon around, he knew he would start some kind of fight. Getting into his car he found himself headed towards the gym he had started to go to with Brian lately. Luckily Aaron always kept a bag in the car with him. 

Getting out, he stalked towards the dressing rooms and changed. The first thing he did was go to the treadmill, he thought that a good run would help burn off the mad that he still had going. He let his mind clear as he got lost in the running. He didn’t pay attention to time, or the other people around him. That was till someone approached him.

“Well, hey, this is a surprise.”

Aaron saw Brian walking over, he looked like he had been there for a while, he was all sweaty and Aaron didn’t even try to hide his reaction. 

“Needed to burn off some energy.” Aaron’s breathing was hard and fast.

“Alright, what happened?”

Aaron wasn’t going to say anything at first, but he had made a vow never to lie to Brian, or any of his lovers. 

“Lindsay. She brought up Justin, and New York. I basically told her to fuck off, but goddammit she made me angry.”

“How long you been at this?”

Aaron looked down at the display and saw that he had been at it for almost an hour. Gripping the hand rails, Aaron began to slow down, but he was still feeling too keyed up. 

“An hour.”

“Hm, I think I have a better way for you to work off the mad you have going.”

“Oh?”

“Mmm, hmm, come on.” Brian held out his hand and Aaron took it as he stepped off the treadmill, and grabbed his towel. 

Brian’s way of ‘working off his mad’ was fast sex in one of the shower stalls. Aaron, the old Aaron, would never have thought of something like that, but he was worked up enough that having Brian up against a shower wall didn’t bother him one bit. Collapsing on the small bench, he let Brian clean himself first, then Aaron would. 

“See, all better.” Aaron laughed and laid his head back and hated to admit that he did feel better. “Don’t you think I know Lindsay’s game, Aaron? I know her, and I know what she wants and she knows she can’t ever have it, because, you know, not the right equipment. But, she was there for me at times when no one else was. She’ll stop meddling, I promise.”

“Justin is just getting stronger and letting all that bad stuff go. He needs to make his own decisions.”

Brain traded places with Aaron, who quickly went through his routine.

“And what if he eventually does want to go to New York? For a little while, at least?”

“You know damn well it would hurt like hell, Kinney.” Aaron didn’t want to think about Justin leaving. 

“Hey, I know. What’s really going on?” Brian gently pushed Aaron against the shower wall after Aaron turned off the taps. 

“I don’t want to lose any of you. I don’t know why, but this all just feels so right. For the first time I feel...” Aaron swallowed and looked down at the tile floor.

“You feel what?” Brian moved in closer, pinning Aaron with a look. 

“I feel whole.”

Brian leaned in and kissed Aaron with long slow kisses. Hands gripped hips, mouths opened, tongues explored and Aaron’s heart settled. 

“I love you, Brian, but I think I love Justin as well. I can’t...I can’t lose anyone.”

“You won’t lose anyone, Aaron. None of use are going anywhere, and if, Justin decides to go to New York, it is his choice and we can’t keep him here.”

“I know. I know that, but its too hard to think about.”

“Then for now, let’s not think about it.”

Aaron grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist, then padded out to the lockers with Brian following.

“I need to get back. Tony and I will try to be home around 7.” Brian nodded in understanding, and Aaron quickly dressed. He did feel better about Lindsay, but now he was worried that Justin might be thinking about leaving. He had left his portfolio with Lindsay after all. Wiping a hand over his face, Aaron knew he couldn’t jump to conclusions. Grabbing his bag he made his way to his car and back to the office. 

_____________________________________

“Hotch, I know you think my Dad was the best person to help us with this case, but I think he’s becoming too invested. I don’t know what he’s doing, but something feels off and I can’t put my finger on it.” Tara looked very serious as she made her concerns known. “I’m worried about what he’s doing with Justin. They’ve been going out to lunch a lot over the last couple of weeks.”

Aaron leaned back in his chair, he checked the time on the small clock on his desk and noted that he needed to leave soon to be on time for dinner, and then the talk with Justin and Brian.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t know where, but it concerns me. You know how focused he gets.”

“Do you think the incident with Bale compromised him too much?”

“I know he hasn’t been the same since. He’s moodier, retreats even more, and let’s things in more than he used to. Do you know that he’s been digging up that old Birdman case he never solved?”

“No. I didn’t. Jason has always been too invested in some of these cases, and though he does deserve some of his arrogance it’s more than that. Tony has been complaining about some of his tactics. Do you think I should send him home?”

Tara looked out the window and was contemplative for a while. Aaron let her have her silence while she worked through whatever it was that was going through her head. Aaron could see more of Gibbs influence in Tara, than Gideon’s. Aaron often wondered if that was part of why the two fought so much.

“I think maybe you need to let him finish this out, but talk to him about whatever risks he is taking. He is here on your request, Hotch. You don’t have to do everything he suggests. You’re a damn good profiler yourself. Uncle Dave and Uncle Max always mentioned how impressed they were by you. Don’t let my father bully you, Aaron.”

“Don’t worry, Tara. I won’t. I will make note of our talk and speak with him tomorrow, but I won’t tell him your concerns.”

“I appreciate that. Now, I have a girls night out tonight. I have to get going.”

“Should I be afraid?”

Tara smiled brightly as her eyes sparkled a little too brightly.

“You should always be afraid. Daph and I made a couple of new friends, this should be fun.”

Aaron just shook his head, but was glad that Tara was making friends. He would have to reach out to Gibbs to see if he has had any interaction with Gideon as of late. He knew quite well the circumstances of Tara’s unusual adoption. Even though Gibbs had lost his wife and daughter, adopting Tara had kept him from closing himself off and Aaron knew the man would be a very different person without her in his life. 

He and Gibbs had kept up a friendly cross agency rivalry. Both had excellent marksman skills, each outdoing the other during cross agency competitions. Aaron liked the gruff man and knew that Gideon hated him. He thought it was probably because Tara had always tried hard to find approval with Gideon, and Aaron knew he loved her, but there was always something holding him back. 

Aaron’s respect for Gibbs also came from how much he had helped Aaron through his loss of Haley and Jack. Even though Jackson had pretty much bullied Aaron into sobriety, it was Gibbs confiding his loss to Aaron that had truly helped Aaron cope. He also suspected it was the last straw that helped Gibbs to face his own loss and put the ghost of his wife and daughter to bed.

“You look lost in thought.” Tony plopped down in the very chair Tara had just vacated. 

“Just thinking about the differences between Gibbs and Gideon.”

“I’m not even asking. Those are two minefields that are best left alone. Come on, let’s get home.” Tony stood and closed up Aaron’s files he had open on his desk that he didn’t even touch. Tony stacked them to the side making Aaron’s to do pile. “Are you really sure you want to do this tonight, Aaron?”

“No, but I am sure that they need to know. I don’t want secrets from them. I don’t want the mistakes of my past to creep up and surprise them one day. I want honesty.” Aaron stood up after turning off his computer he rounded his desk after locking up his files. Before he grabbed his coat off the coat rack, he moved to Tony and pulled him into his arms. “I find I want to find  _ us  _ again as well. The us before everything went to hell and I crawled into that bottle.” 

Tony wrapped his arms around Aaron and sighed. 

“I love you, Aaron. I never stopped loving you and I would have been happy with your friendship. But, everything has changed after meeting Brian and Justin. I’m not happy just being friends anymore. And, if getting our past out in the open is what needs to happen, then I’m right there with you.”

Aaron tipped Tony’s head back just enough for him to bend down and kiss him. This wasn’t the quick peck they had often traded with each other when going out as friends, this was the kind of kiss that Aaron used to give Tony, only less possessive. 

“Come on, let’s go home.”

Tony let go of Aaron and the two of them walked out and to Aaron’s car. All the way home they held hands, Aaron wasn’t fighting his feelings for Tony anymore. He had buried them so deep after his actions that he had not wanted to ruin the fragile friendship that had begun after Aaron got sober. Now, Tony had declared his feelings, and Aaron wasn’t going to deny his any longer. He felt just as strongly for Tony as he did Brian and Justin. 

Getting home and up to the loft, Aaron went to go shower and change. Comfortable jeans and a tshirt felt appropriate for the evening ahead. Aaron wanted to be open, relaxed and he knew he couldn’t do that in his suits or even business casual.

Tony came out of his room, jeans unbuckled, shirt in one hand, a towel drying his hair in the other. Aaron didn’t even try to hide the spark of lust that shot through him at seeing Tony so underdressed. 

“If we had more time, let’s just say I wouldn’t let you leave the bed for the rest of the evening.”

Tony’s wicked smile had Aaron leaning back against the kitchen counter. 

“Not wholly opposed to that idea.”

“Jesus, Tony.”

“If you want to call me Jesus, not opposed to that either. I’ve been told I can perform several miracles. I think those were the words you said after I gave you a blowjob the first time.”

Tony threw the towel back towards his room, Aaron knew he would take care of it later. He watched as Tony practically slunk towards him, then got down on his knees. 

“I think it was your old kitchen.” Tony buried his face against Aaron’s jeans covered cock. “You had just made some fabulous lasagna, and you admitted that Dave showed you how to make it.” Tony mouthed at the side of his cock making Aaron moan. “We can have a repeat of that night after we get done upstairs.”

Aaron let his head fall back, his hands gripped the barstool just within his reach. 

“You are terrible.”

Tony grinned almost foolishly.

“Oh, I know and now you are going to be thinking all night of me on my knees trying my best to recreate that first time.” Tony slowly stood, sliding up Aaron’s body as he went. “I think we should go, don’t you?”

Aaron closed his eyes and took a moment to calm himself. Tony had pulled away and finished getting dressed. A few moments later they were walking up to Brian’s loft. Aaron had to will his body to calm down but Tony was not making it easy.

Justin opened the door for them and each man gave a kiss on Justin’s cheek as they walked in. 

“That smells amazing, Brian.”

“Brick chicken, roasted vegetables, and some smashed mini potatoes tossed with garlic and olive oil.”

Tony did not hide his surprise at the meal laid out in front of them. 

“See, told you I could cook.” 

The four men sat down to what was becoming a familiar scene. Dinner was fairly lively as they all talked about their day, Aaron even asking Justin about the portfolio.

“I gave that to her for a show at the Gay and Lesbian Center later in the month. She wanted to pick out a few pieces to showcase.”

“So...”

Justin let out breath and laid his fork down on his plate as he sat back in his chair. A look of utter disbelief on his face. 

“Did she bring up that New York shit again? I swear I don’t know how many times I’ve told her to leave it alone. No, I don’t want to go anywhere. She just can’t see that I’m happy. I mean, I already put up with her prurient desire to fuck Brian, she can just knock that shit off. I don’t need to put up with that as well.”

Brian looked up at Justin.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Lindsay. She totally wants to fuck you. It’s as bad as Michael’s unrequited lust.”

“Linds does not want to fuck me.” Though Aaron knew Brian didn’t believe that, he had as much told him earlier in the day.

“Yes she does.” Three voices said at once. 

“Hey, I’ve only been around her a few times. She totally would.” Tony shook his fork at Brian.

“But..”

“We know..” Those same voices again said in harmony.

“We have become far too close.” Brian set his fork down and shook his head knowing he couldn’t deny to the other’s what he already knew. “Yeah, okay. I’ve known that for a long time. But she doesn’t have all the right bits and she knows it.”

“She’s your friend, almost like a sister to you, but she is having a hard time separating.” Aaron reached out and took Brian’s hand. 

“I’ll deal with Lindsay. She just can’t fathom that I can make up my own mind. She thinks that just because I’m almost nineteen that I can’t know what I want. I want to be here.” Justin finished off his glass of pop before settling back in his chair. Everyone else finished dinner and Aaron offered to clean up. He also made coffee and brought Tony a cup as well as one for himself. 

The foursome settled on Brian’s couches and Aaron cleared his throat.

“I know Brian that you don’t think it’s important to know mine and Tony’s history. But, I don’t want any secrets between us. That’s the only way this whole thing is going to work. Complete and open honesty.”

Aaron took a moment to gather his thoughts together before he started to speak again.

“When I met Tony, it was during a case in Baltimore. He was on the police department there, and it was a few months after the loss of Haley and Jack. There was this mutual attraction and I admit I acted unprofessional in that we fell into bed together during the case. After we caught our Unsub, Tony asked us to help him with a problem he was having. To make a long story short, his partner was corrupt and his Captain was complicit. We helped him out, and I offered him a job. I was lead profiler at the time and Gideon wanted him for the team.

“Tony came with me and we continued our sexual relationship. But, I made Tony hide it. At first, he didn’t fight it, I wasn’t ready to come out to my bosses, and I was drinking.” Aaron stood and started to pace, Tony watched with sympathy, but he was staying quiet, and Aaron was grateful for that.

“I became a total asshole. Controlling, because I was still grieving and wasn’t dealing with that grief. My brother, at the time, was also causing problems and it compounded everything. I didn’t let Tony in. I didn’t let him help me and, though I loved him it was almost obsessive. At work we were both professional, but at home, and especially after Tony moved in with me, I can only say that my actions towards him were shameful. 

“My drinking got worse the more I tried to control everything and it wasn’t till Tony had enough and outed us in the middle of the bullpen, right when our boss walked in. He was tired of the hiding, and tired of my actions. Basically he told me to go fuck myself. He would only stay on the team if I got help.

“That’s when Jackson intervened and bullied me into rehab. So, I know what it is to shove your emotions down, I know what it is to not acknowledge your partner, or treat them how they should be treated. I had a lot of making up to do, then I got the case that got me sent here. It was the Boston Reaper and I didn’t solve it. My sobriety was in jeopardy and I was given a choice. Pittsburgh, or busted down to the Agent Pool. I knew if I accepted the Agent Pool, it would take a long time to work myself back up the ladder. At least here, I still have my career. I was surprised when Tony said he would come with me.”

Aaron walked to Brian’s fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, then walked back. 

“It was a tough time for both of us. I almost left the Bureau, but I stuck it out and when I saw that Aaron was sincere in working out his problems, we learned to be friends. It wasn’t easy, but the place we had gotten to when we met you guys was hard fought, and hard won. So, we are now here, the four of us.”

Justin stood and went over to Aaron and hugged him close.

“That must have been hard. Owning up to mistakes is never easy.”

Aaron wrapped his arms around Justin and kissed the top of his head. 

“No it isn’t. I’m grateful every day that Tony not only forgave me, but that we worked on our relationship and he became my friend again.”

Justin pulled Aaron back to the couch and sat on his lap then threw his legs over Tony’s lap, Brian just shook his head and laughed at Justin’s antics. Aaron had his eyes on Brian as he slid his fingers into Justin’s hair. A look of complete understanding passed between Brian and Aaron. Two men who shared many similarities grew closer together. The four of them passed the rest of the evening talking, sharing more of themselves, and even Brian opened up some and Aaron knew it was a start.

After Tony and Aaron left Brian’s loft, Tony shoved Aaron into the kitchen and fulfilled his promise. It was the first time in almost three years that they had touched each other like this, and Aaron knew that this time, he wasn’t letting Tony go so easily. He also wouldn’t abuse the love and trust that had grown between them after Aaron got his life together. Crawling in bed, holding Tony close was the last piece of this complicated puzzle. Aaron could finally admit how happy he really was.


	12. Chapter Eleven

 

“ _ You left my side tonight, And I, I just don't feel right, But I, I can't let you out of sight, _

_ Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all,”  _ Three Days Grace, Without You.

 

Aaron was worried about what Gideon was doing with Justin. He was also worried about Gideon’s daily stakeouts of Hobbs. That wasn’t what he had called Gideon in for, the stakeout rotation that he had worked up to follow Hobbs had been working. They had some evidence that he was trolling Liberty Street after hours, but had not done anything overt yet. Aaron knew it was going to come to a head soon, he just hoped it wasn’t as explosive as he worried it would be. 

“Hey, where’s your head at?” Jackson narrowed his eyes at Aaron.

“Sorry. I just have a bad feeling about this whole thing with Hobbs. I need to pull Gideon off of his stakeouts and enforce the rotation that I originally made.”

“You think he’s obsessing?”

Aaron set his fork down and wiped his mouth, using those small actions to settle him.

“I do. I think the Bale incident has him off kilter and he’s trying to prove something. He and Tara’s relationship is strained to the breaking point. This was a huge mistake.”

Jackson reached over and took Aaron’s hand. 

“Don’t. You had no idea that Jason Gideon was heading off the rails. You know him as one of your mentors. Someone you respect and could have gotten close to given the chance.”

“I know. I’m sorry I don’t mean to ruin our dinner.”

“It’s not ruined, Aaron. You need to get this stuff off your chest before you go home and do the bouncy, bouncy with one of your hot men waiting for you.” Jackson’s smirk had Aaron wanting to smack him, but he just laughed instead. 

“Real mature, Jax.”

“I aim to please.”

Aaron felt better than he had in the last two months since bringing Gideon in on the case. He just hoped that they got it wrapped up soon. The Governor had called and praised Aaron for getting the bashings to stop, now the pressure was lifted a little, but she still wanted the culprit caught and prosecuted. Aaron knew it would look good for her re-election campaign if the little bastard was brought to justice.

“So, how are things with you and Ben?”

Jackson’s smile was almost all that Aaron needed to know. His best friend was happy, and that was what was most important.

“He’s great. We’re talking about moving in together. I found a place I like and he’s going to come with me to check it out.”

“Finally moving out of that tiny shithole you call an apartment?”

“Seeing as I’m hardly ever in said shithole, I think it’s time for something more adult. And, I don’t know, we’ve been talking.”

Aaron lifted a brow and leaned forward.

“Talking?”

“You know Canada, we can go up there and get married. Maybe adopting.”

“It’s that serious.”

“Yeah, who would have thought that I would even consider marriage. But, Ben...he’s amazing and we have a lot in common, and I want to spend every moment I can with him.” The corner of Jackson’s eye filled as he leaned back in the booth they were occupying.

“Jax? Is Ben all right?”

“Oh, oh yeah he is, but I’m realistic Aaron. I know he has a good chance to live a very long time, but you and I know how this disease can take a turn.” Jax looked out the window and sighed as both he and Aaron were thrown into memories of lost loved ones. “I ah, I told Ben about Victor. At first he thought I was a Bug Chaser. We had a huge fight about it, but he eventually calmed down and we talked it out.”

Aaron reached over and threaded his fingers with Jackson’s. Aaron had been there every step of the way and while he wasn’t the one in love with Victor, he had his own close relationship with the artist. Aaron almost choked on his water as realisation hit him as hard as a big damn clue bus.

“What is it?” Jax asked looking worried about whatever he saw on Aaron’s face.

“Except for his insatiable appetite for sex, I just had a moment of clarity about my relationship with Justin. He reminds me almost exactly of Victor. His enthusiasm, his love of life, his art...”

“Aaron, are you saying you regret not acting on your attraction to my ex-lover?” Jackson’s sarcastic little smile had Aaron clearing his throat and pulling back.

“I would never have done anything, Jax.”

“You know Victor loved you too. I don’t think you ever came to terms with the fact that you and he were having an intellectual affair.”

Aaron wasn’t sure how to take this information. He thought he had put Victor behind him, had come to terms with losing him like he had lost so many others, but the knowledge that he had cared more for the man than he had let himself feel at the time had thrown him a little off balance.

“Hey, it was never an issue, Aaron. I loved the fact that the two most important people in my life cared for each other like they did. I was never jealous of the relationship you two had. I’m sure if Victor had not been asexual, he would have jumped you like a man starved, and it would not have bothered me.”

“Is that why he stayed with me after Trevor left?” Victor had come over to see if Aaon had been okay. The man had stayed a week, slept in his bed and held him through the grief of losing someone Aaron had loved, but wasn’t loved back in the same way. 

“Of course. I couldn’t be there, and I felt like a crappy friend, but my thesis needed to get finished. It made me feel better that he was there.”

“But..”

“I know, okay?”

“Jax, why didn’t...I mean, I never...”

“Hey, my best friend was hurting and whatever happened between you two was not my business.”

“But, we never, I mean he slept with me, but the only thing we did was actually sleep.”

“Aaron, I know. Just, it’s okay.”

Aaron felt like a huge sledgehammer had hit him upside the head. He didn’t know how to process what he was feeling.

“I um. I need a couple of days, Jax.” Aaron stood up and threw some money on the table, grabbed his coat and walked out to his car. He had heard Jackson calling him, but Aaron didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He needed to process. Emotions he thought long in the past had reared their ugly head making him question his relationship with Justin. There had been a pull to the young man which Aaron had not understood. Talking with Jackson, bringing up Victor, Aaron began to doubt himself when it came to the youngest of their foursome. He wondered if he was trying to replace Victor in his life with Justin.

Aaron didn’t remember getting home. And, he would reflect back on the evening and blame the fact that he was emotionally compromised for not paying as much attention as he should have. He knew intellectually that Hobbs had driven by their building several times a week, but with the police presence and him and Tony living there, he assumed a lot of things he should not have. 

“You fucking fag. Why can’t you and your little faggot loving friends leave me the  _ fuck alone!  _ You just can’t let it go can you?”

Aaron cursed himself and the fact that he had left his weapon in the car safe in the trunk of his vehicle. He wasn’t on duty, and he assumed he was safe. When he turned around to see Hobbs holding not a bat, but a gun, Aaron could admit to himself that he felt a tremble of fear. He reached into his pants pocket where his phone was and by touch activated the panic button. He just had to keep Hobbs talking.

“And what was I supposed to leave alone?”

“Those little queers got what they deserved. You all just fuck each other like you have no care in the world. You don’t care that you and your kind are filthy ass fuckers that spread disease. I was doing the world a  _ big fucking favor. _

“Then that little twink bastard and the older asshole kept comin’ round. Flaunting their little sick affair. Well, I’m tired of it, I’m done. If I take you out, they will leave me alone and I will be able to finish what I started.”

Aaron finally figured out what Gideon was doing and it pissed him off, but he had to project calm in the face of a man who had been pushed too far. He knew he had to be careful, but he was also tired of the case and Aaron would later reflect on the words that came out of his mouth at a much later date.

“You know if you kill me, Chris, that someone else will figure you out. The Bureau and the Locals won’t stop, you’ll have harmed a Federal Officer and they don’t like that.”

“I don’t fucking care.”

“Oh, but I think you do. I also think that this rage, this pain that you are in and take out on others is you questioning yourself. You have questioned your own sexuality, your own worldview ever since the incident. You let another boy touch you and you liked it, didn’t you?”

Aaron kept his face neutral, his hands at his sides as he watched the red flush darken Hobbs face. 

“That little twink asshole assaulted me. He got what he deserved.”

“Was that really what happened? I’ve talked to Justin, and at no time did you say no. You need help, Chris. You need to talk to someone. This anger is only going to grow and you won’t be satisfied with just hurting your targets. You probably don’t feel the same satisfaction as that first attack. You keep trying to find that high, and you aren’t getting it. 

“Chris, you need to stop this before it goes further. Or else the next time you hurt someone, you won’t stop at just beating them.”

Hobbs hand wavered and Aaron thought he was getting through to the young man. But, several things happened all at once. Justin was getting home late and walking up the sidewalk where Aaron and Hobbs were standing. As he approached, Aaron could see Tony running out the door of their building, gun in his hand at the same time an SUV was fast approaching. Aaron saw that Hobbs was freaking out, and Aaron tried to keep him calm, but the more people converged, the shouting, the sirens all exacerbated the situation and Aaron knew, he and Hobbs were not getting out of this situation unharmed. Shots fired all at once, Aaron saw Hobbs going down, he started to stagger forward shouting  _ NO! _ Then he stopped as the realisation of why Hobbs now lie bleeding on the sidewalk hit him. He had been shot. Aaron tried to hold onto Tony as he rushed up, but he couldn’t and he too fell on the sidewalk bleeding from several wounds. After trying to tell Tony what happened, Aaron slipped under the darkness that had been trying to take him, and he knew no more.

____________________

 

“Aaron!  _ Aaron! _ ” Tony was shouting, Justin was being held back by Spencer who had been in the SUV with Tara and Gideon. Justin was shouting too, then he looked up to see Brian falling to his knees, devastation written all over his face. Everything was oddly silent to Tony, it was as if he was seeing everything like a movie reel that hadn’t been edited for sound yet. It took him almost a full minute to come back to himself when he heard Spencer on his comm calling for help.

 

“....Federal Agent down, suspect down, we need two ambulances immediately at,” Spencer rattled off the address. Tony saw him trying to calm Justin while he knelt beside Aaron trying to stop as much of the bleeding as he could. 

“Come on, Aaron. Stay with me, stay with us. Dammit you stupid, heroic idiot.” Tony’s breaths were coming fast and hard as he tried to do what he could for Aaron. The ambulances didn’t take long, but it felt like hours to Tony. For a moment the squawk of radios and unfamiliar voices had him confused. But gentle hands on his shoulders made Tony look up to see the EMT’s. Standing up, he moved away on shaky legs. Looking down at his hands all he saw was the blood and it threw him even more. Arms wrapped around him and soft words, bolstering words were being spoken in his ear. When he could finally think clearly, he could tell it was Brian.

“Y-you should go, Bri. I’ll have to stay, give a statement.” Tony swallowed hard as Aaron was lifted onto the stretcher, oxygen mask on his face, and an IV in his arm. 

“Who’s going to take care of you, Tone?” Brian pulled back and Tony cleared his throat and grabbed an oversized wipe being handed to him by an EMT. 

“I’ll stay here with him, Brian. He’s right, you should go. I’ll have Tara take Justin.” Spencer laid a hand on Tony’s shoulder and he nodded. Taking the comfort for what it was, Tony shored up his emotions so that the Detectives that had arrived could get the full story. Turning to one of the EMT’s standing over Hobbs body, Tony got his attention.

“Is he dead?” Tony’s hard tone everyone agreed was warranted.

“Yes. We’ll transport him to the morgue as soon as the Coroner gets here and releases the body.”

“Good.”

“Tony.”

“What, Spencer? The man,” Tony’s jaw worked back and forth before he could speak again. “He may have killed Aaron, we don’t know yet. I don’t regret the little bastard is dead.” Tony looked up to see Gideon standing there, frowning. “You, you fucking bastard.” No one realised what Tony was going to do, but running up to Gideon and giving him a rather hard right hook wasn’t what anyone expected. “This is your doing. I don’t know how, I don’t know what you did, but I know it was you and I swear to God, Special Agent Jason Gideon, I will have your shield.” Tony stood there heaving, grief and pain warred with the righteous anger inside of him.

“Tony, they are ready to take Aaron.” Spencer glared at Gideon as he led Tony away. Looking up he saw Brian looking out the small ambulance window and the only thing Tony could say about that look was, gutted. The ambulance got further away and Tony could just make out Brian’s bowed head before he could no longer see him. Tony wanted to go, but he knew he had an investigation to handle. 

_______________________________

 

“Aaron, don’t you fucking die on me you bastard.” Brian closed his eyes as he held Aaron’s hand. He knows Aaron had lost a lot of blood, but the EMT’s supposedly got it somewhat under control. He felt moisture prick the corners of his eyes as he held Aaron’s hand up to his mouth and kissed each finger. Feeling frustrated he turned to look past the partition to see the driver. “Can’t you go any fucking faster?”

“Sir, I know you’re upset, but we are going as fast as allowed.”

Brian knew that, he did, but fucking hell this was Aaron. A man he had come to care more for than he had ever wanted to admit. 

“I’m sorry, just...” Brian choked up as he watched the almost imperceptible rise and fall of Aaron’s chest.

“It’s okay. We understand.” Brian looked up and saw compassion and understanding on the EMT’s face and it almost broke him a little more. There were some tense moments, then thankfully they were pulling into the med bay. 

Brian jumped out and waited while the men did their job, then he was bursting through the doors to the emergency room right along with Aaron and the EMT’s. When they started to go through another set of doors, a nurse stopped him.

“Sir, I’m sorry. You can’t go in there.”

“Look, he’s my partner, please,” Brian tried to step forward, but the nurse put a hand on his chest and held him back. 

“I understand, and you can help me by giving me some information, okay?”

Brian was breathing hard, trying to hold in his emotions. Grunting under his breath, Brian followed the nurse, at least this would be something to do. He told her as much as he could, but on insurance and all that he didn’t know. When they were done, Justin was running towards him with Spencer following behind. Brian wrapped Justin up in his arms and shielded him from others that were coming in. Trying to keep it all in, Brian had to be strong. He couldn’t let them see him fall apart. 

“Where is he?” Spencer asked as he wrapped his arms around his waist. 

“They took him back there. They didn’t say anything.”

Brian clenched his jaw as he held Justin close.

“This was because of me. Fuck, I...” Justin’s body shook against Brian’s and all Brian could do was kiss the top of the younger man’s head and pray to a god he didn’t even believe in anymore that they would get Aaron back. 

More people came in, but Brian and Justin ignored them. When a head laid on his shoulder, Brian moved one arm from Justin to pull Tony in close. The three men trying to hang on.

“What the hell is going on?” Brian looked up to see Jackson and Ben swiftly walking towards them. 

Tony pulled out of Brian’s embrace and hugged Jackson. 

“It was Hobbs. He came after Aaron with a gun. Aaron wasn’t armed and I...I’m not sure...I got there as Justin was walking up the sidewalk. Aaron should have had his weapon on him. I don’t know why he didn’t.”

Jackson paced and let out a string of expletives that would have made anyone blush. 

“It’s my fault. Dammit I shouldn’t have brought up Victor. Shit, goddammit. This is my fault...” Jackson closed his eyes and tears fell. Ben caught him up in his arms and held him tight.

“I don’t understand, who’s Victor?” Brian frowned as he watched Aaron’s best friend fall apart. It took a while to get Jackson to calm down and for once Brian was actually patient. Jackson wiped his face with some tissue that a kind nurse hand brought over to the group.

“Victor Marks was my partner in college. The three of us were close along with Trevor who had been Aaron’s partner. Trev was in med school. He was graduating and he got accepted to Johns Hopkins University, and we were in Virginia. Anyway Aaron and Trev had a huge fight and Trev broke it off. Aaron was devastated. 

“Aaron had been close to Victor, and he had helped Aaron through his grief. I was too caught up in my thesis to have been of any help. A few months later, Victor was diagnosed. He was diabetic and had to take insulin. A pack of his needles were found to be tainted. There was a big scandal, he sued  along with a group of other men, women, and children that became infected. Anyway, it was aggressive in his case and he died two years later. 

“I was talking about him at dinner and Aaron,” Jackson looked at Justin and furrowed his brows. “Aaron made a connection that threw him off. Justin, you remind us both so much of Victor. He was an artist as well. He graduated with an MFA in fine arts, as well as one in Art History. He was going to open a gallery. He wanted...” Jackson took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it. “He wanted to mentor young, gay artists. He knew how hard it was to get people to take him seriously. Under his tough exterior, Aaron has a lot of insecurities and I put the blame solely on that bastard father of his.”

Jackson moved away from the group and Brian quickly understood the point of the story. Aaron thought he loved Justin, not for Justin, but because he was reminded of this Victor person. But, Brian knew that was bullshit. 

“So he didn’t have his weapon because he was emotionally compromised.” Brian was angry, but he was scared as well. 

“Family of Aaron Hotchner?” A Doctor had come into the waiting area and Brian and the others crowded around. 

“Oh, well I will speak with all of you then. Aaron is still in surgery. He has five bullet wounds. One through his shoulder, one in his chest that thankfully missed his heart and his lungs. One through his right side which we won’t know the extent of the damage till we get in there. Thankfully those went right through. There is one that hit his right arm and is lodged in one of his  bones. The last one, is frankly the one we are worried about the most. It hit him in the abdomen and to the left. We need to do exploratory surgery to find the bullet, there is no exit wound. I won’t lie, it is tricky and we have to be careful. 

“We got the bleeding under control and have begun the extensive repair on his shoulder. But, I need to get back. I will send one of the nurses out later to give you an update.” The Doctor turned and walked back through the double doors and disappeared. Brian left the group and found a quiet corner. He needed to be alone. 

Leaning against the wall, Brian slid down till he was sitting on the floor holding his head between his legs. Only then, by himself in this quiet corner could he let himself fall apart.

________________

“Look, I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole.” Brian closed his eyes at the voice above him. When Michael sat next to Brian and leaned on him, Brian wasn’t sure he could take the comfort, but this was Michael. Whatever shit they had gone through, or how badly they sometimes treated each other, this man had been there for him when it counted. 

“I can’t lose him, Mikey.” Brian turned to look at Michael, tears had streaked down his face and he didn’t even try to hide them. 

“You love him don’t you?”

Brian took Michael’s hand and looked down at nothing really as he tried to sort through his emotions. 

“Fuck,” Brian exhaled the word as he banged his head against the wall. 

Michael pulled on Brian till the man was laying with his head in Michael’s lap. Brian closed his eyes and let himself purge his emotions once more. 

“I’ll admit that I’m jealous and I’m a total dick about it, but I would never want someone you cared about hurt. There’s all kinds of things that popped into my head and then I realised how selfish all of that sounded and that my best friend had to be hurting. 

“You know what that friend of Aaron’s told me? He told me that he and Aaron were platonic soulmates. They loved each other on a level that no one could possibly understand, but that it wasn’t about sex. It was about being there for each other no matter what happened in their lives. It was an unbreakable connection that they had that would always be there and if they had ever had sex, it would taint what they had.”

Brian wondered where this was going, but listening to Michael, the hand stroking his hair had helped to calm him. He had been so angry at Michael for his attitude towards how he was living his life and who was living it with him, that he wasn’t sure that they could find that delicate balance they always had. 

Him being here when Brian needed him most went a long way to beginning to forgive him. But, he also knew he was no longer going to let Michael manipulate and try to control him. He had grown up, or at least he was in the process of growing up and Aaron was the reason. 

“That’s kinda beautiful, Mikey.” Brian sat up and wiped his face with some tissue that Michael handed him. “You know we can’t go back to what we were. We both have to grow up. You have to understand that not only is Justin going to stay in my life, but I have Aaron now, and even Tony. I’m finding they are, surprisingly, enough. I need you in my life, but not if your going to continue being a dick about all this.”

Michael took a deep breath and looked at Brian. 

“I guess I can try.”

Brian laughed, but it held no mirth as he pulled Michael into his arms and settled a little more. Finally he stood up, feeling a little more centered, he walked back towards the waiting room. 

“That’s all I ask, Mikey,” Brian said over his shoulder as he went through the doors and saw how many people were now there. Other than Tony, Spencer, Tara, Jackson and Ben, some of the agents from Aaron’s office, Mel, Lindsay, and Gus had also shown up. Ted was there, and Emmett was wrapped around Spencer trying to ground him. 

Tony was in the corner on the phone with someone, and Brian somehow knew that it was Aaron’s mother. After Tony hung up, Brian went over there, leaving Michael with Ted.

“I’m sorry, I just needed to...” Brian waved towards the door.

“It’s okay, Brian. You needed a few moments alone. I did too.”

“Was that Annabelle?”

“Yeah. She was at dinner with Aaron’s brother, Sean. They will be here soon.”

Brian looked around and wondered if they could really fit anymore people in the room. 

“Aaron’s going to hate all this attention,” Brian chuckled as he looked out at everyone.

“Yeah he is.” Tony leaned towards Brian, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. Justin was with Spencer and Emmett. But the surprise was Debbie sitting quietly, even when Michael came to sit beside her. The tension was high as they waited to hear from the Doctor. 

__________________

Tony quietly walked into the room Aaron had finally been transferred into after the anesthesia wore off. He didn’t say anything as he watched Brian sleeping with his head on the bed holding one of Aaron’s hands.

Tony still didn’t quite understand the strong connection between the two of them. He wondered if it was their similar childhoods, as well as other similarities. They were both ambitious, strong, and very Alpha male. Tony knew what he meant to Aaron, but even he could see that if Brian was more truthful with himself, the two of them would bond for life. Tony was feeling that way with Justin. 

He watched the rise and fall of Aaron’s chest, glad that he had not needed to be intubated, he was breathing well on his own. Tony also didn’t know what this would mean for Aaron’s career. Of course he stayed in the office more than he was in the field, but he couldn’t see Aaron staying down. The physical therapy was going to be long and painful, but Tony had the feeling that Aaron would do the work, especially if the three of them bullied him to keep at it.

“Hey,” Brian said as he stirred from his place. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I was trying to be quiet. How is he?”

Brian stood and walked towards the bathroom to splash water on his face.

“Breathing on his own. Doc said it might be a few more hours till he wakes.” Brian dried his face and looked at himself in the mirror, Tony moved into the bathroom and shut the door. Brian just raised a brow and waited for Tony to do whatever he was going to do.

“I was just thinking out there. There is a strong connection between you and Aaron. I feel the same with Justin. I know he loves the both of you, he’s just afraid to say it because you brush him off every time he says it.”

Brian leaned against the wall and knew this wasn’t the time for games, or for hiding. He couldn’t hide anymore, no matter how much it scared him.

“It’s not easy for me to admit. But, what I have to say will be said to each of them. They deserve that.”

Tony stood in front of Brian and reached out his hand to take Brian’s. 

“We haven’t given each other time. I admit that I held myself back because I didn’t trust you. You and Aaron kept pushing and pulling at each other, then, I don’t know when it happened, but you’ve changed and you guys became something more. I could see it and it made me think of you differently. 

“If this situation has taught me anything, its that bad shit can happen and we don’t always get the opportunity to say the things we should have said. I want us to get closer, Brian. I want us to form our own relationship with each other. I don’t know what that will look like. I don’t know what I want with us, but I don’t want the opportunity to pass us by.”

Brian reached over and threaded his fingers with Tony’s, then pulled him close. The kiss was slow and a little hesitant, but no less emotional on both of their parts.

“We can start there. There is something you need to understand, Tony. I don’t lie. It doesn’t matter what people have told you, or your perception of me, but that is one thing you can always trust. I will never lie to you. I’ve never lied to Aaron, nor Justin. I am who I am.”

“Good, because I hate it when people lie to me.”

Brian smiled despite the situation and pulled Tony closer and held him. He took strength from Tony and knew that the four of them together would only get stronger.


	13. Chapter Twelve

 

 

“ _ Your heart got a story with mine, Your heart got me hurting at times, Your heart gave me new kind of highs, Your heart got me feeling so fine, So what to do, Still falling for you.”  _ Ellie Goulding - Still Falling for You

 

Night was falling and Brian had not left Aaron’s side. Tony was there most of the day and Justin came to sit for a while as well. Brian then ushered them out of the hospital, bullying them to go home. They tried to get him to leave as well, but he had to stay. He had to be there when Aaron opened his eyes. Brian felt the guilt for not being there for Justin, he wasn’t going to do the same to Aaron.

The nurse at one point during the day took sympathy on him and brought in a more comfortable chair for him. She had also given him a selection of books he could read. No one made him leave after the first time someone tried to kick him out. That had been fun, and Brian won. 

Currently Brian was sipping his coffee, reading a trashy romance, even the sex parts which just made him laugh. He admitted it was terrible, but there was something fun underneath all of the bad dialogue and awkward romantic gestures. 

“Brian?” Aaron’s voice croaked and Brian sat up in his chair.

“Aaron.” Brian’s throat closed on the emotions that crashed together inside of him.

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

Aaron swallowed a few times, then tried to sit up but the pain on his face told Brian that he was having trouble moving.

“Here, let me help.” Brian grabbed the remote and slowly lifted the bed till Aaron waved at him to stop. Pouring a cup of water, he put the straw that was on the tray into the cup and gave it to Aaron who took a few sips then gestured he was done. 

“I remember Hobbs outside of our apartment. I tried to talk him down, then I don’t remember anything after that..”

“He shot you, Aaron. I saw it, and there wasn’t anything I could do. I’ve only felt that helpless once before.”

“Shoulder?”

“His shots were wild. He hit your shoulder, your upper arm, side, lower abdomen, and in your chest which thankfully missed your heart.”

Aaron let out a deep breath as he tried to process what had happened.

“You’re going to have rehab after you heal. The shoulder they had to do some reconstruction.” Brian took Aaron’s good hand and pulled it up to his lips and kissed the knuckles. “I was scared, Aaron. I was scared that I was going to lose you and I would lose the chance to tell you those things I should have told you.”

Brian pushed out of his chair and leaned in close to Aaron. He kissed the man on the bed slowly, telling him with his kiss what had been so difficult to say in words. When he pulled back, Brain cupped Aaron’s cheek and gently stroked his thumb over the bruises that were forming from where he fell onto the concrete pavement.

“I love you, Aaron.”

Aaron lifted his good hand and laid it on Brian’s cheek. 

“I love you and you damn well are never doing this to me again. Do you understand? You do not have permission to die on me.”

Aaron pulled on Brian till they were kissing once again. 

“I love you too Brian. And I will do everything in my power to stay here with you.”

Brian wiped away the moisture that had fallen from Aaron’s eyes. Neither man acknowledged that Aaron was crying. Brian stood and fled the room for a few moments to go get the doctor. He needed some time to process the emotions that were too close to the surface. 

The Doctor came in and went over Aaron’s injuries, telling him that he was going to be in the hospital for at least two weeks to make sure the injuries to his abdomen healed correctly. Then when the Doctor felt satisfied, he would order physical therapy. He was writing Aaron out of work for six weeks, then six weeks of desk duty. 

“Do I need to get you a babysitter?” Brian sat on the edge of the bed and took Aaron’s hand. The look on his face had Aaron pulling Brian close. Not caring if it hurt, he kissed Brian again.

“You know I’m going to go a little insane.”

“Oh, I know. But, I’m sure you’ll suffer through. When he’s home, Justin is going to be with you. No arguments.”

Aaron nodded and knew he had more to fear from Justin than he did Brian, or even Tony. 

“And no work.”

“Bri...”

“No arguments. No work. Understand?”

“Fine. What the hell do you expect me to do?”

“Rest, recover.” The seriousness in Brian’s voice had Aaron sighing. “Okay.”

Aaron very reluctantly agreed. Though it would be difficult to do.

“Good. I, unfortunately, need to get going. Tony brought you a few books, and Spencer thought you might like these puzzle books. He picked them out, so they just might challenge even your brain.” Brian teased, but Aaron could see it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He knew it would take some time for him to stop feeling guilty for something he couldn’t control. 

“Then I look forward to them.”

Brian leaned over and kissed Aaron.

“I’ll come by after lunch.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to.” Brian stood and let his fingers wander down Aaron’s arm before saying a final goodbye. He was out the door a moment later. 

Aaron sighed as he laid his head back and closed his eyes. He knew they all were going to need some time to get past what had happened, and Aaron knew that some counseling was going to be in his future. He knew he could get around it, but knowing what Justin had gone through and seeing how hard the young man had worked to overcome what happened to him Aaron knew he couldn’t dodge. 

“Knock, knock. Would you like a little company?”

Aaron pulled his eyes away from his book and saw Emmett standing there with the most ridiculous bouquet and balloons in his hands. Aaron couldn’t help but be charmed.

“Come on in, Emmett. That is...an interesting bouquet.”

Emmett’s toothy smile and slight blush had Aaron softly laughing as the man strode in and set the thing on the stand next to Aaron’s bed. The balloons he took and tied them to the back of Aaron’s bed.

“I know they’re a bit ridiculous, but they are colorful and I always say that a boring ole’ hospital room such as this needs a lot of cheering up.” Emmett sat down on Aaron’s other side and set the bag he had with him down as well. “Besides, I thought that just maybe you would like somethin’ to eat that actually has flavor. Now, I know you like to eat healthy, but fuck that. I made you something good.”

Aaron used the bed remote to sit up a little more, then pulled the rolling tray closer to him. 

“Now, I will not be offended if it isn’t something you like, but us being southern boys, well I just kinda took liberties.” Emmett flashed that grin again and Aaron shook his head. 

“I’m sure I will love it.”

Emmett pulled out several plastic containers and set them down. He also had plates and utensils. Standing up he opened all of the containers and the scents wafting out of them had Aaron’s mouth watering. 

“That smells amazing, Emmett.”

“Cornbread, and if you’re a good boy, I just might bring you some mushy cornbread for breakfast. Your mama spilled the beans on that used to be your favorite breakfast growing up.”

“Emmett, you did not call my Mama for all this, did you?”

“Didn’t need to. She hired me to cater some of her shindigs, as she called them.”

Aaron sighed and knew that his mother was being supportive of his friends. But, Aaron also knew that Emmett’s party planning skills were quite epic. 

“Anyway, like I said, cornbread, mixed greens with a bit of ham hock, slow smoked ribs, and some rice and black eyed peas.”

Aaron looked at the food and raised a brow so high it almost disappeared into his hairline. 

“You cannot feed me like that all the time.”

“You, Mr. FBI, can indulge.” Emmett had been filling a plate for Aaron the whole time they were talking. After he handed Aaron a plate, along with utensils, there was another knock on his door. 

“Well, Ah see Mr. Honeycutt made you all your favorites.”

“Mama.”

“Ah got all I needed to know from Brian and Justin. You scared the crap out of me, child.” Annabelle walked over and kissed Aaron on the forehead. “Ah don’t know what Ah would do if I lost you.” Annabelle laid a hand over Aaron’s heart. “You sure you’re all right?”

“Mama, Ah’m gonna be fine. Ah just need some physical therapy and rest.”

Annabelle pulled up a chair and sat down, a plate was passed over to her and when she went to protest, Emmett crossed his arms over his chest, gave her a sassy look till she quietly laughed.

“Emmett, Ah have nevah seen anyone besides our old cook get her to sit and eat with us.”

“Well, she works too hard and needs to eat. A little indulgence now and then isn’t going to hurt anyone.”

Aaron picked up his plate and almost made the most obscene sounds as he took bites of the food. 

“Definitely don’t do this all the time. I’d have to run twenty miles just to run off all these calories.” 

“And I just bet you look hot in those little running shorts.” Emmett grabbed the other chair and sat down with his own plate of food.

“I think you’d have to fight Brian, Justin, and Tony.” Aaron innocently flirted back.

“I will stay firmly in Spencer’s embrace. What y’all got goin’ is a complicated mess, but our little boy child has grown a lot due to your influence, Aaron.” Emmett scooped up some rice and beans while he kept his eyes on Aaron.

“There was always a good man underneath all of those masks he used to protect himself with. Ah never thought that we’d be where we are.”

“And now that terrible young man is no longer hurtin’ people. Ah hope, Aaron Michael, that you take bettah precautions.”

Aaron set his empty plate aside and reached out for his mother’s hand.

“I will, Mama. Ah already got lectured by Bri. Now, Ah hate to do this but a couple of my agents are gonna be here in a few to take my statement. Thank you, Emmett, that was amazing.”

“It was my pleasure. Mrs. Hotchner, it was a pleasure to see you again.”

Annabelle stood and helped Emmett pack up.

“Pleasure was all mine, young man. Now why don’t we get outta here and let my Aaron rest a bit.”

Aaron said his goodbyes to his mother and Emmett before picking up his book once more. He tried to settle himself before his agents arrived to take his full statement. Aaron did not look forward to that.

When Tara, Spencer, and two of the local detectives arrived Aaron was exhausted, but he knew he needed to get this over with. He gave his statement, what he could remember of the encounter, then all but, Tara left. 

“Wanted to give you a heads up. The brass is coming down hard on my Dad. The reports from you, Spencer, and Tony all painted a picture of an out of control agent. I was warned it might not be pretty and the AD hinted to me that forced retirement was on the table.”

Aaron rubbed at his forehead. He had not wanted to see it come to this, but even he saw the changes in Gideon after Bale and the bombings in Boston. 

“Thank you for telling me, Tara. I’m sorry it came to this.”

“I know, Hotch. But, I think Dad should have retired a while ago, but he was stubborn. Jet is going to be coming up to visit you, so be prepared.” 

Aaron knew the quick change in subject was because Tara was hurting, though she didn’t show it. Aaron wasn’t sure how to comfort her, but he also knew she wouldn’t accept it. Sometimes she was as bad as all of the men she grew up around and that made Aaron a little sad to think about. 

“Tara, you know if you need to talk.”

“I know. There isn’t anything I can do. Dad made his decisions and it almost got you killed. He pushed to far and there will be consequences.”

“Okay, but you know I’m here. So, when is your other father supposed to be arriving?” Aaron gave a little smile and Tara just shook her head. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for one Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but he wanted to see his friend. Aaron would endure. When he was healed and moving around better he was going to invite the man to come for a proper visit. 

“Well, why don’t I leave you alone to rest. You look exhausted.”

“Just the medication is making me tired.”

“Go to sleep, Hotch. And let those men that love you take care of you. I know first hand how stubborn you can be.”

Aaron laughed despite the pain. Tara kissed his cheek then left him alone, though Aaron had the feeling that he wasn’t going to be alone for long. The thought that Brian or Justin would be there when he woke again had him letting go and drifting off to sleep. 

___________________________

Aaron was healing physically fairly well, he was going to physical therapy and either Justin or Brian would be with him learning what they could do to help on days Aaron didn’t go. He was desk bound for now and with the amount of paperwork that had piled up, he was okay with that. He was also on a strict schedule to not work too late each night. Tony was making sure he got out of there on time. 

Aaron was working on cooking dinner when Justin came down the stairs that had been built while Aaron had been on medical leave. The design was perfect as all of them had input into the design. It fit the industrial look Aaron had opted for the in his own loft. 

Justin had that look like he had a mission and Aaron wondered what was on his mind. The smirk on his face had Aaron a little worried as he came around the side and into the kitchen area. Aaron was carefully watching as he set his knife down and scraped vegetables into a prep bowl. His heart was jumping in his chest and his stomach was twisting a little as the silence in the flat stretched on as if their very surroundings were waiting to see what was going to happen. 

What Aaron didn’t expect was for Justin to wrap around him and pull his head down for a kiss. Aaron stiffened and a moment later Justin let Aaron go.

“Hmm, still avoiding me, huh?”

“I’m not avoiding you, Justin. You’ve been to my therapy sessions.”

“And it’s the only time you let me touch you, and you won’t talk to me.”

Aaron turned around and turned off the burners, the stir fry could wait. He leaned up against the counter and Justin sat on a stool.

“If you weren’t completely dressed, I’d say this is almost reminiscent of the night we met. Can you believe it’s been a little over eighteen months?”

Aaron crossed his arms, his shoulder was still healing, and he had lost some range of motion, but he was hoping that soon he could get back out on the firing range to see what kind of damage had been done to his marksman scores. He knew he was avoiding Justin, but after his conversation with Jackson, he had begun to doubt his feelings for the youngest member of their little group.

“Jackson talked to me a few days after I had come out of surgery. He told you guys about Victor.” Aaron had not known how he felt about that. Victor had been someone Aaron had put into a box and didn’t want to take out to examine his own feelings. But, his conversation with Jax had brought it all to the forefront.

“He did.” Justin slid off his stool and walked over to Aaron. “I know you’ve been twisted up about this, but I have never doubted how you feel about me. I love you, Aaron. And, I think  you love me, but you keep thinking that your feelings are somehow false.”

“Victor...” Aaron turned his head and looked out towards the window. “I think you need to see something. Something I’ve carried with me from place to place but never felt right hanging it up.” Aaron straightened up and went to his bedroom and pulled something out from the back of his closet. Bringing it out he handed the large package over to Justin.

“Open that.” Aaron choked on emotion as he handed the flat crate over. Going back to the kitchen he turned the wok back on and started to work on some fried rice while he heard Justin opening the crate that held one of Victor’s last paintings in. 

Finishing the rice, Aaron scraped it into a container and set it aside. Quickly cleaning the wok, he set about making almond green beans with thin sliced pork. He heard the sharp intake of breath and felt the involuntary tears roll down his face. He had packed up the painting just as he had packed up his heart and put them both in a safe place. 

A hand turned off the burner, then gently tugged on him till he was turned around.

“It’s beautiful. When did he do it?”

Aaron grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge and drank more than half of it down before he made his way into the living room and sat on the arm of one of his reading chairs. He looked at the painting, Victor had captured Aaron in one of his rawest moments. It was both beautiful and haunting all at the same time.

Aaron forced himself to look at it, which meant dealing with a time of his life he had not wanted to deal with. Tilting his head just a little, he tried to reconnect with the man in the painting.

“It was during our concentration finals. Jax and I took very different tracks, I was criminal, he wanted estate and civil law. Trevor and I were living together at the time and he decided that he was leaving. I loved him. At first I was dating men just to piss off my dead father, but I was also having fun. Trev, I thought, was it for me. He decided that he wanted something different and without talking to me, left and finished medical school in a different state. I felt like I was holding on by a thread and that was how Victor found me when Jax made him come see me.”

The painting was of Aaron with just some pants on, legs up to his chest with his head in his hands. His hair had been longer and a little wild. Victor had captured all of the emotions he was feeling into that one painting. The bits of debris around him, empty pizza boxes, bottles of beer, books and papers strewn around, it all worked together to set the tone. 

“It was just a few months later I met Haley, then Victor passed away.” Aaron started to get up, but Justin placed his hands on Aaron’s chest, keeping him right where he was.

“I’m not him. And, I know before whatever you talked about with Jackson, you never saw me as anyone but me. I’m sorry you lost someone you loved, and I’m sorry you had this big revelation, but I know for a fact you have never compared me to anyone else. You’ve gotten too far in your head, and you need to knock that shit off.”

Justin slotted himself between Aaron’s legs and cupped his face in his hands.

“You are an amazing person, Aaron, but you pile guilt on yourself for all these things that you have no control over. I know you care, and avoiding me, avoiding touching me, is not going to help you heal.”

Aaron took a deep breath before lips were pressed to his. When Justin pulled back, he had Aaron’s shirt in his fist and started to pull on him. Aaron went without protest. Justin didn’t stop till they were in Aaron’s bedroom.

Justin pushed Aaron till he was sitting on the edge of the bed then he straddled Aaron’s lap. Taking off his shirt he took Aaron’s hands in his own and kissed them before putting them on his abdomen near his waist.

“Touch me, Aaron. I’m not him and I don’t believe you ever thought that I was some kind of replacement. Touch me.” Justin locked eyes with Aaron, who was breathing hard as he started to touch. At first he was hesitant, but the smile and gentle prodding from Justin had Aaron making surer strokes. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Justin kissed Aaron again.

“No need to be sorry. You were going through a lot and I wanted to give you time, but I knew I had to push the issue.” Justin closed his eyes and kissed Aaron again this time he put heat and emotion behind it. Being mindful of Aaron’s shoulder, Justin pushed till Aaron fell back and had Justin wrapped up in his arms. The make out session started to heat up as Justin tried to get Aaron naked. It was awkward, and the two fumbled a bit laughing as they did. Once they were naked, Justin still took things in hand and by the time he was slipping down Aaron’s condom covered cock, he knew the man was on a hair trigger. It had been weeks since he was able to have sex. But this wasn’t necessarily about sex, but about Justin showing Aaron he didn’t have to feel guilty about anything. That what they had was more real and more profound than anything in the man’s past.

“Justin,” Aaron whined as he gripped Justin’s hips and took control of the situation. “I...”

“Shh, it’s okay, let go when you need.” 

Aaron’s eyes rolled back in his head when he felt himself close to that edge. Justin kissed him, and Aaron let out the filthiest moan Justin had ever heard. When he sat back up, Aaron helped him find his own release. 

Pulling off of Aaron, Justin walked to the bathroom still naked and quickly cleaned up. Aaron watched him the whole time till he could no longer see him. A moment later Justin was walking back towards the room with a wet cloth in his hand. Without saying much, he cleaned Aaron up, then crawled up his body and laid down.

“Thank you, Justin.”

Justin propped his head on Aaron’s chest. 

“You hold onto so many things that you are not responsible for.”

Aaron gently traced Justin’s face with his fingers.

“I know and I’ve been trying to let things go. Talking them out has helped.” Aaron let Justin go then sat up on the bed sitting back against the headboard. “Come here, something I want to talk to you about.”

Justin sat in Aaron’s lap and looked at him face to face. 

“I know how much you love Brian, but I also see how much closer you are to Tony. I want to ask you a question, and please be honest with me. If you say no, I will respect your wishes.”

Justin took Aaron’s hand in his and held it. 

“What is it?”

“After Haley died, I never wanted to think about the possibility of marriage with anyone else. Seeing Ben and Jax so happy, has made me reevaluate the idea. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, or interfere in the closeness between you and Brian.”

“Aaron, are you asking for my blessing to marry Brian?”

Aaron cupped Justin’s face with his hands and smiled.

“Yes. Yes I am. I don’t know what he’ll say. I know if I had approached him about this a year ago he would have blown me off, but now? He means more to me than I could ever express and I think, I think we could give it a shot.”

Justin placed a hand over Aaron’s heart.

“I give you, Aaron Michael Hotchner, my blessing to ask Brian Adian Kinney for his hand in marriage. Now, good luck with that.” Justin’s wicked smile had Aaron laughing. “You got him on a level that I always tried, but could never reach. It doesn’t mean Tony and I aren’t going to be in your life, or that you love me or Tony any less.”

“You are a good man, Justin Taylor. I don’t know if any of us deserve you.” 

“About time someone figured that out.” Justin slid off Aaron’s lap and found his clothes to slip back on. “I’m hungry, when are we eating?”

Aaron shook his head and slid off the bed as well to get dressed once more. Aaron went to wash up in the bathroom, then made his way back to the kitchen to try to salvage what he had prepped of dinner. 

Justin sat at the counter and chatted away, Aaron just made enough comments to keep Justin talking. It was nice, and Aaron was looking forward to more days like this. The four men had loved having the stairs built, it was perfect for them. Aaron thought that maybe, sometime in the future they could get a house, but even he wasn’t ready to give up the loft just yet. 

Aaron heard noise on the stairs and figured that Brian was making his way down. Tony would be arriving soon and dinner would be ready for all of them by the time he arrived. 

“Is there anything in your law books that gives you the right to arrest assholes?” Brian walked in, and kissed Justin, then Aaron on the side of the cheek, grabbed for a raw snow pea, then seemed to collapse in on himself as he sat on a stool next to Justin. 

“Depends on what happened?”

Brain picked at the vegetable, his eyes focused on the counter and Aaron tried to decipher the thoughtful look on his face.

“A client propositioned me. Basically telling me if I want the account he wants me to meet him in his hotel room. Thing is, even the old me would think very hard on this one because the man is nowhere near the type of man I would even dance with, let alone touch. He’s,” Brian shuddered thinking about the client that gave even him a weird vibe. “He’s a bit repugnant.”

“What happens if you refuse?” Aaron had finished the the garlic sesame snow peas and set them to the side. He was working on a cucumber salad and that would be ready quickly. It would compliment the spicy pan fried noodles. Both Justin and Brian were watching him finishing up.

“I lose the account and Vanguard fires me. I’ve been warned to do whatever it takes to get the account.”

“Is this something you would have done in the past?” Aaron set the salad aside. The rest of the food could be quickly reheated when Tony got home.

“In a heartbeat. Especially if the client was hot.” Aaron noted the sarcasm in Brian’s voice. He didn’t have to ask where it came from. Aaron moved from around the counter to get to Brian. 

“I’m not going to tell you what to do. I made a promise to you months ago that I wasn’t going to push you for things you weren’t ready for, but I think you’ve come to a place in your life, and our relationship that if you did do this, it would break a part of you that may never heal.”

Brian reached out and grabbed Aaron’s hips and pulled him closer. 

“What happens to me if I get fired. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am, and I don’t just mean seducing clients. That had just been a fun side effect.” Brian curved his lips up in a crooked smile, but Aaron could see that it didn’t reach his eyes.  

“Then we’ll figure it out. You aren’t alone, Brian. If you need it, I can give you money.”

“Aaron...” Brian started to protest as he gently pushed Aaron away and started to pace around the room. “I would never ask you to do that.”

“I was offering. But, I think you are jumping the gun. If you refuse, and they fire you, you can sue them.”

“Yeah, and get raked over the coals for the very thing that I am refusing to do when I used to do it all too often?” Brian ran his hands through his hair and paced around. “Fuck. Goddamn fucking, fuck.” 

Aaron was just letting Brian have his rant, he and Justin both knew the man just needed to get it out of his system. Tony walked in and Aaron could see his confusion and worry. 

“What happened?”

“Stupid, fucking clients is what happened.” 

“Okay. I’m just going to go change and be back, then you can explain.” Tony went to his room and Justin quickly followed after, leaving Aaron with a frustrated Brian.

“Hey, come here.” Aaron tugged a little on Brian and pulled him into his arms. “I’m serious. If you get fired, I’m here Bri. I can help till you figure out what you want to do. You are not alone in this.”

Brian sighed and kissed Aaron before he broke the hold and went to get a beer from the fridge. He was quiet as he leaned against the short counter next to it. Aaron could see him thinking and Aaron let him be for now. He got the food reheated and by the time Tony and Justin were back he was setting the table for dinner. Everyone sat around it and started to plate up what they wanted. Brian was still quiet, sipping his beer. Conversation went around him, Aaron telling Tony what was up, Tony getting pissed off for Brian, and Justin didn’t say much about the situation. 

“Well, fuck it.” Brian set his beer bottle down on the table a little harder than he meant to. “I’ve been talking about it off and on for a few years now, this is the right time. I’ve worked on my image, and I have my own client list that  _ I  _ brought to Ryder that just morphed into Vanguard. They can’t make me not woo them, or anyone else that seeks an advertiser.

“I can do it. Hell, fucking yeah. I can do it.”

“Mind clueing in the rest of the class?” Tony set his own beer aside as he leaned on the table.

“I’ll start my own company. I have the means, I have the contacts. I’ve been mending some fences and I know I can do this.”

“I’m almost done with classes, I can help.”

“Help, hell you can run my damn art department. Ted, I’ll get Ted to do the accounting. Yeah, hot fucking damn it’s about time I try.”

“Whatever you want, Brian. I can be your first backer.”

“Aaron...”

“No. I have some money that I need to bleed off and this sounds like the perfect investment. I’ll seed you the start-up. Get Jax to work on all the legal stuff.”

Brian stood and pulled Aaron to his feet, minding his shoulder, and kissed him long and hard. 

“I love you, you stupid bastard.” Brian smiled as he held Aaron’s face in his hands.

“I love you too. And, if I know you, you’ll blow their socks off.”

“Yes. Yes I will.” Tony and Justin also wrapped Brian up in a hug, and Aaron had zero doubts about his success. Things around the Hotchner-Kinney-Taylor-DiNozzo household were definitely coming together better than any of them had ever believed possible.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

 

 

“ _ Living life is fun and we've just begun, To get our share of the world's delights, high hopes we have for the future, And our goals in sight, no we don't get depressed, 'Cause here's what we call our golden rule, Have faith in you and the things you do, You won't go wrong,”  _ Sister Sledge, We Are Family.

 

_ One Year Later _

 

“Well, what can I say, it’s been an interesting year, even with all of you fuckers in my life.” Brian smirked at the small crowd in the open office of Kinetic, Brian’s advertising agency, and the laughter make him feel good. It had been a struggle at first, but Aaron made sure he was there with Brian all of the way. Aaron’s arm healed, but some of his marksmen scores did suffer. He didn’t have the same control he once had with long range weapons, but handguns he still had near perfect scores. He hated being on desk duty all the time, but he was learning to cope, though he still went out on high-profile cases when needed. 

Justin had gotten a scholarship from the Malcolm Hotchner foundation, and with the success of the comic book he and Michael continued to write, he was able to push it and finish art school by the time Brian had Kinetic up and running. The art for the campaigns was what brought more and more clients to Brian. They loved the personal touch and passion that came through the whole company.

Tony took on some of Aaron’s outside duties with his partner Tara and they had proved to be an excellent team in the field. Aaron couldn’t have been prouder of the pair. Spencer also was shedding more of his shyness and that was mostly due to his boyfriend, Emmett. The two of them had become inseparable, and Aaron was glad for his youngest agent. 

“Seriously, this year was a lot of hard work and a  _ lot  _ of PR work. Emmett, thank you for the amazing parties you helped me throw.” Emmett blushed and gave everyone his awkward but adorable smile. “Teddy, you maybe a bit of a douchebag, but you’re my douchebag, and you’ve helped us keep this place going when I thought we weren’t going to make it. So, maybe you aren’t so bad after all.”

“Well, thank you Brian for that rather interesting toast, I think I’ll take it.” Ted laughed as he held his boyfriends hand. Aaron and Brian had both watched from the sidelines as Ted had fallen on his ass, but was there when he needed help. Blake had been good for Ted, Aaron only found out later about their past history, but it looked like the both of them were working through their problems together. 

“Damn right you will, Teddy boy. You did good.” Brian was trying to be a better person all around. He knew he had a lot to lose now, he couldn’t be the thirty-three year old party boy that he once was. 

“Well, everyone of you has helped us in one way or another and we came through this year ahead of projections. This little party is for you guys. So, thank you.”

Everyone cheered and took a sip of their champagne.

“And last, I want to thank my oh so patient husband for letting me rant and rage when I needed, and for helping to seed this little venture. If it wasn’t for his help in the beginning, I don’t know where I would be right now.’

“Bri,” Aaron smiled and pulled Brian to him and kissed him. The whoops and hollers was something the two of them had gotten used to over the last year after they had gone up to Canada and gotten married. The FBI had not done anything to Aaron, which had been a fear of his. Mainly because the US didn’t yet recognize same sex marriages, the FBI just has them down as a domestic partnership. Aaron could live with that because where it counted, he and Brian were married. “It was worth it, every penny, every moment, every heartache or loss. Seeing you, Justin, Ted, everyone who works here, succeed. I believed in you from the start.”

“Dammit, you’re going to make me get all mushy in front of everyone.” Brian teased.

“Can’t have that now can we?” Aaron laughed as he pulled Brian in for another kiss. “Surely no one believes your once terrible reputation anymore.”

Brain grabbed a glass of champagne as a waited passed by them. 

“All thanks to you and the terrible two over there.” Brian pointed out Justin and Tony. Tony had an arm wrapped around Justin’s shoulder’s holding the young man close. “You know, I sometimes wonder what would have happened to us if you had not come along. I love Justin, but even I knew at the time that I wasn’t good for him. Problem was, the kid didn’t listen. I think I would have broken his heart.” Brian watched the two men with a wistful look on his face. 

“I don’t want to think about that. We’ve all come a long way, Bri. Even me. I had a lot that I never resolved and you challenge me to work through things I didn’t want to work through.”

“Come on, before we get sappy and stupid.” 

Aaron chuckled again as he took Brian’s hand. They mingled around the room, thanking clients, spending time here and there with friends. At one point Michael took Brian aside and Brian just rolled his eyes, but went with him. Aaron was then being pulled away by Jackson who hugged him close.

“It’s nice to finally see Aaron Hotchner happy.”

“My life is fucking weird.” Aaron connected his forehead to Jackson’s, the two of them reinforcing their connection to each other. “But, I don’t think I’d have it any other way.”

“Sappy bastard.” Jackson touched Aaron’s face before pulling away.

“And I am not going to apologize for it.” 

“And you shouldn’t. You deserve it, Aaron.”

“And you deserve being happy too. I’m glad you and Ben are doing well. Hunter is doing well?”

“Yeah, he is. That is after I made it very clear to the idiot parents that outed Hunter’s status that I was going to sue their little asses for every single penny they had for not only panicking the school, but hurting my son. They thought they could intimidate me.” Jackson looked over at Ben and Hunter as they talked to Tara and one of the new agents Tara had taken under her wing.

“But they had no idea who they were dealing with.” Aaron had been upset as well. Hunter had been a whirlwind into Ben and Jackson’s life, but the boy had been good for the both of them. They made the kind of family that Aaron fought for every single day of his life. 

“No, they did not. Luckily they figured out apologizing was the better and less expensive route as well as some reeducation into HIV and AiDS. I’m glad those auxiliary classes that the Community Center is hosting are helping. Hunter’s situation at school has improved greatly. The swim coach was fired and they got a new one in. A better coach all around and one more tolerant. Hunter just might go to state finals.”

“That’s great, Jax.” 

Aaron was looking around the room when he was startled out of his thoughts when a baby was being pushed towards him.

“Please take her for a while. She has not settled and you seem the be the only one who can settle her.” Mel looked exhausted and Aaron took the little girl in his arms and almost immediately she calmed down. “I hate you so much right now.”

Aaron laughed as he gently rocked the baby in his arms. 

“She just wanted her father.” Aaron smirked.

“Yeah, well maybe we’ll leave her and Gus with you and Brian for a few days.”

“Mel, anything you need for Jenny and Gus, we’re there, you know that. If you and Linds need a few days let us know. The house is almost ready and we’ll be moving in soon. Gus and Jenny have their own rooms.”

“Your Mom did a beautiful job on designing it.”

“Yeah she did. I can’t wait for us to move in. We’ll plan something for everyone to come over.”

“I ah, I’m just gonna....” Mel looked longingly at the tray of alcohol.

“Go ahead. I’m not drinking. I’ll watch her.”

The relief on Mel’s face was priceless as she wandered towards the alcohol and took a glass.

“Hey, beautiful. Giving your Mom’s a hard time?” Aaron smiled down at Jenny Rebecca and for the first time in years was able to truly let go of Jack. He often fantasized about what his son would have been like but he knew that was an exercise in pain that never truly went away.

“That’s a good look on you.”

Aaron looked up to see Justin’s mother. The two of them had talked over the last year and she slowly came to an understanding about the relationship between the four men. It may not have been what she envisioned for her son, but she reluctantly admitted that he was happy and healthy. 

“Jennifer, how are you?”

“Doing very well thanks to your Mother and her very keen eye and good connections.”

“She does tend to whirl in and shake things up. I’m glad you two are friends. Mom doesn’t often get along with many in her peer group. Too outspoken and won’t take sitting at home being a good little wife.”

“I wish I had learned that lesson much sooner. She is gorgeous, you know.”

Aaron gently rubbed Jenny’s cheek as he smiled down at the now sleeping baby.

“Your Mom told me one day about what happened with your son. I look at Justin and I cannot even come close to imagining what that would have done to me. You’re more than I gave you credit for when we first met.”

“You were protecting Justin. I understood, Jennifer.”

“Have you ever thought...”

Aaron saw Lindsey coming over. She had a glass of something sparkling and clear in her hands. 

“I brought you something to drink. Club soda, I heard you aren’t drinking tonight.”

“Nope. Here, I think she’ll stay asleep now.”

“Mel told me that you had rooms built for Gus and Jenny in your new house.”

“Brian and I are serious that we want to stay in our children’s lives, Linds. I think Brian has proved more than once over the last couple of years how much Gus means to him. And there is no way I could have ever given her up completely.”

“And we’ll never ask you too. It’s worked out beautifully and you were there for us when Mel and I were less than cordial with each other. I don’t think I can thank you enough for all of your help.”

“No need, Linds. I care about Mel a lot and she loves you, even when she’s being a stubborn, stupid jackass.”

“I...”

“Don’t. We all make mistakes and Mel was confronted with hers when you made yours. You both are dealing with the issues that got you there and that’s all that counts. These two need you both.”

Lindsay leaned in and kissed Aaron’s cheek.

“Thank you. And, you were right about Justin as well. He’s doing amazing, even here in Pittsburgh.” Lindsay softly chuckled before she moved on to mingle some more.

“Have you thought of having children? Because I think that you would make an amazing father. And I reluctantly say this, but the way Brian has grown up, the way he is with Gus and how he loves kids, I could see him being a father.”

Aaron smiled at Jennifer before squeezing her shoulder to go in search of his partner. If his watch was right soon the next surprise they had should be arriving. He found Brian talking with Ted and Blake.

“Hey, are you sure you are ready for this?”

“Aaron, I’ve told you and Justin a thousand times, that yes I want this.”

“Good.” 

“What is going on with you two?” Ted asked suspiciously.

Aaron just smiled as he wrapped an arm around Brian’s waist. 

“You’ll find out when everyone else does, Teddy. So be patient.” Brian pulled Aaron away into a corner and kissed him. 

“My Mom texted that the painters finished up today. She said give it a day or so and we can all start to move in. With the four of us we should be able to make quick work or it. Justin and Tony’s wing of the house is perfect for them and I cannot wait to show Justin the surprise we have for him. It’s so much better than the loft we were renting out.”

“It’s a beautiful design. It’s perfect for him. Your mom did a great job on all of it.”

“Tony’s music room is done, the soundproofing went in and the walls are finished. I think he’ll love it.”

“I want to know that you use it as well. I want to hear you play more, Aaron. You need to take it back and remember that you are important too.”

“This is a big change, Bri. For all four of us.”

Brian took a deep breath before he leaned back against the wall and looked out on the party going on around them.

“You know, when you walked into Babylon almost three years ago I never thought this was where my life was leading. I knew what I was. A playboy, someone who didn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything. I didn’t care about a lot of people. I only cared about making money, fucking, and getting high.

“Then here comes Mr. Tall, Dark, and so very fuckable and he turns my very world upside down in a matter of days. I saw someone that cared, that had more in life than I did and it had nothing to do with money or men. You fought me, you challenged me, you fucking changed my world, Aaron Kinney-Hotchner. You made me care and when it got rough, you didn’t leave. That confused the fuck out of me at first. But, we made it to here and now. I don’t want to be that brainless playboy. His life was empty, he was just existing and trying to make himself not feel anything, because to feel meant it could hurt. 

“I love you, and you made me face myself.”

Brian licked his lips and looked down at the floor for a moment till Aaron was pressing into him kissing him, telling him him everything he felt with that kiss.

“You changed me too, Brian. You made me face hard truths about myself, and you made me  face a past I had a hard time even looking at. I love you too and I don’t think we could have done this any other way.”

Brian huffed out a laugh and cupped Aaron’s cheek. The moment was interrupted by a text on Aaron’s phone.

“They’re here. You ready for this?”

“More than.” 

Aaron and Brian made their excuses and said they would be back in a moment. Running down the stairs together in their excitement they met the woman who was waiting at the door with two kids standing next to her. Both Aaron and Brian had gotten to know the kids over the last few months and when it came time to start the adoption, the children had cried in their arms. 

Aaron crouched down in front of the little girl.

“Are you two okay with the party going on?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Aaron’s heart clenched at hearing that name. They had all discussed it, but hearing it for the first time almost had Aaron losing it. They agreed that Brian was Althair, an old fashioned word but Brian liked it more than he would admit. The agency knew that they were going to be living with another couple, but the true nature of the relationship had never been revealed. Aaron and Brian knew they had to be absolutely careful about how they went about the adoption. But, the kids knew some of it, what they could understand anyway. Standing, Aaron took the little girls hand and Brian took the boys. 

“Thank you Mrs. Hutchins for everything.”

“You’re welcome Mr. Kinney-Hotchner. You both have shown yourselves to be wonderful father’s and the kids love you. It’s been a pleasure to fight for you in adopting Austin and Kyla. The final paperwork had been notarized and it is one-hundred percent official.” The woman handed Brian the thick packet of papers, said her goodbye’s then left. 

“Ready?”

“Ready, Daddy.” Aaron gently squeezed Kyla’s hand. 

“Ready, kiddo?” Brian looked fondly at the boy.

“Ready, Althair.” 

The four of them made their way back up the stairs, the last piece of the family that both men had always craved and had at one time been too afraid to admit to. Now, their futures held everything for them and more. Cresting the last steps, Tony and Justin stood with them as they introduced the children to everyone there. Their family might be different, but it wasn’t any less filled with love and the potential for a lifetime of happiness, heartache, joy, and laughter. Aaron looked at his husband with their lovers by their sides and knew this was truly their beginning.

 

**THE END**


End file.
